Hints that your relationship is sucking the life out of you

1. You feel the need to spend time alone

If you feel like being alone is a breath of fresh air, it could be because your partner causes you a lot of stress and anxiety. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if this is the case so if you feel like you might emotionally abused, plan a vacation or a trip away and see if your anxiety levels lessen a bit.

2. You don’t trust yourself

You think that you’re being too dramatic or that you’re acting crazy. If you don’t trust yourself and your own decisions, it could be because your partner has brainwashed you into thinking you can’t be independent.

3. You Cry a lot

You cry about your relationship a lot. Happy and healthy partners don’t make each other cry. In fact, a loving partner will gladly be the shoulder you cry on when something is bother you, they are not the cause of that pain.

4. You think it will get better

You know that your relationship is not good right now but you’re always holding onto hope that it will get better. The only way for an abusive relationship to get better is to seek outside help. Abusers have a lot of baggage and their emotional stability cannot be solved on their own. They must be in therapy or counselling and ideally both partners are in counselling together. If your partner refuses to get outside help, it’s going to be impossible for him/her to change on their own.

5. You blame their actions on a disorder or illness

Just because someone is bi-polar, has depression, anxiety, anger management problem etc. doesn’t give them a free pass to be abusive. If they have an anger problem, that doesn’t mean they need to spew out insults or destructive language. Also, if they are experiencing some kind of disorder or illness that causes them to be abusive, they absolutely must be in therapy or taking medication in order to help this problem.

-Jonathan S Perkins

This is why you are not successful

Let me talk about kids and young people and what can damage them the most

1. Long term emotional neglect. If you are neglected by caregivers — not touched, not treasured, not seen and barely noticed, your heart will die a little every day. You will either decide you have no value or you will do whatever it takes to get the attention you crave. Both will lead to disaster.
2. Long term emotional abuse. It sounds crazy, but this may be less damaging than complete neglect. It’s bad, but at least you are real and alive and seen. Still, like the neglected child, you may grow up to be hateful, abusive yourself, or you may seek out abusive relationships because that’s all you know.
3. Substance abuse in children and teens. This is much worse than for adults, because kids are wired to develop psychologically at a fairly rapid pace. Being stoned or drunk or high interrupts the course of development. We don’t get a second chance at childhood or adolescence, even if some of the damage can be repaired later.
4. Traumatizing experiences without adequate support. Long, serious illnesses, major accidents, and big losses like a nasty divorce, can interrupt healthy development. High conflict divorce is a double whammy because kids are hurt by parental conflict, and parents may disappear into their own issues, making matters worse.
5. Being different. Kids who feel different because they are too fat, or too slow, or too clumsy, or sexually different can really suffer. Often they get only generic pep talks that minimize their pain and sense of exclusion. In our evolution, being a member of the tribe meant survival, so kids long for it. Exclusion for long periods can be seriously damaging.

-David McPhee

Love and Relationships

 Movies teach something very wrong on “Love and relationships “ especially Bollywood movies.

Yesterday I was talking to a friend . He was in a early stage relationship with a girl and then the girl changed her mind. My Friend has been deeply affected by this (some people are sensitive ). you can change the gender as well . There are so many such stories of our youth .

Our movies like Veer Zara , Kal Ho na Ho Or Aashiqui series or any romantic story you see they talk about Pure and unconditional love . Our youths follow movies religiously and yes, they have deep impact on our values while growing up .

I felt this has destroyed the lives of many .

Love unconditionally, but to those who deserve

Trust , but verify them

if someone wants to go, let them. If you hold back there will be many negative repulsions. Let them explore. It may happen that they may come back to you after failing . But let them try

When someone does not reciprocate , chill out . Be good friends. But expect nothing . Have a good life outside it . Remember nothing is worth your happiness

Do not be artificial, but be practical

There is nothing such as perfect person or perfect couple as people portrayed in social media. Love lies with in you . When your intention is clear, you will find it

Abinash Mishra , IAS , IIT KGP

No one cares about my Happiness And I Always Sacrifice my wants and needs................

Life is hard. Really hard. Finding my way takes grit and mostly means two things:

Making a distinction between what works for “everyone” and what works for me.

Finding the presence of mind to disappoint others in the name of standing up for myself.

People pleasing is disguised as generosity but really it’s avoidance. It’s constant, relentless escape from doing the hard work of not compromising myself.

The price is to not clearly understand who I am, to let people walk all over me, to feel full of bitterness and resentment and to wonder why I feel I am in the wrong life.

I am in the wrong life because if I people please I don’t understand how to set boundaries and constantly allow others to make decisions for me.

Love yourself. Love yourself enough to know you are worth not betraying yourself in the name of getting others to approve of you.

-Dushka Zapata