Please hear me out on this. This is so important

I don’t see myself getting married anytime soon (if ever.) But I’ve experienced this first hand.

If you are a woman who is married, about to get married, or even dreams of getting married, please make sure you have an education or a means to make money.

I understand if you want to be a stay-at-home mom or not be the main source of income. Feminism is about giving you that choice, and if it’s what you truly want, have at it.

But please for the sake of your future-have a side business, or an education, or some form of a career you can jump into if need be.

So many marriages start out great and progress into something completely different.

Maybe the man you wouldn’t dream could hurt a fly has no trouble taking his anger out on you.

Maybe he cheats on you.

Or maybe after 20 years you two have grown so far apart you no longer see a future together.

This is where your education and career is important.

If you have no career or money prospects, you’re essentially betting your entire livelihood on one man.

I’ve seen women who stay in horrible, abusive situations and relationships, simply because they have no other option. They feel trapped and extremely unhappy…but it’s all they’ve got. They’re living out a nightmare.

And I want you to be able to leave a relationship if that’s what you need.

I don’t want you to feel trapped within your own life. Suffocated. I don’t want you to have to put up with anything less than what you are worth.

So please, Find a way to make money if need be.

And if your relationship is going well, you’re still not exempt from a similar horror. Maybe he becomes extremely ill and is unable to work or passes away. How are you going to provide for yourself and your family?

Life has many ways of falling apart. I want you to be prepared for a it.

So please, Find a way to make money!

This goes without mentioning the stress this puts the man under. Honestly I feel as though this is a huge reason why men have a shorter life-span. With the man being so pressed to make a living, he may continue in a job he despises, stay away from a career that has high earning potential because of the low starting income, or worse yet completely give up on his dreams in life. It has a cost for all within the family.

I wish money didn’t rule the world…but it truly does.

(Sorry for the depressing read, I just really think it’s something that needs to be said. And sometimes, the things we need to hear are not what we want to hear. But they are still important.)

Invest in your mental and physical health.

You are not invincible.
Your body will change when you get older.
You are not different than the rest of the world.

So take care of yourself today.
Eat better, exercise and be positive.

-Sowmya Sridharan

Listen buddy, don’t listen to anyone.

You are right when you think you can or cannot do.

I am 33 years old, 12 years experienced person in IT. I earn 56 lac total pre-tax per year including stocks and bonus. My managers and their managers obviously earn a lot more than me.

Do I have a master degree ? No. I have B.tech degree in computer science.

Am I from IIT or some prestigious institute ? No, I’m not even from tier 2 college, a university which was regarded as value less one upon a time, and decommissioned there after.

Did I top my college at least ?
I managed to pass my 3rd semester because of practical marks, I got 39 in theory.

Did I do my schooling from DPS/KV/Some prime schools ? No, I studied in regional language, scoring 88% in 10th and 85% in 12th.

Did I changed my companies too often to take salary hikes ? Nope, working at the 3rd company.

Am I lucky ? Yes, definitely. I was ready, and right place at the right time. I am very grateful for this.

But Above all, I work like a horse. I was ready when the opportunities knocked.
While others were busy having fun in college, I was busy learning english as a language. I was passionate about programming.

When others were busy having fun in free time on job, I was producing 2 people worth of work.

When others were settling down as leaders, I was busy learning leadership and management.

I never chased salary, but chased how well I can do my job. How important I can be in my business unit.

One advise: Leave the salary to luck; put your heart in the work that you do, be it a job or business or just managing household or as small as helping someone cross the road.

Be very.......

Don't be pressurized into doing anything you don't want to do.

You will make mistakes. That's part of life, but don't let someone else make them in your life.

-Sowmya Sridharan

Love yourself enough

Don't rush into relationships

Don't rush into relationships. It's only a part of your life. It's not everything. Invest in your education and in your future.

When I used to teach at the University, I had students the same age as me or even older struggling to study, work and take care of their family. The older we get, the more responsibility piles on. It seems like a simple enough thing everyone should know and everyone tells you about. However, most 20 year olds don't seem to understand it or think they somehow are unique and won't be touched by life. As the responsibilities pile on, it becomes a struggle everyday to increase your value in terms of financial freedom.

-

Sowmya Sridharan

 

 “..you are your own CEO..”

Who can be fired by the actual CEO in less than a text message.

