Discipline

I hated sleeping on time, going to the gym, eating right.

It felt very constraining. It seemed so much better to binge watch TV shows, sleep longer and eat whatever I liked. If I slept well one day, or went to the gym one day, or ate well one day, it didn’t really change anything.

But I also began to realize that my life was incredibly chaotic. I felt dissatisfied.

I should have been satisfied. After all, I was doing what I wanted to. It is then I began to realize that I was looking at things all wrong.

Doing things well for one day probably did not change anything. But one week, one month, one year might. I started a test experiment by just planning my days and fixing the time I slept and woke up.

Ironically, the “discipline” set me free.

I could do more in the same day. I felt like working out. My work productivity improved substantially. It felt a lot better, surprisingly.

By building habits and a rhythm to my life, I could do more. I didn’t have to convince myself to follow those habits, doing so made me feel better. Personal “discipline” is actually quite easy because you just feel so much better. Those who are now “addicted” to the gym will know what I mean.

All you need to do is be patient while building habits, and know it will make you feel better if you remain patient.

I now love sleeping on time, going to the gym, eating right.

  
 

-Aviral Bhatnagar

,IIM A '16 | IIT B '14
Genius ?

Especially My Family– I Want to be Their Hero!

“After my father passed away, I came to Delhi with maa and my brothers. Bhaiya used to work in a nearby factory and made enough to take care of us and pay my school fees. 

But before the lockdown, he went to Jaipur for some work and I noticed that Maa used to be tense all the time. She wouldn't tell me anything but I understood that we had a money problem. Ghar ka ration khatam ho raha tha; Maa would sometimes skip her dinner. My younger brother was also sick.
 
I wanted to do something to help and since my school was closed, I had plenty of time. One day when I saw a vegetable vendor in my area, I got the idea of selling vegetables in a pull cart! Maa was hesitant at first, but when I promised her I’d be safe, she helped me hire a cart! 
 
Every morning, at 4am, I go to Khalsa mandi and fill my cart with fresh stock. The market is usually very crowded– so, social distancing becomes difficult. I somehow manage to juggle through the crowd and head to the nearby households. Sometimes people say, ‘Beta, itne chote ho– aap kaam kyu karte ho?’ But I’m always smiling because I’m helping Maa! My first day earning was Rs. 1000– I was very happy! I gave all the money to Maa and she used it to buy ration for us. 


 
I remember, at first, I was very hesitant to talk to customers. Mujhe bahut darr lagta tha, but they were all so nice to me that I opened up to them. We ask each other about our family and a few of them even give me gifts!
 
So this is what I’m doing now, but someday, I’ll join the army, serve my country and make everybody proud of me! Especially my family– I want to be their hero!”

I am Poor

  

When I was doing my graduation, I stayed in a hostel, which provided lunch and dinner but no breakfast. You had two options for breakfast: Go out to a restaurant nearby and have a hot breakfast or eat what most of the students ate - mashed banana and flattened rice (it is called poha or chura in India). I chose the second option since the first option was too costly. The food in the hostel was neither good in quality nor enough in quantity. So most of the times, I was famished.

I used to pity myself till I had a discussion about hunger with one of my classmates. He was worse off than me. His father was dead and his mother used to serve tea and water in a government office in a desolate tribal village. In short, he had enough money to have just one meal a day. I asked him what he did when he felt hungry. He said he would drink water.

This classmate of mine was a good student but did not have a clue about what to do after his graduation. In those days, IT was booming in India and I convinced him to do get a Masters degree in Computer Applications (MCA). He got into one of the best Universities of India.

I did not meet him when we were doing our Post Graduation since I was at a different University. I met him a year after both of us had started our careers. He came to meet me. He was working for the largest software company of India and was on his way to his first foreign assignment. I felt very happy at how he had been able to turn around his fortune. He had started from a village which did not have electricity and his relatives and friends had not even seen life outside their village.

I am not in touch with him. But I searched the net and I found this photo. He is happily settled with his family in the USA.

So how do you deal with being too poor? Work hard and have patience. Things will turn around.

-Rahul Shrivastava,IFS

Don't Rely On Anyone to Fight Your Battles

I have a story. I usually do.

Years ago, I was dating a guy who had a friend who for some reason couldn't stand me. He took every opportunity to slam me for one reason or another. He would do this in front of my boyfriend, Jim. There were times I could sense that it bothered Jim but I believe he wanted to side more with his buddy than me so he wouldn't look bad to his friend. I tried several times to get Jim, this guy who was supposed to love me, to tell his friend to knock it off but to no avail.

