Imagine you don't like pizza.

 The guy you are dating really likes it so you say you love pizza to make him like you.

You don't like pizza and end up eating pizza often rather than speaking up.

You risk ending up angry at him for always picking pizza.

Your anger builds up. You can't see it now but you are not angry at him. You are angry at yourself.

This is people pleasing.

Now imagine you don't like pizza and all your friends like it. You say you don't like pizza, but you like spending time with them so decide that you can be flexible, that this time you can set your preferences aside to be accommodating.

That's being nice.

I understand how this can be a fine line but the first will make you feel used and resentful and diminished and the second will make you happy because you own where you stand and are being generous.

People pleasing is not about making things easier for others but rather involves compromising who you are. It means trying to make everyone happy at your expense and realizing that despite your effort it cannot be done.

It's a losing battle to play against yourself.

It's sacrificing you to such an extent you lose track of who you are.

That's not nice. Nice begins by being nice to yourself.

-Dushka Zapata