Work Life Balance

If you care about work-life balance, you’re never going to make it anywhere near the top in any profession.

You can have one or the other, but you simply can’t have BOTH.

It’s something nobody likes to hear. But it’s the plain unvarnished truth.

What's even more?

This thing we like to deride as ‘the rat race’? Yeah guess what, that so-called ‘rat race’ is the mother of every great advancement in civilization.

1. Pertinent now to the first point (i.e. reaching the top of a profession). When my father had established his independent practice as a successful attorney (working 12–14 hour days six days a week for several years), he started hiring junior lawyers, men and women straight out of law school in their twenties.
   
   And one day he said to me about one of his juniors “He leaves every day at 6 p.m. to be with his wife and kids. I can tell right away that he’ll never have his own legal practice, he’ll always work for a senior attorney.”It sounded rather harsh to me, but the man was right both with respect to that junior (he worked for my father for over a decade, while ambitious juniors would learn the trade and leave within 2–3 years) as well as in general.
2. Onto the second point now. We have a culture in which working long hours is looked down upon and work-life balance is seen as a wiser choice, if not the holy grail. All major advances in society and civilization come from people who don’t give a damn about work-life balance.It isn’t about money. The top scientists who publish the most papers, work like mad. Because it’s a straight-up race between research groups. We all know that successful entrepreneurs put in an ungodly amount of work hours but pick any profession. Law, science, medicine, business, finance, sports, politics. Any. Those athletes you see in the finals at the Olympics? Yeah, guess how much ‘work-life balance’ they had growing up!
   
   We often pity or even laugh at these people who work crazy hours as if their priorities were all messed up - all of our fantastic technologies and inventions, great research discoveries, creative breakthroughs, successful businesses come from these souls who couldn’t care less about having a personal life.

It’s not rocket science, but a simple equation -

No matter how talented or brilliant you may be, at some point in the latter rounds of the competition you are up against people just as smart as you and willing to work like mad.

Then what? Tell me how are you going to beat them if you care about work-life balance? It's like entering the boxing ring with one hand tied behind your back - your opponent will pound your face into hamburger.

No, go home and be well with your family, enjoy your balanced life, because you’re out of this race already.

This isn’t to say that people who choose to have a work-life balance are making a foolish decision. No. To each his/her own priorities.

But people need to understand that this fashionable thinking about having it all, is plainly unrealistic.

You know, I see corporations and employers increasingly pitching their best quality to new young hires as work-life balance. And when I hear that, the first thing I think is “They’re setting these people up to never reach the top.” As an interviewer when I ask a candidate why s/he wants to come work with us and s/he says “Because you guys offer a great work-life balance.”, I may hire them but I know right away this person isn’t advancing beyond a certain point. My professional advice to young and ambitious people starting out in any profession is “Work-life balance ought to be the last thing on your mind.”

I often say,

“Thank goodness for the minority of souls who don’t care about work-life balance. Because it is they who advance the human race in every sphere. The history of the world is the history of work.”

 -Allen Lobo  (MBBS-Nagpur University, MD-Nagpur University,MBA-University of North Carolina,PhD in Molecular Physics -University of Pennsylvania)

Unhealthy relation with self........

I don’t think we have the most unhealthy relationship with ourselves.

What I think is our relationship with ourselves sets the tone for every other relationship.

I try to be the person others want me to be, instead of the person I really am.

I believe every story my ego spins. That I’m not enough, that I’m stuck, that other people have better lives than mine.

I try to look for success and fulfillment outside of myself: a better house, a better car, a good husband. I will value myself when I get promoted. I will value myself when I have children.

If I look for people who can save me, fix me or approve of me I am likely to feel stuck or like I have no control over what happens to me. I feel overwhelmed and approach my relationships with despair.

If I don’t know how to set boundaries I cannot respect the boundaries of another, since I don’t understand them and interpret them as a form of rejection.

If I disregard my own feelings I am likely to show little empathy for the feelings of another.

If I don’t take responsibility for myself, my decisions, my actions, I blame others for my circumstances and become increasingly powerless and bitter.