One day, when I was alone with this friend, Frank, I got in his face and asked him what it was about me that he couldn't stand. I wanted him to tell me why he hated me so much that he felt he had to belittle me every chance he got. It took Frank off guard. I could see in his face he was shocked at my direct question. He actually said he didn't know. He apologized and from then on we were fine.

If your husband won't stick up for you, maybe it's time for you to stand up for yourself. You shouldn't have to deal with that kind of behavior and your husband shouldn't want you to have to deal with it either. If your taking control doesn't fix the problem then you need to have a big girl talk with your husband. I don't give a piss what people want to label another individual. It doesn't excuse bad behavior.

Don't rely on anyone to fight your battles. Fight them yourself. Go to bat for yourself. If this situation were happening to me today, the outcome would have been much different. I would have shut it down a long time ago. I was in my twenties when this took place. Age and wisdom have replaced those young girl insecurities.

Tell this man yourself he's not welcome in your home unless he changes his attitude. Don't forget, you live there too.

Distraction & No Focus

#1. Consuming useless information by way of: TELEVISION, INTERNET ARTICLES, DISTRACTING APPS/CONTENT (Facebook, news networks that spew ridiculous attention-grabbing political and negative news for the most part), LATE NIGHT SATIRE SHOWS, and the list continues. None of these media channels will change your life and scientific research shows how your brain literally shuts off during television.

Sometimes I really hate myself when I look up at my watch and realize I spent 2 hours just surfing the net on puppy videos, how a dog got reunited with the owner or how a fisherman saved a whale, etc. What a waste of time!

Replace this soul-sucking habit with: reading, working harder/more, goal setting, life planning, etc. The most successful people read often and diligently on subjects that matter - not your latest romance novel, instead they read the latest biography, business thought leadership publication, self-development book, or respected economic journals (Harvard Business Review, the Economist, etc.).

-Dandan Zhu

You Need to be Passionate to Succeed..................

You need to be passionate about something to achieve your dreams, right?

Wrong.

Frankly, the only thing I've ever truly been passionate about is playing video games, which I could spend 8+ hours a day playing.

Everything else in my life I'd want to do for up to a few hours a day, no more.

Yet I attained a school scholarship, perfect grades in my 18+ exams, managed a solid upper second from Oxford University, became a VP at Morgan Stanley and Credit Suisse, founded several successful startups.

I absolutely love what I do - and I don't spend any of my time playing video games - I haven't for two decades.

In fact, when I'm on vacation I want to spend at least 8 hours a day working.

How does that work without passion?

You see, you don't need passion - you need a REASON. Sure, that reason could be a passion, although it rarely is. It could be helping others, money, fame, a chip on the shoulder, wanting to outdo a rival, fear of failure, or you just trying to prove a point to yourself or the whole world.

Passion is overrated - you probably can't make a career of something you love doing anyway.

So find your reason.

-Asim Qureshi,Masters in Physics from Oxford University

When Your Highest Desire Rules Your Lesser Desires

“Self-discipline is when your highest desire rules your lesser desires, not through resistance, but through loving action grounded in understanding and compassion.”

― David Deida

The Power of Discipline

Discipline is one of the most important attributes that stands between success and failure. It allows you to do things you may not enjoy at the moment but will reward benefits in the future. This means investing your time doing things such as exercising, getting better with women, or building a business without any immediate return.

These activities might suck at the moment, but you’ll be grateful for them in the future.

Exercising will allow you to have a higher level of physical health with more muscle, increased cardiovascular strength, and mental capacity to deal with stress.

Getting better with women will allow you to bring more women into your life. And eventually crossing paths with a compatible high-quality woman, you’re ready to do all the right things to attract and keep her.

Lastly, building a business that doesn’t have an immediate return on investment will allow you to appreciate the returns when you start generating revenue.

Rarely do businesses have immediate returns, even if it does, you won’t learn to appreciate its true value because you haven’t dedicated enough time to build it.

You must put in the work to deserve the fruition of your labor.

Despite not having a successful business, you’ll learn from your mistakes and turn them into powerful lessons. This will cause you to be a wiser entrepreneur in your future endeavors.

As a result, you will have learned to fail successfully.

