Their are some arguments that signal the end of a relationship as :

1. ARGUMENTS OVER LIFE GOALS

A long-term relationship usually involves two people who both respect each other’s goals and desire similar things out of life. In committed relationships, a couple has usually already discussed where their lives together are heading. They have a general idea of where they want to be, and that future always includes each other.

But suddenly, you’re starting to fight over your life goals. Your ambitions don’t seem to match up anymore. You find yourself wondering if you even can still see your partner in your future ten years ahead. If those goals don’t align anymore, you may no longer be compatible. Some affected goals may be:

• Where you want to live or work
• Whether you want children, and how many
• Religious or spiritual beliefs
• Financial management
• Lifestyle goals

Long-term couples don’t need to have everything in common when it comes to their future plans – but they should share a similar overview or idea of where they’re going. No amount of positive thinking will help you if you spend ten more years with someone, only to find that you reach an impasse after you’ve sacrificed so much to give in to their goals.

2. WHEN YOU ARGUE OVER INTIMACY

Many people discount the influence of intimacy over the health of a relationship. But since good intimacy is often about good communication, if your bond is breaking down outside of the bedroom, it won’t be long until it falls apart within the bedroom, too.

It’s not unusual for partners to have different interests, kinks, preferences, and libido levels when it comes to intimacy. But when you start to argue about your differences in the bedroom, you’re heading right for Splitsville. This also indicates that at least one of you is unsatisfied physically, which is not healthy and can cause romantic relationships to feel platonic.

Intimacy should come naturally. Neither partner should feel forced or guilty regarding what goes on – or doesn’t go on – in the bedroom. If you begin finding fault with each other’s bedroom habits, you are no longer physically compatible.

Physical communication is just as important as verbal communication. If you find yourselves stuttering and struggling in bed, you may have overlooked some serious relationship problems everywhere else.

-Jonathan S. Perkins

Narcissistic Female

She has an obsession with her appearance as well as a high level of materialism and superficiality.

This could also translate into a haughty sense of intellectual superiority, if the narcissist in question is more cerebral than somatic (focused more on her mind rather than her body).

As Christine Hammond, LMHC (2015), notes in her article, The Difference Between Male and Female Narcissists, the female narcissist “battles with other females for dominance” and while male narcissists use their charm along with their appearance to achieve their goals, “females use it to gain superiority.”

Female narcissists fit the ‘femme fatale’ stereotype quite well. Many of them are conventionally attractive and, much like the male somatic narcissist, use their sexuality to their advantage. Since females in our society are also socialized to objectify themselves, the female narcissist follows this social norm to use whatever physical assets she has to assert her power.

Hammond (2015) also observes that while males are more likely to obtain money, female narcissists tend to excessively spend it. This may result in a highly materialistic female narcissist who enjoys adorning herself with the best designer clothing, indulging in luxuries at the expense of her loved ones or allowing herself to be excessively catered to by a wealthy significant other. Female narcissists can also accumulate their own wealth and use it as an indication of her superiority as well.

For the more cerebral narcissist, the female in question might use her accumulation of credentials, degrees, and accomplishments to control and terrorize others. For example, a narcissistic female professor may routinely subject her students to hyper-criticism, bullying and cruel taunts under the guise of “constructive criticism,” usually targeting her most talented and brilliant female students in the classroom. This is because, despite her own expertise and position of power, she is still threatened by any other female whose intellect might surpass hers.

A blatant disregard for the boundaries of intimate relationships, including her own.

In keeping with typical narcissistic behavior regardless of gender, the female narcissist is likely to have a harem of admirers – consisting of exes that never seem to go away, admirers who always seem to lurk in the background and complete strangers she ensnares into her web to evoke jealousy in her romantic partner. She frequently creates love triangles with her significant other and other males (or females, depending on her sexual orientation). She rejoices in male attention and boasts about being the object of desire. She engages in emotional and/or physical infidelity, usually without remorse and with plenty of gas-lighting and deception directed at her partner, who usually dotes on her and spoils her, unaware of the extent of her disloyalty.