If I make commitments to myself and fail me, I am likely to fail others.

Self love - asking myself what I can give to myself, questioning my own stories, assuming full responsibility for everything I am, following through on the promises I make to myself - will recast everything.

-Dushka Zapata

Life is Unfair

I have always been considered as a grinder, or in words of one of my seniors “unproductive ghissu” i.e. someone who works too hard for too less. It’s a tag that pinches me a lot, but it’s not completely untrue.

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While I was preparing for JEE, I saw many people playing, enjoying and having fun. Everyone in my hostel went to play CS, I didn’t. I wanted to make up for my lack of intelligence with my hard work, as even then I knew about my limitations. And yet, I couldn’t clear the exam by a considerable margin. Whereas, those who studied much less got through. I felt it was unfair!

But I tried again, made sure that I worked harder this time. Stayed at my home and spent 14–16 hours studying everyday while all my friends had joined a college. Kept working harder and kept getting better. And eventually, made it in my second attempt. After joining IITR, I found there were many more droppers who used to tell me that they didn’t study hard in their first attempt, some had family issues, some had health issues. When they asked me what was my reason, I used to say I had no reason, I gave my best but wasn’t good enough.

Was life fair to all of them? No!

Because they too faced some other problems, but in the end we all made it.

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When I started studying, I again had to put in extra hours to keep up with everyone. It was then when I gained the tag of “ghissu” i.e. someone who keeps studying. I won’t say I was ok with the tag, because it felt derogatory. Most of them had no idea how tough it gets when you grasp things slowly. But I continued working hard and continued making myself better. A dropper asked me once-

“Why are you still working hard? You’ve made it here now. Just relax and have fun.”

And I told him-

“I know what I had to go through to get here, now I wish to make the most of my chance.”

Even though it felt unfair that I had to study harder and endure some stupid tags, but in the end I was among the top-4 of my batch and among the only 2 to get an intern in the first top company for our branch. I was realizing that rewards come slowly, but surely.

---

Due to free-fall of oil industry, our core-companies refused to come to campus. This meant that all my grades and previous interns had zero value now as I had to apply for a non-core job. Feeling of unfairness loomed large again.

I had 4 months to prepare for a non-core job and I was up to the task. Cleared all the aptitude tests and made it to 6 interviews in the first 5 days. Got rejected in all 6.

1st interview: Reached top-22. Screwed up in the 2nd round.

2nd interview: Reached top-16. Then it was a 1 on 2 interview (1 interviewer, 2 candidates). The other candidate was one of the institute topper. He was better in everything and deservedly got through.

Later I got to know that I was supposed to be paired with another person who had the same surname. I got the wrong pairing because of same surname confusion. Cursed my luck.

3rd interview: Wasn’t good enough!

4th interview: Got into top-8 and 6 were to be selected. Gave the interview of my life. List was announced, I was the 7th one.

Later I was told that some guys who got selected were not even in the initial shortlist (Internal setting helped them and f****d me). Cursed my luck again.

5th interview: Reached top-5. They interview 4 people and got the candidates they wanted. I was the only one who wasn’t interviewed.

6th interview: Cleared 4 rounds. Was sleepy and hungry because of lack of rest and food. Rejected again!

Life felt unfair!

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I got through in my 7th attempt and was placed in a startup. Work was shit and so was the company. The segment I was working for shut-down in 3 months. Life seemed to suck big time.

In the next 45 days, I got only 2 interviews and I cracked them. 1st one turned out to be a fraud company and the 2nd one offered me half of what I was earning in my first job. I was also informed about an interview with a big MNC, but somehow they never called again. I almost gave up, because you know, life can be unfair.

---

But a week before my joining, an opportunity arrived. And I made sure that I didn’t let it go. And that opportunity again made me realize that rewards come slowly, but surely. (From Schlumberger -> Uber)

I always remember the tags given to me in college, but I also know that inspite of being less productive than them, I have made it with just my hard work. Life has never been always fair. But I’ve never let it dictate the terms of my life.