“Do what you love”

But plan on the likelihood of being broke. Want to know the quickest way to ruin a hobby or passion? Make it your career. Ask any graphic designer. Or staff writer. Hell - even doctors.

“Do as I say, not as I do.”

…usually said by a parent to a child after they do something shitty. If you don’t want your 6-year-old to drop the F-Bomb…

..how about you stop dropping the F-Bomb 30x a day around them?

“if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”

You are correct - I don’t deserve you. Nor do I prefer you.

When I hear this phrase, all I see:

-

-Sean Kernan

Your Value...........

There’s a war after your mind.

It’s subtle, astute, ingenious, clever… it’s deceiving.

It’s powerful!

There’s a continuous attack to control your thoughts. Everything that you hear and see is after your mind.

Social media? It’s NOT entertainment, it’s containment… it wants to control you.

Whoever controls the mind controls the man.

Whoever controls your thoughts will control your future. Winning or losing the battle of your mind will determine your destiny.

Are YOU in control of your mind?

Be careful who you listen to. Media can corrupt, clarify, pervert, protect or destroy your life.

We live in the Information Age — today’s weapons are not only physical weapons, but weapons of ideologies on a mission to manipulate your thoughts.

Whoever controls your attention will control your life. Are YOU in control?

-Hector Quintanilla

Trying ?

It’s important not to completely ignore what others think of you.

But it’s just as important not to live your life trying to please everyone.

Society isn’t a single voice—it’s made up of countless people, each with their own opinions. No matter what you do or believe in, someone will always disagree or be upset.

There’s a powerful quote: “You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.” I completely agree with this. But I’d also like to add another thought: “You have friends? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

Real relationships—friendship, love, or respect—come only when you stand for something. If you always try to fit in or avoid conflict, you may never connect with people on a deeper level.

In truth, love and hate often come from the same place. The people who are most admired are often the ones who are also criticized the most.

Trying to please everyone is not only impossible—it can cost you your peace and sense of self.

What matters more is knowing how much to please other and how much to stand up for yourself. Make your choices with that in mind.

The key is to find a balance between staying true to yourself and being considerate of others. That balance is what leads to a meaningful and fulfilling life.

Karma's Role In Unemployment

 I know a very wise man.

He draws one of the the highest salary given by the government of our country.

Once we were having a discussion about struggles during initial days.

He said that there was a time when his parents had almost nothing left to sponsor his studies.

While he was failing all exams by thin margins.

I asked him how did he deal with that phase.

He simply said-

“God has given me two hands, two legs and a mind. I was sure that if any day I simply go out and start driving or do some physical labor, I will at least earn food for two times. This thought kept me going with full force until I found my way”

His words did magic to my thoughts.

That day I learnt that-

If you can't earn at your current level, be it any reason, shamelessly step down and you will become the best among rest and easily earn a livelihood.

There is another example-

In 2008, due to recession, a person lost his job of around 40K a month.

He didn't get any job even after repeated searches.

Finally he stepped down from his current level, opened a Chaat (snack) cart, hired two employees, used good quality oil and fresh products.

Slowly he built a customer base.

And now after a decade, he has rented out a store and is earning much more than that job.

Keep doing your karma (deeds) shamelessly, unbothered about what others may think, and you will definitely find a source of income.

-Anubhav Jain

Changing Yourself or Changing the World ?

Here are some things to consider every time you worry about what others might think........

If you are jobless........

Here are some things to consider every time you worry about what others might think:

I believe in what I'm going to call the disappointment imperative. I am completely ready and willing to disappoint anyone who wants something for me that I don't want for myself.

People think about you less than you think. They have the audacity to be too preoccupied with themselves to be concerned about you. (I mean, sheesh.)

Why do people talk about others? Because tearing someone else down is evidence that you are unhappy with a part of your own life. The happier you are, the less you will criticize someone else, and the more empathy you will feel for what they are going through.

What someone says about you when they are unhappy with themselves is more about them than it is about you. As such, it's not ever a good guide for how to live your life. Don't make decisions based on what others might think or say. It will steer you wrong every time.

The busier you are working on you, your life and your happiness, the less time you will have to talk about others. And even better, the less time you will have to show any concern for what others say about you.

Most of all, I am a deeply flawed person. I have a lot of work to do and as such I have no time to waste.

-Dushka Zapata

If a cab driver makes more money than an IT professional, why should I study?

