What are some simple habits that can help us build our mental strength?

  This is an excellent question to ask ourselves during challenging times when we feel isolated because our mental strength can help us better deal with our day to day life.

So what are some simple habits that can help us build our mental strength?

Let’s start with just these three.

 

Mental strength building habit 

  #1. Grow your mindset.

Carol Dweck, professor of psychology at Stanford, wrote a book called Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. This book completely changed the way I understood the capabilities of the human brain. Dr. Dweck makes an important distinction between two mindsets: fixed and growth mindset. 

                 A fixed mindset is when you think the world is “fixed” i.e. everything stays the same forever, and people never change and are incapable of being in control of their lives. You’re lucky if you have good genes, a particular talent or gift; conversely, if your IQ isn’t stellar, too bad because you can’t do anything to improve your intellect.

To apply this way of thinking to the present challenges we are facing, having a fixed mindset can mean we’re seeing the world completely out of our control. Governments are in power, presidents can “save” or “destroy” the population of their country depending on the decisions and laws they put into effect. And we, the regular people, just react — no choices, no decision-making is up to us. We merely receive — the news, new laws, restrictions, you name it. And that way of thinking can make us feel powerless. It’s exactly what we should avoid! Here’s where having a growth mindset can prove helpful.

How can you do it?

Shift your focus from generalizing and “awfulizing” about the global health crisis to identifying something that is within your control and that you can work on every single day. Instead of reading the news on Twitter for hours and getting more anxious by the minute, how about you identify one area of your life that you can improve (and that has a positive side effect of making you feel better about yourself)? 

             For example, take that extra time you have while you’re at home to practice a skill. Go on YouTube and learn how to bake bread from scratch. Take that book that’s been sitting on your shelf for months and read the first chapter. Take 10 minutes each morning to do a simple workout routine that will get your endorphins going — and you’ll benefit from this “happy” hormone, especially now.

 

Mental strength building habit 

#2. See obstacles in a new light.

How often have you told yourself lately, if only I planned ahead I would have bought more canned soup, flour, rice, paper towels? Or, if only I wasn’t stuck at home I would still be following my diet of no carbs and no sugar? In those moments when you’re trying to rationalize your decisions, you’re blaming the obstacles (in this instance, the current situation) for not allowing you to achieve your short or long-term goals.

         Or, to put it differently, you’re giving the external factors top priority and more importance than anything you can do. But what if obstacles were to serve a different purpose in your life? Instead of using them as an excuse to avoid something or even to quit something, you can use them to your advantage.

 

How can you do it?

In his book Discipline Equals Freedom: Field Manual, retired US Navy SEAL Jocko Willink has a power tip for how to deal with obstacles. I find it a bit controversial but it works. Jocko says that when you reach an obstacle, instead of saying, Oh no! you should embrace it and say, GOOD! Why talk about an obstacle in a positive light? It’s a subtle switch of your mindset that can yield big results because (a) it affects how you react to a problematic situation, (b) gives you a greater feeling of control, and (c) allows your brain to be more flexible instead of rigid. If you’ve been getting bad grades in your college courses in the past year, GOOD! Now you’ll have more time to prepare and organize your study days more effectively. 

           If you’ve been complaining that the apartment is a mess because your busy schedule doesn’t give you time to clean things up, GOOD! Now you’ll be able to find the time, maybe just 30 minutes each day, to tidy up. If you feel bad that you haven’t been reaching out to friends as much as you used to, GOOD! You can use this time to send a quick text message or call to let them know you’re thinking about your friendship.

 

Mental strength building habit 

    #3. Ride with the turbulence.

It’s an absolutely normal thing to encounter unexpected situations in your life. OK, so this current situation is definitely something out of the ordinary, but it’s not the first time you’ve encountered a turbulent time. Right? In fact, more often than not, our week takes a different turn from what we imagine it should be. 

                 In the past, you would think that you have ten days to complete a project and then suddenly the deadline gets pushed up so you have only three days left. Nowadays, it’s the opposite — you have more time on your hands. What do you fill it with? It’s best to be careful not to let emotions take over your whole day, whether it’s feelings of anger, helplessness, or frustration. It may actually benefit you if you were to go with the flow, and take each day as it comes.

 

How can you do it?

 

             Step one is to be aware of the thoughts that are running through your mind as you’re reacting to the unexpected event. The thoughts might sound something like this. It’s the end of the world! I’ll starve if I don’t buy large quantities of food this week! I’ll never see my friends! We will never feel safe going to the movie theater! 

       Step two is to tell yourself that whatever emotion you are feeling is only going to be temporary. You can say, Of course I’m upset, no wonder — everyone else is going through the same thing! It’s normal to have an emotional reaction right now but it will pass! 

    And step 3 is to ask yourself, What can I do right now to make myself feel better? You can choose to get off Twitter, turn off the TV for one hour, take a few deep breaths, pick some music to dance to in your living room, make yourself a warm meal or get a snack, or take out a pen and write a bit in your journal to give your thoughts and emotions a place to live.

 

Remember — what you do each day, no matter how small, will add up. Make sure you make every little moment matter. ♥️

-Nela Canovic