There are people who have worked harder than me and yet are struggling more. There are some whose problems are far more bigger. Infact, when I see them, I realize life has actually been so fair to me. My perspectives have kept on changing with time. The clarity goes away when everything goes wrong. But I try to remind myself that life is not going to be fair always. Not just to me, but with everyone else.

So what can you do about it?

Sit and wait for it to magically become fair?

Or keep fighting your luck and force it to kneel down before you and accept its defeat?

-Anshul Sharma

How I got selected for SSC CGL, SSC CHSL and Railways ALP (Allahabad zone)?

How I got selected for SSC CGL, SSC CHSL and Railways ALP (Allahabad zone)

So I never thought I would write this kind of post but now I am writing this for the sake of those students who think that there is no ray of hope.

Before I proceed forward I would like to mention those exams in which I got kicked out from the final list.

· Chsl ( 0.25 marks)

· Tis hazari court ( could not go to attend interview )

· Scientific Assistant IMD ( don’t remember the marks now )

· Allahabad high court, Assistant Review Officer ( 5 to 7 marks )

· Allahabad high court, Clerk ( don’t remember the marks now )

These are the exams where I got disqualified from the last stage.

There are many reasons for my disqualification one that I remember is less marks in Tier II for CHSL. The reason I remember CHSL is because this was the first exam I qualified and I was so sure that I will make to the final list.

Now let me come to year 2017 and SSC released its notification for CGL and as usual I filled the form and started preparing for it. I dedicated my time properly and kept working on all four section which are REASONING MATHS ENGLISH and GK. Everything went fine and I took mains examination the paper of mathematics was really tough but I kept my nerve cool and tried to score good marks in English.

Then come the Court case and you all know what happened.

After all on 15 November 2019 I was checking my phone ever second to know any update about the result, time was passing very slowly every minute was like a year. I was really stressed in the evening went out for a walk but all I was doing is to check my phone every moment. 

After 9:30 pm when SSC did not upload the result I came back room and went to my bed. I was half sleep when my phone vibrated I show It was my friend he sent me a photo on Telegram and said there is only one SARANSH KAUSHAL, is it you just check your roll number and confirm it. Then I rechecked the roll number and It was mine.

I told my roommate that I got selected and then he told me that my post is Tax assistant I was really happy after all I got something. Then I made phone call to my mother and told her. My parents were really happy, and deep inside I was even happier to know that I am the reason for their happiness.

Well this was the story of my selection in SSC CGL.

For CHSL and ALP, I will write that some other time.

My book list for SSC CGL, CHSL and Railway ALP - What was my book list for Ssc Cgl and Chsl and Railway Alp

-Saransh Kaushal 

{Bloggers Note:Check syllabus and pattern of the exam. Take other toppers into consideration also, before buying the books in the given link .}

It was a normal sunday for everyone but it changed the lives of 4 medical students forever

It was a normal sunday for everyone but it changed the lives of 4 medical students forever.

We are posted in the medicine department for this month. One of the doctors called us today to attend the icu and emergency.

We went to the hospital at 5pm. First, we went to the ICU. We asked the doctor to show us the history and ecg of the patients with Myocardial infarction. He opened the file of a patient in bed number 9. He explained the signs and symptoms and taught us the pecularities of ecg of MI patients. When he was explaining the treatment, the patient started to have convulsions. We were panicked. But the doctor immediately started giving cardiac massage and nurse injected in a few drugs. Convulsions stopped. He measured his bp. He was hypertensive. Ecg was done again. It showed recurrent Myocardial infarction. The doctor explained the relatives, they need to do an angiography soon, and accordingly angioplasty or bypass had to be done. But, the main problem was money! Everything would cost around 1 lakh rupees. But poor people are given MAA card, and with that card they can get all the treatment for free. The patient was 75 year old. He didn't have a card. And his family was extremely poor. They all were extremely worried about the expenses. The procedure had to be done within a few days. And it was difficult for them to arrange this amount of money. And if money couldn't be arranged, the patient will not survive long.

There was this another lady who was suffering from carcinoma of lungs. It was last stage. She didn't have enough money to get a treatment from any fancy cancer hospital. Thus, she was there all alone in an icu bed of a civil hospital waiting for her death.

