I Love Everything About That Person

I can say I love everything, everything about a person before I get to know them well.

This is because I love who I imagine them to be, not who they actually are.

As I get to know them, who they truly are begins to replace my fantasy. And then, ugh. I love them, but they are irritating, annoying, selfish, thoughtless, whatever.

Because, why are they who they are, instead of what I thought?

Why do they love me how they love, instead of how I imagined they would?

Why don’t they do what I expected?

And, even worse, why are they so disappointed with my inability to be who they thought I was?

Be careful when you say you love everything about a person. 

Make sure that who you love is the other, and not your fabulous overactive imagination. Because, that’s not romantic love.

That’s projection, and it’s what we do.

-Dushka Zapata

Lessons

Three stories to begin with:

1. Nokia refused Android
2. Yahoo refused Google
3. Kodak refused digital cameras

Lessons:

1. Take risks
2. Embrace change
3. If you refuse to change with time, you will be obsoleted

Two more stories:

1. Facebook takes over WhatsApp and Instagram
2. Grab takes over Uber in South East Asia

Lessons:

1. Become so powerful that your competitors become your allies
2. Reach the top position and then eliminate the competition
3. Keep innovating

Two more stories:

1. Colonel Sanders founded KFC at the age of 65
2. Jack Ma, who couldn't get a job at KFC, founded Alibaba, and retired at 55

Lessons:

1. Age is just a number
2. Only those who keep trying will succeed

Last but not the least:

Lamborghini was founded as a result of the revenge of a tractor owner who was insulted by Enzo Ferrari, the founder of Ferrari

Lessons:

Never underestimate anyone, ever!

✔️Just keep working hard

✔️ Invest your time wisely

✔️ Don't be afraid to fail

You Star Loosing Friends When You Become More Successful in Life. Really ?

  The simple answer is: Yes.

 

But for a different reason than you expect.

It is not because you are turning into a jerk that doesn't need these people anymore, but rather because you realize that the people you considered “friends” are keeping you down.

  

They keep thinking the same thoughts, taking the same actions, doing the same things that keeps leading them to the same results. These are results that you have outgrown.

  

Sticking around these people makes it so that you fall back into old habits, become more like them, model them and then create similar results to them. Meaning: You become who you used to be again.

 

While that is not a bad thing, it’s most of the time not something people want.

 

They have worked hard to get where they are and keeping old friends around means going back into old habits they’d rather avoid.

You outgrow them, that is all.

 

But they will also notice that and will feel less connected to you.

They will tell you you’ve changed, will blame you for whatever they can, and often try to bring you back to their level not out of spite or jealousy, but rather to feel better about their own life.

 

It is for those reasons that the friendships you used to have stop being as important as they used to be, and, over time, you loose the interest to put in the effort to keep these people in your life.

 

But you will find others that are on a similar path to you that will push you to be your greatest, test your limits and keep trying to raise you up as they raise themselves.

 

There are various reasons why you may loose friends, but the general idea is that in creating a different life you create different interests and people do not wish to keep you as a reminder of where they could be.

It is for that that, as by a self-fulfilling prophecy, you loose the connections you used to have.

 

But, in my opinion, that does not devalue those relationships at all. They have given you a lot of amazing moments, and sometimes it is time to let things go.

 

You will loose a lot of friends on your journey to success, and have to sacrifice many things, but often for other, better things.

It is a give and take, and, overall, it is a much better trade-off than you can imagine!

 

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something better will take it’s place.” - Lance Armstrong

   

    -Lukas Schwekendiek

Regardless Of Its Size, Your Invention is Supposed to...........

 

Regardless of its size, your invention is supposed to solve a big problem to have made millions, right? Mr. Ken Ahroni knew that. He solved a big problem. Why are you able to made only one wish per turkey? In order to solve this problem, he started a company (LuckyBreak) and produced fake wishbones. His company reports sales of over $2.5 million each year. He actually needed to solve plenty of problems for that product.

• Safety - No shards of plastic that could injure someone
• Appearance - It had to look like a real wishbone
• It had to break unpredictably
• It had to sound right when it snapped

He said, he exported to about 10 countries. “But our best story is that we've exported twice to Turkey. Turkey wishbones to Turkey”

During an interview, He said some people compare his business with “pet rock” which was tremendously successful for its basic concept. He said:

“It’s not like the pet rock because I say 'where is the pet rock today?’"