Let me talk about kids and young people and what can damage them the most

1. Long term emotional neglect. If you are neglected by caregivers — not touched, not treasured, not seen and barely noticed, your heart will die a little every day. You will either decide you have no value or you will do whatever it takes to get the attention you crave. Both will lead to disaster.
2. Long term emotional abuse. It sounds crazy, but this may be less damaging than complete neglect. It’s bad, but at least you are real and alive and seen. Still, like the neglected child, you may grow up to be hateful, abusive yourself, or you may seek out abusive relationships because that’s all you know.
3. Substance abuse in children and teens. This is much worse than for adults, because kids are wired to develop psychologically at a fairly rapid pace. Being stoned or drunk or high interrupts the course of development. We don’t get a second chance at childhood or adolescence, even if some of the damage can be repaired later.
4. Traumatizing experiences without adequate support. Long, serious illnesses, major accidents, and big losses like a nasty divorce, can interrupt healthy development. High conflict divorce is a double whammy because kids are hurt by parental conflict, and parents may disappear into their own issues, making matters worse.
5. Being different. Kids who feel different because they are too fat, or too slow, or too clumsy, or sexually different can really suffer. Often they get only generic pep talks that minimize their pain and sense of exclusion. In our evolution, being a member of the tribe meant survival, so kids long for it. Exclusion for long periods can be seriously damaging.

-David McPhee

Resume not getting shortlisted ?

Hold on. It is not only about luck. Trust me. It is about skills, credibility, visibility, supply and demand to a very large extent.

It is not enough if you have skills. In addition, the world should know that you exist (visibility) and can clear the interviews (credibility) given an opportunity. It matters because companies spend significant time and money screening, shortlisting and interviewing hundreds of applicants already.

There is an order in which you fix things.

1. Ensure your skills are relevant, polished and top notch. There is no point chasing the job openings without it.
2. Get a higher degree from a reputed institute if possible.
3. Network with people in key roles both online and offline (if you join a reputed institute this aspect becomes easy). Tell them how you have been sharpening your skills over the last few months and how you are ready to interview for challenging roles. Request them to refer you at their workplace.
4. People don’t mind referring other genuine and capable people. In fact, they get paid for it in some places.

It is a fact that companies don’t have time to even screen all resumes they get on their websites or through consultants. Your resume should impress the person screening it in like 3 seconds to get shortlisted. So, how is it going to stand out among the millions of resumes floating around? Think about it.

-Imtiaz Mohammad

Government Job or Private Job ?

I was getting a higher salary in my private job when I made a transition to this public sector job in May, 2016.

Let's discuss a few things before coming to any one-sided conclusion whether the 70K private job is better than 40K government job.

• There is more at stake than just money.
• If you come from a typical middle-class family, the society expects us to crack a government exam to get tag of a successful career.
• So, since childhood we have been prepared for targeting merits and ultimately a government job.
• Government job comes with a host of other complementary benefits.
• Like medical facilities for self and dependent family members lifelong, financial and job stability.
• I even got easy loan approval for my younger brother's graduation.
• Job stability comes with some other side effects.
• Job stability has been institutionalized by various means like time-bound promotions instead of merit-based promotions, perks and bonuses depending not entirely on the performance of an individual.
• This leads to a little or almost no motivation to investment in the upskilling and learnings the latest technology and trends.
• It also leads to unskewed distribution of the work load where some are overburdened and others are free to work-at-ease. More work doesn't mean better future benefits.
• There is an evident glass-ceiling unless you come from an influential background.
• It is very difficult to get to the top management you have someone known at the top or approach to top-level influence..
• Only the performance and upskilling can take you so-far in life.

---

Let's come back to question,

Which one is better, a 70K private job or a 40K government job?

The answer is both ‘yes' and ‘no'. It depends on your personality and your priorities.

My early stage career priority was to have a settled place to live with my mother and younger brother, to provide some roof over my family after my father's demise.

So, I chose a public sector firm that provided a township and a safe place to stay. It also had provided medical facilities that were easily reimbursed within a few days. My mother's health was deteriorating and she got good medical care once she started living with me here.

Here is a click of Ravan from the dussehra puja celebaration in the township.

Here is another recent photo of our township that clicked after morning walk.

Now after working for more than six years in this firm, my priorities have changed. I don't want to be in my comfort zone. I can afford a transition in my career. Moreover, I don't feel motivated enough with the work culture here.