One thing we realised is the importance of money. We say, that money can't buy everything in this world. But here, money is the deciding factor for life and death. If they could arrange the money, patient's life would be saved otherwise noone can save him from death.

For most of us, 1 lakh rupees is just amount with which we can buy a scooty or an iphone or a laptop. But for some, this amount can decide their life or death! Money is extremely important and though money can't buy you everything, but it can surely buy all the necessary things.

Thank you

-Thirak Vaishnav  (Pursuing MBBS)

Others success

Several years ago, a puzzle was given to us.

The teacher drew a line on the board and asked the following question.

“Can you make this line smaller without touching it?”

We thought about it for quite some time, but could not figure out the way to make the line smaller without touching it.

Then teacher did something which we never expected.

He drew a bigger line parallel to this line and asked the question.

“Which line is smaller now?

The answer was obvious.

The same line became smaller without touching it.

This is precisely what happens when other people succeed while we remain where we are.

We become unsuccessful in the relative term when they succeed, becoming better than us.

While we don’t mind other’s success, we surely feel bad when we are unsuccessful or when we fail.

It is only natural to feel bad when we fail.

It is for this reason that most people don’t like other’s success.

However, there are a small number of people who feel happy when others succeed.

Instead of feeling any animosity for those successful people, they befriend them and learn from them the secrets of success.

They are motivated by their successes and strive to work harder to do their best so that they not only equal their success but also surpass them.

I have always developed friendships with the people who had been better than me in life.

It is only thanks to such people, that I worked extra-hard and achieved something in life.

They had been my gurus and motivators.

I am always thankful to them for being part of my life and lifting me due to their brilliance and successes.

-Awdhesh Singh

Wealthy Children are Advantaged

In terms of resources and opportunities, they may be advantaged. But from many other perspectives, NO, they aren't. Rather in my eyes, wealthy children are highly disadvantaged.

How?

Look. There are certain highly satisfying moments and experiences in life which I think only those can experience who were not born rich but earned money later on in life.

And these moments and experiences make you feel so accomplished and happy that it can't be put in words.

Some of these experiences are:

• To see the happiness on the face of your parents when they sit for the first time in their own car. They were being pushed in local transport before this.
• To see tears of joy and a child-like vigor in your parents when you get your first home. Those who were born in their own home can never get this experience.
• Listening to the stories of your own childhood when the resources were not enough and your family couldn't afford much. How you survived and reached where you are today. Makes you feel like a winner already. I don't think that resourceful children can ever know how good and satisfying that feels.

I can write a list of such experiences but I guess you got the idea.

So, when god gifted them with money and resources (which can be earned later on in life), he took away these priceless experiences which no money can buy.

What do you think now, who is advantaged. :)

-Chandresh Mahajan,AIR- 37 GATE-2014 (First Attempt),B.Tech-Kalinga Institute of Industrial Technology

CSE/IT Engineer from private college or Other Branch Enigneer from Top colleges, what will a TOP IT Company choose and why?

I have done a fair bit of recruiting for Engineering Talent. These are my observations.

1. Going to Campuses take a lot of energy and time. Hence companies find it easier to go to a few Top level colleges to meet their Talent requirements.

2. In India at the time of deciding a college most students are willing to let go of a branch of their choice to get into a college of their choice. This means that all the top talent is concentrated in these very colleges. Their branch choice was a matter of a difference in rank here or there.

3. Skills are transient in nature. High quality candidates with the drive to do well will always be able to pick up new skills on the go. Hence companies are willing to put their bets on a student from a Top level college. This has been proven time and again in the output at the workplace.

4. Finally and most importantly whenever Companies have spread their net wide to look at students from a variety of colleges they have been mostly disappointed. The students have not made an effort to pick up relevant skills. If you are not from a known college then you have to possess outstanding skills to be considered.

-Rimy Oberoi

Children

I was beaten mercilessly more times than I can count. And I never felt bad for myself to be honest. I didn't think it affected me much. However, an incident happened that made me realise how it had twisted my views.