Not a bad idea actually.

  

 -George Smith

Here particularly I will talk about Engineering. How to choose a branch and college to have a great career.

1. Choose branch over College. Because you have to spend 20–30 years of career in that branch. Some Branches like Computer science , Electronics have huge market demand whereas so called Evergreen branches like Mechanical, Civil have become saturated and obsolete
2. Work on Cutting edge technologies where lies the job like AI, big data or machine learning have huge demand in future market.
3. Future of Jobs will be multidisciplinary like a Computer science engineer would be working in Life sciences or psychology. So always broaden your perspective. If you want to be an entrepreneur this is a must
4. When you get into IIT or NITs or any other colleges you have to start from 0. You are competing with equals. So always work on yourself. This is just beginning of your journey.
5. Build network. If you want to go ahead along with skills you need network. You can see this easily in college placement or funding of startups. Always build network based on your competence. This ensures long term relationship.
6. Keeping aside the College study focus on what you want to pursue in career in long run. Invest time in that. College is the best time to begin it
7. Keep a hobby. Pursue it. Soft skills help to build network. You will realize this later
8. Work on Interpersonal skills. Hard skills or engineering skills are one thing, but if you want to go to the top of the ladder then Soft skills help you a big way.

For more you can go through My YouTube Abinash Mishra

Do You Get What You Pay For in Luxury Items?

 

Basically anything in the luxury brand category.

Whether it’s Rolex watches, Louis Vuitton bags, Montblanc fountain pens, etc. they are all extremely expensive but don’t do as good a job at their core function as a cheap $10 variant.

The reason is because, unless you’re made of money and throw $100,000 down the drain without a second thought, these products are so expensive that you end up babying them to the point that you aren’t using them for their intended use: instead these luxury items are using you as their babysitter.

I can’t count the number of fountain pen enthusiasts I’ve seen throughout the years keeping their Montblanks and Pelikans in shiny leather metal cases, only taking them out during fountain pen meets to show off to other enthusiasts.

Not a single one of them used these pens as their daily drivers. The pens were so expensive that the thought of misplacing them or denting or even just scratching them was a horrifying proposition.

So these super pens never saw the light of day, only to sit in some glass case to be admired, never to be used.

Meanwhile the same person will go around using a cheap $20 Pilot or Lamy in their pocket every day without a care, using them for their intended purpose which is to write with.

My mother has a Rolex that was given to her by her father. She has never used it not once. It sits at home in a cabinet never to be used.

Even in the not-so-luxury market you will see similar things. Smartphones?

It never ceases to amuse me how so many people will drop $1000 on a phone then buy a $200 case and a $20 tempered glass screen to protect it, because it’s so expensive they’d just cry if it got so much as a nick on its shiny anodized finish.

Meanwhile I’m going around with a $100 phone that’s cheaper than their case, bare naked and don’t give a care in the world, my phone still has fewer scratches on it than their $200 case (the case is not as scratch resistant as the phone most of the time — I think case makers do this on purpose to emphasize to foolish users that their phone might get damaged when in truth the phone is not going to get scratched as easily).

That’s the real problem with expensive products: they demand so much attention and care that they stop being tools we use, and we become tools they use for babysitting.

   

   -Erwin Anciano

5 Powerful Habits That Will Change Your Life

5 powerful habits that will change your life:

1. Never follow the crowd:
   Set YOUR goals, own them and pursue them.
   Don't take your dreams to the grave!
2. Embrace change:
   Change is a part of life.
   Disrupt yourself BEFORE change disrupts you.
3. Live outside your comfort zone:
   Your comfort zone is your DEATH zone.
   Everything you want lies on the edge of your comfort zone.
4. Pursue knowledge:
   The moment you stop LEARNING, you stop growing.
   When we stop growing, we start dying.
5. Choose your relationships wisely.
   We become like the people we spend the most time with.
   Remember, eagles don't fly with pigeons

   -Hector Quintanilla

“Bhaiya I have only three months left for my exams, I haven't studied enough, I ought to fail, I can't achieve focus now. I am stressed. What can I do now?”

This is the most common message I get with some difference in the remaining time period.

