5 Reasons Narcissists Try to Dictate Your Emotions
- One-Mindedness—This is the belief that there can be only one correct point of view or appropriate way to feel—their way. If you feel differently than they do, they tend to interpret this as a criticism of them.
- Lack of Emotional Empathy—It is inconvenient for people with NPD that you have emotions. Their response to you expressing your emotions and wanting attention or sympathy range from boredom to fury.
- Selfishness—They find it inconvenient that you have any emotions other than the ones that they think you should have.
- Desire for Control—Narcissists may experience you expressing your real emotions whenever you want to as a challenge to their control of the relationship.
- Oversensitivity to Perceived Slights—Nothing is neutral. Everything you do and say about your feelings is looked at by most Narcissists as either enhancing their self-esteem or attacking it. If you express an emotion that they do not like, they take it as an attack on them.
Punchline: Being a Narcissist is a full time job. Everything you do in their presence that they cannot control, including having emotions, has the potential to make Narcissists feel invalidated and anxious. And when they get anxious, they ramp up their use of their narcissistic defenses. Dictating what emotions other people should feel makes them feel more in control and less anxious.
-Elinor Greenberg, PhD
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