How to Cultivate Discipline

Discipline, like any other skill, can be learned. It’s a muscle that requires frequent training to be strong.

Similar to willpower, your discipline will be the strongest when you first wake up. However, you can maintain a strong level of it throughout the day by doing things you know you must do.

In effect, you’re causing a chain reaction to stack and build on existing willpower. As a result, your level of discipline will actually increase throughout the day.

You can start your day off with a solid morning routine that puts you in a positive state.

Then let that momentum catapult you for the rest of the day.

Sometimes, even when you’re doing all the right things, you will still feel resistance and the urge to be undisciplined. A simple question you can ask yourself is:

“Is what I’m doing aligned with my values?”

For example, if at the end of a tiring day, I’m tempted to watch a mindless television show that will decrease the quality of my sleep because of the blue light exposure. Then I ask myself:

“Is watching television before bedtime aligned with my value of health?”

The answer is an obvious “no.”

Guided by my answer, I choose to prepare for sleep with light yoga stretches or foam-rolling movements while listening to relaxing meditation music. By asking myself this simple yet powerful question, I can create more discipline in my life.

Instead of choosing for the instant gratification of watching television, I choose delayed gratification of preparing myself for sleep because the benefits I will experience in the morning. They include waking up with more energy, zest, and vitality after a high-quality night of sleep.

Closing Thoughts

Discipline is an attribute you can learn to cultivate more of.

Because your surrounding environment has many forms of instant gratification, you must make a conscious effort to fight for delayed gratification.

The main determining factor that will help you prevail is your “why.” It all comes to how bad you want it.

What are you willing to sacrifice? If you want it enough, you will put in the necessary time and work to achieve it.

It’s simple as that. But just because it’s straightforward doesn’t mean it’s easy.

• Where are you holding back in life?
• What is it deep down you want to do but are too afraid to do it?
• What would you do if you knew you wouldn't fail?

Let discipline help you get there. Show up and do the work even when no one is watching.

Do it for your own sake. Radiate your true character and do more of what's most important to you.

I hope this helps.

-Perry Liao

How Hard IISc Hit Me....

Hard to the power infinity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me give you little background. I did my M. Tech from IIT Kanpur, SMD. The first month was like hell. Things were going above my head. I was not able to cross single digit in any of the quizzes. Somehow things became manageable close to mid-sem and by end sem I was confident that I am not going to at least fail in any subject. However I manged to do well in end term. Now things looked pretty enjoyable and I decided to take the toughest courses in the department. It felt like now I can crack anything.

I did my M. Tech project with Dr. Bhaskar Dasgupta and Dr. Bishakh Battacharya. Both of them did their PhD from IISc. Dasgupta Sir had a habit of coming to lab post dinner and use to stay in lab till 3/4 am. Most of us use to join him for tea/coffee around 11.30 or 12. We use to chat a lot, a lot mean a lot. Most of the time about IISc or about Math. He use to motivate all of to join for PhD, in India or abroad. In the mean time I got a job in Ashok Leyland. I decided to join the job and take time for preparing GRE.

In the very first month I learned that I can not continue in the job and only option available are either go back to IITK for PhD or IISc. I decided to try my luck with IISc. I thought if I have survived IITK then what worst can happen? (read this carefully) I will finish PhD from IISc in 3 years and then will go for 2nd PhD outside India. I was targeting double doctorate. I did not knew what I am getting into.

When I started attending classes at IISc initially it did not felt difficult, everything seemed calm and peaceful like the institute climate. But who knew there is a strong and powerful current beneath this? The basic difference in courses in any IIT and IISc is, mostly in IITs the course has a syllabus which needs to be covered wheres as in IISc you are trained to be a researcher so though courses had syllabus the teaching style of professors was more open ended. We were more involved in the class, we discussed things which were not in any book, sometimes a research article or notes from a Russian author.

Slowly, it became clear that even after IITK I have just scratched the surface, there is a lot, a lot to learn. I do not know when and how 6 years went by. I do not exactly remember when I forgot about my double doctorate. What I do remember is two exams

a) Dr. Chaterji mailed us the final term question, yes mailed us, and gave 7 days to solve the paper,

b) Dr. Harursampath took an exam with open time. We started around 5pm and there were students who were siting till 10 am next day. Some of us went to hostel, slept for 2 hours and came back to write the exam

IISc is one of a kind institute in India. None of the IIT can come close to that level. Most of the IISc graduates are professor in IITs so you can imagine.