I reply by asking a counter-question.

“What option to you have now?”

1. Quit
2. Cry
3. Regret
4. Procrastinate
5. Get stressed.

All the options lead you to one particular result- Failure.

The chance of getting this result is 100%

The only option skipped above is utilising the remaining time in doing the best you can do, which is “hard work.”

At least cover the most important topics and not waste the remaining period.

This option will slowly increase your chances of success and keep you in the game.

Among the six options, choose the best one as you perceive it.

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For developing an attitude of working hard-

1. You have to trust hard work, it won't do magic, but would definitely bring a positive change in future, and give you a significant chance to succeed.
2. You have to realise that it's the only valid option in front of you. The other option is to quit, procrastinate and regret.
3. You have to understand that the only way you can compete with talent, fate and luck is through hard work, complaining and jealousy would only make you inferior.
4. You have to have a long term view of your goals and desires; the quick urge to get things will kill the intent to work hard.
5. You need to develop love towards whatever you do and not only the results, identify the correct reasons to pursue any goal, hard work can only be done if the work itself motivates you.

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The people who work hard and succeed aren't special; they just succeeded in having a practical vision towards the reality of life.

It's all in your mind, the way you perceive things.

  -Anubhav Jain

6 Years ago, My Oldest Son Disappeared From Home....

 6 years ago, my oldest son disappeared from home. A week later, people found his dead body in an auto; he was just 40. A part of me died with him, but burdened by responsibilities, I didn’t even have the time to mourn–the next day, I was back on the road, driving my auto.

But 2 years later, sorrow struck us again–I lost my other son too. While driving, I got a call–‘Your son’s body has been found on platform number 4…suicide kar liya hai usne.’ Do beto ki chitaon ko aag diya hain maine, isse buri baat ek baap ke liye kya ho sakti hai?

 
It was the responsibility of my daughter-in-law & their 4 children that kept me going. After the cremation, my granddaughter, who was in class 9, asked me, ‘Dadaji, will I have to quit school?’ I gathered all my courage & reassured her, ‘Never! You study as much as you want.’

  
I started working long hours–I’d leave home at 6 AM & drive my auto till midnight. Only then, would I be able to make 10,000 Rs a month. After spending 6000 on their school fees, I’d be left with barely 4000 to feed my family of 7.

 
On most days, we’d barely have anything to eat. Once, when my wife fell sick, I had to run door to door begging for money to buy her medicines.

 
But everything seemed worth it when last year, my granddaughter told me that she’d scored 80% in her 12th boards–I was on cloud nine! The whole day, I gave a free ride to all my customers! She said to me, ‘Dadaji, I want to do a B.Ed course in Delhi.’

 
Educating her in another city was way beyond my capacity, but I had to fulfill her dreams…at any cost. So, I sold our house & paid her fees. Then, I sent my wife, daughter-in-law & other grandkids to our relatives’ home in our village, while I continued staying in Mumbai without a roof.

 
It’s been a year now & honestly, life’s not bad–I eat & sleep in my auto & during the day, I ferry my passengers. Bas baithe baithe kabhi pair me dard ho jaata hai, but then my granddaughter calls & tells me, ‘I came first in my class,’ & all my pain vanishes.

 
I can’t wait for her to become a teacher, so that I can hug her & say, ‘You’ve made me so proud.’ She’s going to be the first graduate in our family–main toh poore hafte sakbo free ride dunga!”

Negative Thoughts vs Quality of Life

 

Negative thoughts must be replaced, not removed.

Before I tell you why, I want to say I am proud of you for recognizing that your thoughts are negative. People go their entire lives filling their head with negativity and fail to think about what they’re thinking about.

Negative thoughts cannot be removed. They can only be replaced.

The Law of Conservation says matter cannot magically appear or disappear, it simply changes from one form to another.

Your thoughts work similarly.

You cannot force your thoughts to be removed from your mind. But go ahead, try it—

Remove your thoughts.

Think of nothing.

Did it work?

If it worked, stop reading right here.

If your brain, like normal people, continued to whir thoughts around in your head then here’s the solution to “removing” negative ones.

The solution to removing negative thoughts is to replace them with positive ones.

It’s natural to have negative thoughts. We get anxious before a first date, we worry about our loved ones, and so on. It’s human.

