Signs of Abusive & Manipulator Partner

1. They have different masks for different people. In public, they are nice, friendly, sweet and supportive. Behind closed doors, they are abusive, angry, insulting and demeaning. It’s almost as if you are talking to a completely different person.
2. In a heated argument, they will throw you deepest insecurities in your face. Ex. weight, financial instability, divorce, child’s death, etc. Nothing is off limits for them. They need to inflict harm and remain victorious. They will use ANY means possible to achieve it.
3. They solely care about their needs. What you can do for them. They expect you to meet them on short notice (hey let’s hang out. Can you meet me in 15?) Or they will pressure you into something you are not comfortable with (hey let’s go to my place, I got wine. Come on and you HAVE to stay over! No buts!)
4. They aren’t available during your time of need though. (hey I called you and texted you, is everything okay? After three days, you hear “I’ve been busy.”) If they do pick up, they will cut the call as soon as possible, heavily implying that you are inconveniencing them.
5. If in a relationship, all problems are to be solved with sex. They will push you to having sex even if you don’t want to. But be careful enough, to ensure that “you wanted it.”
6. Drains you mentally. They provide no support, no appreciation, care or accountability. They view you as a human garbage can, just unloading everything onto you, and when they are done, just leaving you. You as a person don’t matter to them.
7. Power control. This person always needs to keep you insecure, and feel beneath them. So they will casually poke fun about your insecurities on a regular basis. Ex. If you’re a bit on the heavy side, they will poke your stomach and say “you look pregnant.” Or if you are self conscious about your age they will say “who is going to marry you now? You are nearing 30. When will you have kids?” It doesn’t seem like a direct insult, but it’s enough to make you feel insecure about yourself. These actions are intentional.
8. Me, myself and I. You rarely find yourself able to talk around them. They are going 100 miles an hour, talking about themselves without once even asking “how are you?” as a basic formality. You don’t matter, and simply a space holder for them.
9. They are quick to apologize. But it’s not a genuine apology. No, it’s just a temporary fix. They slapped on a tiny bandage, so you would stop complaining and let them resume with their nonsense. Remember it’s not about you, but them.
10. These people will drain you of every ounce of energy you have, if you allow it. Then when you finally put your foot down, they will play themselves as the victim. How you severed the relationship or how selfish you are. It’s a mirror reflection of who they are as a person. Don’t fall for it. Leave as soon as you can.

-Waheda Islam, B.S. (Criminal Justice & Writing), John Jay College of Criminal Justice

{Blogger's Note : If any(or all) of the above point seems normal to you then be sure Either you were raised up in toxic environment thats why you consider them as a part and parcel of a relation OR  You are currently being abused and manipulated in a relation and you are trying to shut off your inner voice which screams at you. So you are forcing yourself to consider all these as normal but its not }