- Srikant Sekhar

UPSC CSE Group A Job

With The Chief of Naval Staff !!

With the Air Chief Marshal

With the Chief of Defence Staff General Bipin Rawat

Addressing the Defence secretary

This is my first answer on Quora!!! So I took the chance to write about two topics close to my heart. Women and a respectful career!!!

I ( though lucky enough to have a few awesome supportive family members and friends) am from a very conservative and patriarchal surrounding ( like most women in India). They strongly believe that

1)The workplace of women is in the kitchen.

2)The work of women is only to take care of family members

3) A women working in a family will lead to family discords

4) The four walls of the house be her restricted boundary

5)Women going to work is a disrespect to the family and shows the incapacity of men to earn.

6)Adjusting to any domestic abuse is the ‘way of life’ for every women.

A women in such a surrounding is

1)Being judged for whatever she does

2)Constantly working to please everyone .

3)Made to believe that to dream big is a crime.

4)Never given opportunity to take any big decision regarding life or family.

5) Forced to believe that being independent is a bane to the family .

Many of you who are reading this might probably think whether these problems still exist in 21 st century?! Yes!! And if you ask any girl grown up in such a surrounding she will be definitely be able to relate to it!!!

Now what does all this have to do with life like after getting a government job?

From my childhood I never wanted to confine my aspirations! I always wanted to live a more meaningful life , contribute in some way to the society, a life with high goals and purpose! Thanks to my family,I graduated in engineering and joined a leading Private Company( sadly many girls in India don’t get to do higher education even)! Though my Parents supported my decision, they were blamed for sending a girl out of town, that too to earn! And as a daughter I never wanted my parents to put their heads down!!

Soon , I realised that I will be made to resign the job, get married and forced to live the life as I mentioned above! As most of the girls succumb to!

So I decided I should reach a position with high societal respect where they hesitate to question me for working Or my parents for raising an independent girl!! I decided to pursue civil services as a career( though I knew no civil Servant personally before that)!With so much of difficulty, failures, demotivations and societal pressure (which most of them appearing for UPSC civil services will face), but with the support of my family and friends , I managed to clear civil services and landed in Indian Defence Accounts Service!

Though I know I haven’t achieved something very great ! But it was this government job that gave me an opportunity to

1)Prove that Women are capable of paving their own way and achieving more than just what the narrow-minded society wants them to do.

2) Travel nearly 20 states and Union Territories as a part of my job.

3) To go to U.S.A for a Foreign Study Attachment

4)Officially visit the World Bank

5) Attend a three days attachment in the Indian Parliament.

6)Visit the US congress.

7) Meet the Defence minister, minister of state for defence and all the service chiefs.

8)Bring a change in the minds of the people with a patriarchal view!!

9) Give a hope to girls to fly high

10) Bring out that a job means more to a women , rather than measuring it in only monetary value.

11) Show that women are Assets to the family, not liability. Women are a Pride,a boon !!!

Thus the life after a government job has given me confidence as a woman, a zeal to atleast be a tiny ray of hope for more women to shatter the blockades!! The job has made people who looked down upon women for dreaming big to respect such women!!!

The work culture of my job is such that

1. ‘Ladies First' is strictly followed as a Protocol even in dining!
2. I have experienced that in many gatherings the Army officers stand up when a women enters or leaves a hall ( as a mark of respect) .
3. In the Navy,whenever any girl/woman( even be it a 3 year old) enters a ship she is saluted.

It is so humbling to see the way the women are treated!! And I can definitely feel the stark difference!! The happiness in being recognised as equals knows no bounds!!!

The job has given me wings to Fly!!! Hope many girls earn their wings to fly too!!

To all the women

1)Follow your their dreams, however big or small it might be!

2)overcome the hurdles with positivity!

3)Find solace in people who support you( there are many such people) and ignore the rest!

4)Answer the criticisers with your success!!

5)Break the gender stereotypes with your strength!

6)support other women

To all men,

If at all you can

Try to lessen the difficulties in their( may be your mother, sister, wife, girlfriend, or friend) earnest Efforts to live their own lives!

Be different from those around you !Set an example for other men.

To the society,

I really hope that change will come , that women will no more have to fight for support and encouragement to unleash their potential .

Our time will come 😀अपना टाइम आएगा 💪🏻எங்களுக்கும் காலம் வரும்😀

Best wishes to every one to have a contented and purposeful life😊


-Aarthi Chandrasekar, IDAS at Government of India (2018-present)

Wasting Time?