She also crosses the boundaries of her female friendships by attempting to “make a move” on the partners of her friends. She is disappointed and envious when her “seduction” falls flat or when her friends enjoy more attention from their partners than she does. To a baffled outsider, a female narcissist’s betrayal is incredibly hurtful and traumatizing – but to the observant eye, it is a clear sign of how far the female narcissist’s pathological sense of entitlement goes.

-Jonathan S Perkins

Let's start the year with talking about mental health

Symptoms of Depression 

1. Hopeless outlook

Major depression is a mood disorder that affects the way you feel about life in general. Having a hopeless or helpless outlook on your life is the most common symptom of depression.

Other feelings may be worthlessness, self-hate, or inappropriate guilt. Common, recurring thoughts of depression may be vocalized as, “It’s all my fault,” or “What’s the point?”

2. Lost interest

Depression can take the pleasure or enjoyment out of the things you love. A loss of interest or withdrawal from activities that you once looked forward to — sports, hobbies, or going out with friends — is yet another telltale sign of major depression.

Another area where you may lose interest is sex. Symptoms of major depression include a decreased sex drive and even impotence.

3. Increased fatigue and sleep problems

Part of the reason you might stop doing things you enjoy is because you feel very tired. Depression often comes with a lack of energy and an overwhelming feeling of fatigue, which can be among the most debilitating symptoms of depression. This could lead to excessive sleeping.

Depression is also linked with insomnia, as one might lead to the other and vice versa. They can also make each other worse. The lack of quality, restful sleep can also lead to anxiety.

4. Anxiety

While depression hasn’t been shown to cause anxiety, the two conditions often occur together. Symptoms of anxiety can include:

• nervousness, restlessness, or feeling tense
• feelings of danger, panic, or dread
• rapid heart rate
• rapid breathing
• increased or heavy sweating
• trembling or muscle twitching
• trouble focusing or thinking clearly about anything other than the thing you’re worried about

-Jonathan S Perkins

See this

Hints that your relationship is sucking the life out of you

1. You feel the need to spend time alone

If you feel like being alone is a breath of fresh air, it could be because your partner causes you a lot of stress and anxiety. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if this is the case so if you feel like you might emotionally abused, plan a vacation or a trip away and see if your anxiety levels lessen a bit.

2. You don’t trust yourself

You think that you’re being too dramatic or that you’re acting crazy. If you don’t trust yourself and your own decisions, it could be because your partner has brainwashed you into thinking you can’t be independent.

3. You Cry a lot

You cry about your relationship a lot. Happy and healthy partners don’t make each other cry. In fact, a loving partner will gladly be the shoulder you cry on when something is bother you, they are not the cause of that pain.

4. You think it will get better

You know that your relationship is not good right now but you’re always holding onto hope that it will get better. The only way for an abusive relationship to get better is to seek outside help. Abusers have a lot of baggage and their emotional stability cannot be solved on their own. They must be in therapy or counselling and ideally both partners are in counselling together. If your partner refuses to get outside help, it’s going to be impossible for him/her to change on their own.

5. You blame their actions on a disorder or illness

Just because someone is bi-polar, has depression, anxiety, anger management problem etc. doesn’t give them a free pass to be abusive. If they have an anger problem, that doesn’t mean they need to spew out insults or destructive language. Also, if they are experiencing some kind of disorder or illness that causes them to be abusive, they absolutely must be in therapy or taking medication in order to help this problem.

-Jonathan S Perkins

This is why you are not successful

Toxic Relationship

 1. Too Many Compromises

Often one-sided, if I may add.

Compromises are good, and if you want to build a healthy relationship, you must be ready to compromise. It might stink for a bit, but you made your partner happy and a few kisses later you’re totally fine with your choice.

However, while I’m saying that, I also want to add, that compromises shouldn’t conflict with your values, goals, dreams and overall wellbeing. They must be an exception.

That’s not the case with your partner, though. If you feel like you’ve been compromising for too long with too many things in your life, then that’s an indicator something’s not right.