And so it happens to all of us.

The next time you find yourself having negative thoughts, immediately replace it with a positive one.

If you were thinking “I don’t know if he’ll like me, we only talked on the phone before, what if he thinks I’m weird in person” — cut that shit out and instead feed your mind the winning thought of “we’re having a date because he’s interested in getting to know me and I know we’ll exchange some great stories.”

Your thoughts are so powerful.

Whether you decide to fill your head with negative ones or positive ones, it shapes your view of the world and how you respond to life.

Your actions, your feelings, your perspectives and you beliefs stem from your thoughts.

Sticking to the first date metaphor, if you keep thinking that he’ll think you’re weird, I bet that on your first date, you’re going to say something odd or show strange behavior because your brain wants to fulfill what you’re feeding it.

The worst thing you can do with negative thoughts is try to remove them from your mind with force.

It’s ineffective and wears you down.

In Psycho-Cybernetics, Dr. Maxwell Maltz writes, “A ‘bad’ feeling is not dispelled by conscious effort or willpower… concentrate on positive imagery— on filling the mind with wholesome, positive, desirable images, imaginations, and memories. If we do this, the negative feelings take care of themselves. They simply evaporate. We develop new feeling-tones appropriate to the new imagery.”

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I hope this helps.

I just finished reading Psycho-Cybernetics and it is a classic.

Rooting for you, always.

      

     -Kaila J. Lim 

{ Blogger's Note : See if the negative thoughts are based on reality, if They are then try to address the cause }

Straight Up Facts That You Won't Swallow

 

Fact 1: The way you are today is the standard you accept

The physical fitness of your body is an area you have complete control over. You deciding to push your workouts, eat more processed foods and maintain that visceral layer of fat is the standard of fitness you are accepting, whether you know it or not.

The acne and acne scars on your face are from you not being able to control your abusive skin picking habits or stick to your routine of washing your face 2X a day.

Raise your standards. Design your habits to match those new standards and only accept anything at that level and above. As you design your habits what you’ll notice is that over time, those habits will design you.

Fact 2: You are privileged

Everyone’s childhood was imperfect and it’s easy to feel like a victim to our circumstances. But if you’re reading this right now, you are privileged. If you have internet access, the world is at your finger tips.

If you’ve ever been stressed with deciding between jobs or feeling anxiety around “how do I find my purpose in life?” you are privileged.

Because there are many people in the world who do not get to pick what they do with their life. They do not get to even ponder the thought of what life’s calling could be. They do not get to explore their potential. They are born into societies that already decided for them.

Fact 3: Jealousy is not a compliment toward you

There is a large misunderstanding that someone being jealous of you is a form of flattery. But it’s not.

Jealousy stems from such deep-rooted insecurity in another person that it can be toxic. It’s negative energy and it can be poison.

I used to be a very jealous person when I was younger. The person who I was jealous of could only do so much, it was a lot of my own innerwork that was required to grow out of the jealousness.

However, something that helped was when they’d open up about their journey, showing me the parts of them that were also once broken or less than ideal. I believe that being that vulnerable couldn’t have been easy but it helped me.

A lot of it was my own self development work, journaling, and adjusting my attitude.

I feel like being jealous is closer to hate than it is to love.

Don’t get it confused.

Fact #4: The best time to start was 5 years ago and the second best time is now

That book you always wanted to write? The online business you dreamed of starting? The one thing you keep telling everyone you’ll eventually do?

Yeah, that.

It was best to do it years ago. However, the next best time is to get started on it today.

2014 you is kicking you in the butt for not creating content back then. I guarantee you that 2026 you will kick you in the butt for not starting to create right now.

Fact #5: There is someone much younger than you who is coming for the spot you’re in today

People believe they are each a special snowflake. If their work is their own art, only they could hold that special place in the market.

But that’s not true.

Someone somewhere else in the world is working harder, practicing more, and following in your footsteps.

Especially if you are publishing work online and have built up an audience, understand that there are followers who are inspired by what you do. They have more time and a higher risk profile.

You’ve worked hard to come this far. The challenge is staying there and becoming better.

Keep working your craft and let your work change with you. The only competition you have is with yourself. Stay focused.

I’m rooting for you.

  

    -Kaila J. Lim