Everyone Likes Me.........

If I behave like a people pleaser, I am constantly trying to make others happy.

Do not be lured by how benevolent and considerate that sounds. It’s a trap and often we set it for ourselves.

The fact is people pleasing is not altruistic.

A people pleaser aims to make others happy in exchange for being liked, approved of, or popular.

I tell myself and others I am interested in one thing (I’m so “nice”! so generous!) while trying to obtain another(please, please like me.)

People pleasing does not come from a place of magnanimity and selflessness. It comes from a place of manipulation.

When I am acting like a people pleaser what I am doing is attempting to control the emotions of others.

Making everyone happy is a futile undertaking. It cannot be done. Different people want different things, and even the same people want different things.

It’s so difficult and absorbing and time consuming to chase how to make others happy that it erases me.

I lose my own personality, preferences and identity in the barren pursuit of getting approval from erratic people I cannot control or predict and who are paying attention to themselves and not to me.

Then I wonder why I feel so lost, why I don’t know what I want and why nobody likes me.

I would much rather not meet your expectations of me.

-Dushka Zapata