In a toxic relationship, often the compromises are one-sided, and you feel like you’re going against yourself too much.

Is that your case?

2. Your Health Is Affected

Now, that’s something that not everyone will pay attention to.

However, if you are in a very toxic relationship, that’s literally what it happens – it poisons you and your mind. Sooner or later, your health gets worse. You feel depressed, low energised, lose or gain weight (depends on how your body reacts to stress). Your mental and physical health suffers from the toxicity in your life.

After the end of my last toxic relationship, I had lost so much weight that none of my clothes fitted me. I still keep a specific photo of me from that period, just to keep me aware that I should never again get myself into something like that.

3. You Feel You’ve Done Something Very Wrong

Have you got that weird feeling that you’ve done something horrible? That your choices aren’t leading you to the right place in life?

I had it.

I still remember how I sat down on the sofa in the living room and loudly asked myself: Is this how it’s going to be from now on? Is this how I will spend my life? Is this present also my future?

At this point, I panicked. I realised that if I have to spend the next 40 or 60 years of my life in this relationship, the way it was at that moment, I would be the most miserable and unhappier person I know. Right there and then, I decided that it’s time to break up with my partner.

Therefore, if you feel like something went very wrong with your life… you’re most likely in a toxic relationship.

Trust your guts.

-Jonathan S Perkins

 "You don't marry a man, you marry a lifestyle."

Who you marry has the largest impact not just on your emotional life, but also on your lifestyle.

Both the large and small things in your daily life and long term plans will be impacted by your significant other's likes, dislikes, habits, schedule, health, personality, moods, job stresses, financial security, family, and situation.

For instance, where will you live, and how clean will the house be? Who will be expected to clean up when it gets messy? What type of food will you eat, and who will cook it? How often will you go on vacations, and where will you go? What TV shows and movies will you watch, and how often? When the toothpaste or toilet paper runs out will your partner get more or expect you to run the errands?

How much sleep will you get? How many cars will you have, and will you lease or buy? Will you be in debt or have a large savings? How many children will you have and how will they be raised?

This decision on your lifestyle is only compounded once you have children. Will your partner chose to share in the child rearing, and what type of parent will they be? And expect you to be? Will your partner want you to stay home with the kids or work? Or let you make the decision? Will they expect you to make all the money or will they also share in the finances?

The only thing that changes your life, and your lifestyle more than your choice of life partner — is your choice to start a family with that partner.

Cornell University published a study with similar findings, and found that the most important elements of a successful marriage includes this knowledge of your partner and yourself:

Understanding what lies ahead for you and your partner is vital to charting a successful life together…But one of the most important types of knowledge, according to the survey, is an intimate understanding of the person you’ll be marrying. How they think, what they love and what they want from life can all be make-or-break issues for compatibility. That’s why it’s so important to know exactly who you’re marrying.

“Their strongest recommendation is to marry someone who is generally similar to you,” they explained elsewhere. “Marriage is difficult for anyone, but it’s much easier with someone who shares your interests, background and orientation.”

Ultimately, your partner’s values and expectations, both for themselves and for you, will make a bigger difference on your life and lifestyle than any other choice you make. Trust your gut, and marry someone who makes you feel better, and brings out the best in you. Choose someone who you enjoy being around, and who makes you a better person

Please hear me out on this. This is so important

I don’t see myself getting married anytime soon (if ever.) But I’ve experienced this first hand.

If you are a woman who is married, about to get married, or even dreams of getting married, please make sure you have an education or a means to make money.

I understand if you want to be a stay-at-home mom or not be the main source of income. Feminism is about giving you that choice, and if it’s what you truly want, have at it.

But please for the sake of your future-have a side business, or an education, or some form of a career you can jump into if need be.

So many marriages start out great and progress into something completely different.

Maybe the man you wouldn’t dream could hurt a fly has no trouble taking his anger out on you.

Maybe he cheats on you.

Or maybe after 20 years you two have grown so far apart you no longer see a future together.

This is where your education and career is important.

If you have no career or money prospects, you’re essentially betting your entire livelihood on one man.