A few years back, my parents had their most aggressive fight in front of me.

Let me tell you first that my father was never abusive. If anything my mother is the more aggressive one. There has never been any domestic violence in our house.

But in that fight, for the first time, there was.

All I remember is my mother yelling incredibly demeaning things at my father and telling him that he's not even a man, etc…

My father told her to shut up, but she kept going and her insults got even worse. He would repeat that she needs to stop talking and she pressed further.

And for the first time, he pushed her down and beat her.

And I stood there, not feeling a thing. No anger, no sadness, no contempt, nothing. Just looked at it as if it's the most normal thing ever.

The beating wasn't hard and it lasted for a minute. Then mama rushed to our room (me and my siblings) and yelled “what were you all doing when you witnessed this happening? This is how you defend your mother when someone lays a hand on her?”.

I asked myself the same thing. What's wrong with you Salma? You're completely against domestic violence. You know there is no excuse for it. So why were you so numb?

But the scene was awfully familiar. Us speaking rudely to my mother and her beating us for dear life because we provoked her. How is that any different? Because it was done under the name of disciplining?

I scared myself by how I didn't find what happened bad to the degree I should.

And that was the first time in my life I swore that I won't beat my children. I won't make violence their norm in their eyes.

---

p.s: my parents made up afterwards and my father never repeated it again

-Salma Medina

Specialization in BE/ME that will be in demand for next 15 Years

It is not any specialization. All skills have a half life , ie how long will it take after 1/2 of the skill that you have is not useful. Generally the half life of many computing skills is about -3 years, Mechanical engineering is about 5–6 years.

The one item that will be in demand in 10 years is your

“ability to take a vague and ill defined problem, identify the underlying (as opposed to stated) need and actual (as opposed to stated) constraints (social thinking skill) , convert it into a proper hypothesis/need statement (critical thinking) and then craft a solution (using your combination of special skills and experience) and then defend your solution to your peers or others (communication and critical thinking and debating skills)”

If you dont have this, no specific skill will help you survive.

So rather than trying to anticipate what will be useful (we are very poor at judging this), you need the ability to learn a new skill and upgrade throughout your life: for this you need to have a strong conceptual foundation (ie ability to reuse ideas in many different contexts) and a very healthy curiosity, boldness and discipline to learn new things.

5 years ago I was convinced that MATLAB was going to dominate the engineering world…..well Ive now switched everything to Python, who knew….

I dumped 20 years of matlab expertise. But it was not a waste, I used my matlab skills to abstract the ideas and use them in Python. Ie from matlab I figured out “what I needed to do”, then, thanks to Stack Overflow I learnt how to do it in Python (thanks folks and I am perfectly willing to take the abuse if you teach me something). Eventually I started thinking “natively” in python and found better ways.

As computers and AI develops, specific skills will become less relevant.

I *hope* that eventually AI will be used to assist humans with the routine tasks (ie the star-trek model) and not the other way round (the Matrix/Terminator Model)

Hopefully AI would lead at worst to cyborgs and not robots.

-Arun Srinivasa,PhD UC Berkeley

I am certainly bothered about......

I am certainly bothered about what people say about me.

I don’t do anything deliberately to receive a negative feedback from the people.

However, I also know that we see the world not as it is, but as we are.

The perception of every person is different because each person is different.

It is, therefore, not possible for anyone to do anything or even say anything without brushing someone on the wrong side.

People like you when you do what they like, and dislike you as soon as you don’t follow their wish.

In this way, you become slave to the all the people whom you are trying to please.

Unfortunately, if you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing none.

Instead, we must stand on our principles, whether someone likes it or not.

A principled person attracts only the people of principles and thus he is protected from the shallow and selfish people of this world.

And all relationships based on principles last long because they are not based on mutual exploitation.

Is not a great blessing it itself?

Even if you make some enemies for standing on your principles, you are happy and proud of it.

It is better to get rid of such people as early as possible.

Winston Churchill has said it so wisely, “You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

A botheration that comes due to standing for principles is worth bothering for

-Awdhesh Singh