I am investing in leaning new skills and trying to hone the skills that I already possess.

Wish me luck and if you are looking to hire, I am ready to switch.

-Pankaj Prasad , Assistant Manager-National Fertilizers Limited

I love the quotes of Mark Twain

His quotes are humorous, bitter, but contain wisdom.

One of my favourite quotes is, “Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

I have found his advice most liberating and truly worth following.

We often make our lives miserable our life is due to our hyperactive conscience.

I have seen people getting so much upset about what is happening in their nation and around the world. For example,

• Many people are upset that the Taliban has captured power in Afghanistan
• Many people are upset since a political leader that they hate is ruling their nation
• Many people are so unhappy because there are so much injustice and inequality in the world

We can find a million reasons to feel unhappy if we allow our conscience to be highly active because there are a billion wrong things happening in the world at every time.

We must rather ask ourselves:

• Are we responsible for all these problems?
• Are we willing to do something concrete to solve these problems?

If we are not going to do anything to solve these problems, there is no point worrying about these problems.

Instead, we must try to use our energy to solve those problems which are due to us, or which we are capable of solving and allow the other problems to be solved by the people who are actually facing them.

If we choose to carry the burden of the world on our shoulders, we might be crushed under its weight and make our life miserable, without being able to solve these problems.

Hence, it is better to allow your conscience to relax on all such issues which are beyond your zone of influence.

Mark Twain’s advice to have good friends and good books are also great.

When we have good friends, we can share our joys, sorrows and thoughts with them.

Good books help us navigate the world and understand the thoughts of the greatest minds of the world sitting in the comfort of our homes.

Good books are like good friends which can help us enjoy our life and also learn about life.

I find the advice of Mark Twain quite liberating and extremely helpful in leading a great life.

-Awdhesh Singh

Awareness

“I worked really hard and yet I failed”

This is one of the most common line I have ever heard from people.

Most people assume that one cannot achieve success despite putting in the hard work and success really depends on luck.

However the real problem is that most people cannot distinguish between manual labor and actual hard work.

Most people are stuck doing manual labor which fetches them no result.

Success on the other hand highly depends on what I call “High Impact Activities”.

A majority of people ignore these “High Impact Activities” because they are “Hard”.

Now don’t get me wrong, here hard activities does not mean they take effort, its just that they are least pleasant to do.

Hence people try avoiding these activities and focus all their energy and effort on low impact activities.

Lets take an example for both HIA and LIA:

In business context:

HIA: Cold calling customers, selling them products on the phone or reaching out to new customers, following up new leads.

LIA: Designing logo for your website, spending time to learn so called “productivity tips” from YouTube after wasting hours on designing the logo which you could have outsourced on fiver for $5.

In a student context:

HIA: Focusing on the most important yet hard topics and understanding them thoroughly.

LIA: Spending more time on easier topics, topics which you already know well.

In a newbie programmers context:

HIA: Working on a personal project which involves building something.

LIA: Reading and searching for answers on sites, deciding which code editor to use, debating on which programming language is better.

I hope this gives a clear idea of how High Impact Activities are different from Low Impact Activities.

If you compare them both, you will find that both of them take the same amount of effort to do.

However if you take a look at HIA, they are not very comfortable or pleasing to do.

Designing a logo for your business seems like a nice idea while cold calling a client sounds rough and hence people tend to deviate towards things that are of less importance just because they find pleasure doing them.

High performers on the other end know what activities would create the most impact for them and hence they are willing to do them irrespective of how un-pleasurable they are to do.

Doing hard work does not mean working like a donkey on some simple things.

Here is what hard work looks like:

1. Deciding and doing something which you know is not pleasurable but can give you the maximum results.
2. Taking risks in all walks of your life, switching careers if the current one does not pay you well.
3. Taking hard decisions, making a complete shift in the way you operate and think.
4. Taking responsibility, hiring people, or learning some new skill which can change the course of your career.
5. Being able to manage and make the most efficient use of your time.
6. Being consistent for years doing anything, be it at a business, learning new skills, or working out.
7. Doing something which you have never done before, or doing something where you are uncertain about the outcome.

These are the actual activities which can be termed as hard work.

The day you understand the difference between manual labor and real hard work is the day when your life would change completely.

-Saurav Sharma

Firstly, stop creating false beliefs in your mind