I’ve seen women who stay in horrible, abusive situations and relationships, simply because they have no other option. They feel trapped and extremely unhappy…but it’s all they’ve got. They’re living out a nightmare.

And I want you to be able to leave a relationship if that’s what you need.

I don’t want you to feel trapped within your own life. Suffocated. I don’t want you to have to put up with anything less than what you are worth.

So please, Find a way to make money if need be.

And if your relationship is going well, you’re still not exempt from a similar horror. Maybe he becomes extremely ill and is unable to work or passes away. How are you going to provide for yourself and your family?

Life has many ways of falling apart. I want you to be prepared for a it.

So please, Find a way to make money!

This goes without mentioning the stress this puts the man under. Honestly I feel as though this is a huge reason why men have a shorter life-span. With the man being so pressed to make a living, he may continue in a job he despises, stay away from a career that has high earning potential because of the low starting income, or worse yet completely give up on his dreams in life. It has a cost for all within the family.

I wish money didn’t rule the world…but it truly does.

(Sorry for the depressing read, I just really think it’s something that needs to be said. And sometimes, the things we need to hear are not what we want to hear. But they are still important.)

Genius ?

It’s important not to completely ignore what others think of you.

But it’s just as important not to live your life trying to please everyone.

Society isn’t a single voice—it’s made up of countless people, each with their own opinions. No matter what you do or believe in, someone will always disagree or be upset.

There’s a powerful quote: “You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.” I completely agree with this. But I’d also like to add another thought: “You have friends? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

Real relationships—friendship, love, or respect—come only when you stand for something. If you always try to fit in or avoid conflict, you may never connect with people on a deeper level.

In truth, love and hate often come from the same place. The people who are most admired are often the ones who are also criticized the most.

Trying to please everyone is not only impossible—it can cost you your peace and sense of self.

What matters more is knowing how much to please other and how much to stand up for yourself. Make your choices with that in mind.

The key is to find a balance between staying true to yourself and being considerate of others. That balance is what leads to a meaningful and fulfilling life.

Here are some things to consider every time you worry about what others might think:

I believe in what I'm going to call the disappointment imperative. I am completely ready and willing to disappoint anyone who wants something for me that I don't want for myself.

People think about you less than you think. They have the audacity to be too preoccupied with themselves to be concerned about you. (I mean, sheesh.)

Why do people talk about others? Because tearing someone else down is evidence that you are unhappy with a part of your own life. The happier you are, the less you will criticize someone else, and the more empathy you will feel for what they are going through.

What someone says about you when they are unhappy with themselves is more about them than it is about you. As such, it's not ever a good guide for how to live your life. Don't make decisions based on what others might think or say. It will steer you wrong every time.

The busier you are working on you, your life and your happiness, the less time you will have to talk about others. And even better, the less time you will have to show any concern for what others say about you.

Most of all, I am a deeply flawed person. I have a lot of work to do and as such I have no time to waste.

-Dushka Zapata

If a cab driver makes more money than an IT professional, why should I study?

Let me talk about kids and young people and what can damage them the most

1. Long term emotional neglect. If you are neglected by caregivers — not touched, not treasured, not seen and barely noticed, your heart will die a little every day. You will either decide you have no value or you will do whatever it takes to get the attention you crave. Both will lead to disaster.
2. Long term emotional abuse. It sounds crazy, but this may be less damaging than complete neglect. It’s bad, but at least you are real and alive and seen. Still, like the neglected child, you may grow up to be hateful, abusive yourself, or you may seek out abusive relationships because that’s all you know.
3. Substance abuse in children and teens. This is much worse than for adults, because kids are wired to develop psychologically at a fairly rapid pace. Being stoned or drunk or high interrupts the course of development. We don’t get a second chance at childhood or adolescence, even if some of the damage can be repaired later.
4. Traumatizing experiences without adequate support. Long, serious illnesses, major accidents, and big losses like a nasty divorce, can interrupt healthy development. High conflict divorce is a double whammy because kids are hurt by parental conflict, and parents may disappear into their own issues, making matters worse.
5. Being different. Kids who feel different because they are too fat, or too slow, or too clumsy, or sexually different can really suffer. Often they get only generic pep talks that minimize their pain and sense of exclusion. In our evolution, being a member of the tribe meant survival, so kids long for it. Exclusion for long periods can be seriously damaging.

