People will always say something, it's your job...............

There was a time when I had insecurities about myself. About my looks, behavior, gesture, family etc. When I was a kid I was hesitant about my family because they didn’t meet the standards of Indian soap opera. There was a huge difference between reality and pretentious people. But innocent kid’s mind was unable to differentiate the difference.

I would like to share one incident, when I was new to the corporate sector. I was attending the house warming ceremony of a very rich guy, who was a relative of my relative. I was hesitant, but my relative forced me to give him company.

When we reached there, to be honest, I was the odd man out. If someone would have mistaken me there for a waiter, I would have not minded because waiters had better attire than I. I was hell embarrassed and I had no guts to make eye contact with people around. I was hoping for an earthquake to escape from my embarrassment.

It was final nail in the coffin, when my relative forced me to talk to the owner of the house. Though he was a nice guy, I could miserably understand his humor.

He asked, “What do you do?”

“I am an engineer sir”, I replied.

And he sarcastically said, “Which platform do you work for?”

I knew it was the old joke about the beggar and software engineer. But I humbly replied, I work on Java.

To which he replied, “Those days are not far away when beggars will say the same.”

It was not funny, but people around him started laughing at his joke like sycophants, as their annual appraisal depends on him.

I really felt bad in front of so called modern and civilized people.

                No, if you think that this incident changed me and I started loving myself then let me burst your bubble, you are entirely wrong.

Let me tell you one more incident. When my girlfriend introduced her best friend to me. Her best friend was delighted to meet me. She greeted me with biryani even though we had handful of time.

And when I left, she said,

“I have no idea why she(My girlfriend) fell in love with that guy, he has no personality, no family background like yours.”

He is a nice guy, good for dating. But certainly he is not marriage material.

No. Stop thinking. She didn’t say these things to my girlfriend. She conveyed this message to the parents of my girlfriend.
 

Yeah!!!

No matter what you do, you will be judged. Even if you are Obama or Putin, you will be judged.

Their own life is hell, but they have clear idea of how you should lead your life. And our mind, it is easily influenced by others.

And that’s where you start leading a miserable life, you end up living someone else’s life.

There's nothing wrong with taking advice and learning from others, but make sure it aligns with your desires and passions. — Paulo Coelho

This is your life, what you have, others might not have and the same goes for them.

I realized I cannot change my personality, I cannot change my family background, I cannot change what I have. But one thing I can change, i.e. “ME.”

I can change myself, and that’s what I have done. I started appreciating what I have.

And it brought lots of positivity around me. After all, it's your life, it's one life. Either you can end up living your entire life with your insecurities or you can choose to ignore people’s opinion.

“Kuch to log kahenge, logo ka kaam hai kahna” (People will always say something, it's your job to ignore them)

-Rana Ashish