Imagine you are given a Lamborghini for 2 hours.

Source: Google

What would you do ?

Would you feel lazy to take it out ?

If you are feeling sick, will you use that as an excuse ?

Will you say, nah I will sleep for an hour and take it out an hour later ?

Obviously not.

You will probably make the most of those two hours to enjoy this beast.

Now one question:

Is a Lamborghini more valuable than your life?

Definitely no.

Then why you wouldn’t treat your life as important as a lambo?

Life is ultimately nothing but time, when you waste an hour of your time you waste a percentage of your life.

How you spend an hour determines how you spend a day determines how you spend a year determines how you spend your life.

Lets go back in the past:

Lets go back 5 years later, imagine the amount of time you wasted. What if you would have put it to a better use?

Would your life had been any better if you had utilised the time properly?

Now lets go 5 years ahead in the future, what you do today will determine where you would be 5 years ahead.

People who value time and spend it wisely have everything in life, success , money, happiness, satisfaction etc while the one who wastes time just spend their entire life wondering how time went by and how they didn’t achieve anything substantial.

We all know that life is precious however we forget that time is life and wasting time is ultimately wasting life.

When you understand this you will never waste a second of your life.

How to practically stop wasting time:

Have a plan for every hour:

Even if you are not working and are taking a day off, just plan everything you would do in a day hour by hour

Stop procrastinating:

If you know that something important needs to be done then do it now without giving it a second thought.

Stop spending time on dumb things:

Tv series, novels, youtube videos are not made for us. They are made for by the creators to mint money off you. I don’t mean you should completely stop watching series or reading novels but limit the amount of time you spend on it.

Conquer your hour and hence the day and hence your life:

If you spend every hour of the day productively you will spend your life in the same way. Start by making the most of the current hour and you wont have to worry about the rest.

Set priorities:

Set priorities for tasks you have, what matters the most to you? health or career?

You should plan your activities according to the priorities you have. Top priority tasks should be done earlier in the day.

-Saurav Sharma

Punishing the Child for getting C's or B's

I have a PhD. That's an absolutely amazing academic accomplishment, no? A lot of people have doctorates. Yet, I'm part of the ~2.5% of Americans with one. That means that over 97% of the US population doesn't have one.
 

I wasn't the valedictorian of my high school class. I got B's. Hell, I even got C's (mostly in history though). My senior year of high school, my hardest class, Advanced Placement Physics was a 2 year AP class crammed into 1 year. It was hard. I spent hours daily studying and going over my materials. The grade I got in return for my hard work? C. For the life of me, I just couldn't remember everything.
 

Does that somehow invalidate my academic accomplishments? No. In fact, it's because I worked hard and still only got a C in a class that I knew I had what it takes to keep going.
 

Kids who never fail are robbed of crucial life lessons. Additionally, research has shown that the kids who outperform their peers academically in school do NOT go on to be more successful as adults. In fact, they have a more difficult time as adults when things are not easy or require effort and time to learn and master. They are more likely to give up, suffer from anxiety and depression, and have greater issues with relationships because they never learned how to handle rejection and failure properly.
 

Don't teach them to be perfect; you're not even perfect. Teach them to work hard and do what they need to do to be successful. If they've tried their best, and worked their tail off, then they should be happy with whatever their grade is, even if it's a 70. Would you rather a kid who never pushes themself to take challenging coursework for the fear of getting a B, so they take all easy courses? I could have easily not taken physics at all in high school. It wouldn't have hurt me not to. I didn't need the class. I took it to challenge myself. What would I have learned about myself? That I refuse to try if I don't think I'll be perfect? That's a horrible lesson to teach your child.
 

My oldest is in an AP class right now that he's struggling in. His grade last term was a 70. This is a kid who skipped a year of math. He's smart. He challenged himself, and he's struggling. I'm proud that he is working hard to learn it. If the 70 is the best he can do, why punish that? I know he's working hard on it, he's going for extra help, he's using multiple resources to try and learn it.

The more important lesson he's learning is to not give up even when it's hard. Now, THAT'S a lesson to teach your child. Punish them if the effort isn't there. If he wasn't even trying and failing, I'd be really mad. But he's doing what he can. I'm proud of him.

 

 
Carol Danvers, PhD Psychology from Grand Canyon University