-David McPhee

Your concerns are really criticisms of me, and I hate being criticized

 1 : Your concerns are really criticisms of me, and I hate being criticized.

I can criticize others, and often do—but if you criticize me you’re hurting my feelings, so I’ll hurt you back. If you say you are at all unhappy, that's a way of indirectly criticizing me. Since "it's all about me" your feelings must be about what I have been doing. If you are talking about your feelings, even if they were engendered by situations at work or with friends that have nothing to do with me, I interpret your negative feelings as criticism of me.

Narcissists paradoxically manifest both an inflated idea of their own importance and quickness to feel deflated by negative feedback. Criticism hurts—and because narcissists think everything is about them, they hear others’ attempts to talk about personal feelings as veiled criticisms of themselves.

The clinical term for taking others' concerns as personal criticism is personalizing. "I'm feeling lonely," gets heard by someone who is narcissistic as an accusation: "You don't spend enough time with me."

2 : I'm right. You're wrong. So when things go wrong between us, it’s always your fault.

I can’t be expected to apologize or to admit blame. I’m above others and above reproach. If you expect me to say how I’ve contributed to a problem, I’ll get mad at you.

Unwillingness to take responsibility for mistakes may come from confusing the part with the whole, or all-or-nothing thinking. Narcissists think, "If I've done one thing that's not right, then I must be all bad"—which is why they're so resistant to admitting any wrong things at all. Whatever the source of the sensitivity to criticism and difficulty admitting mistakes, they have a tendency to blame others when anything goes wrong. Blaming and fault-finding in others feel safer to narcissists than looking to discover, learn, and grow from their own part in difficulties.

While narcissists are quick to blame, they may be slow to appreciate. Appreciation and gratitude require listening.

3 : I may be quick to anger—but when I get angry, it's because of you.

You made me mad. You didn’t listen to me. You criticized me. You’re trying to control me. Your view is wrong. So you need to apologize, not me. If I’m mad, it's because I'm frustrated by what you are doing. I'm only mad because of you.

Narcissists often show major charm and social agility. At the same time, these seemingly super-confident folks can be quick to anger. When they do become inflamed, they then immediately blame their anger on others.

-Jamie Knight

I love the quotes of Mark Twain

His quotes are humorous, bitter, but contain wisdom.

One of my favourite quotes is, “Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

I have found his advice most liberating and truly worth following.

We often make our lives miserable our life is due to our hyperactive conscience.

I have seen people getting so much upset about what is happening in their nation and around the world. For example,

• Many people are upset that the Taliban has captured power in Afghanistan
• Many people are upset since a political leader that they hate is ruling their nation
• Many people are so unhappy because there are so much injustice and inequality in the world

We can find a million reasons to feel unhappy if we allow our conscience to be highly active because there are a billion wrong things happening in the world at every time.

We must rather ask ourselves:

• Are we responsible for all these problems?
• Are we willing to do something concrete to solve these problems?

If we are not going to do anything to solve these problems, there is no point worrying about these problems.

Instead, we must try to use our energy to solve those problems which are due to us, or which we are capable of solving and allow the other problems to be solved by the people who are actually facing them.

If we choose to carry the burden of the world on our shoulders, we might be crushed under its weight and make our life miserable, without being able to solve these problems.

Hence, it is better to allow your conscience to relax on all such issues which are beyond your zone of influence.

Mark Twain’s advice to have good friends and good books are also great.

When we have good friends, we can share our joys, sorrows and thoughts with them.

Good books help us navigate the world and understand the thoughts of the greatest minds of the world sitting in the comfort of our homes.

Good books are like good friends which can help us enjoy our life and also learn about life.

I find the advice of Mark Twain quite liberating and extremely helpful in leading a great life.

-Awdhesh Singh

Awareness