Recipe To Have a Miserbale Life

1. Closing Your Mind

I know way too many people who still operate with the same beliefs, patterns, and styles of thinking that they did when they were 18.

  

They blindly listened to authority, accepted whatever beliefs their family, friends, and society instilled in them…and never bothered to challenge any of it as they grew up.

  

The simple truth is that life is complicated. Infinitely so.

  

And no matter how fervently you believe something, there is someone else somewhere in the world with an antithetical viewpoint that is often just as valid as your own.

   

When you operate with a closed mind in your 20s, you never have the opportunity to formulate your own ideas. To create your own code for living and find your own answers to life’s hard questions.

   

And, if you create this habit in your 20s, it is MUCH harder to break later on. 

Your 20s should be a time to question everything…religion, politics, life advice, your own goals, your own beliefs about the world, your own identity as a man or woman…EVERYTHING.

  

If you were told that “success” is getting married, having a 9–5 job with a good pension, raising a few kids and then retiring and you chose to believe that (even if, subconsciously this sounds like hell), you are setting yourself up for a life of misery.

  

Question everything and don’t accept anything you were told simply because mommy, daddy, a teacher, or the government told it to you.

   

 

2. Fearing Failure

  

Let’s just get this out of the way.

You’re going to fail. A lot. Way more than you can even imagine.

This is true of everyone.

  

Failure is an inevitable part of life. But most people fear it as if it’s the end of life. And, as a result, they play it safe and refuse to take bold risks or chart their own path.

 

The way you live in your 20s will, for better or worse, determine how you live later in life.

While it’s true that people can and do change, the chains of habit tighten with time, making it harder for you to break out of your old patterns, behaviors, and beliefs.

  

In your 20s you shouldn’t fear failure…you should seek it out.

The time to fail is now.

  

Start your business. Travel the world. Write your book. Backpack around the country.

 

Do whatever you truly want to do and trust that if you do fail (and you probably will) you can recover.

 

If I’d allowed my fear of failure to paralyze me in my 20s, I would be in a miserable marriage, working a job I don’t like, and stuck in my own personal hell.

Because I was willing to stare failure in the face, I have the dating life of my dreams, built a 7-figure business, and enjoy a life I honestly never thought was possible.

   

3. Refusing to Work on Yourself 

 

If you don’t work on yourself in your 20s…if you don’t address childhood trauma, forge your own identity, look at your strengths and weaknesses objectively, and attempt to improve who you are and how you live…you will create a pattern of tolerance.

 

You will tolerate a shitty life because it’s all you’ve ever known.

 

You’ll tolerate shitty relationships, jobs, friends, and health because you weren’t willing to do the hard work when you were younger.

  

And it is MUCH harder to build a business, get in great shape, or create an abundant dating and social life when you’re in your 30s and 40s than it is in your 20s.

  

Take this decade to work on yourself. 

 

Build a bulletproof body that allows you to do the things you want to do and that you feel confident in.

Master social dynamics and learn how to make friends, find great partners, and experience authentic love and connection (and how to keep it around).

  

Learn about finances and your respective career so that you can compound your skills and accumulate real wealth.  

PUT IN THE WORK to become the person you want to be and everything will fall into place later.

  

4. Abusing Your Health

Listen…

It’s normal to party in your 20s, experiment with drugs, drink a little (ok a lot) too much on the weekends, and order late-night pizzas to cure your hangover.

But sooner or later, you need to start taking your health seriously.

   

Again, if you become overweight or injure yourself in your 20s, it’s a LOT harder to recover from this in your 30s.

Have fun, but don’t abuse your health. 

 

Prioritize sleep (7 hours minimum every night). Eat clean foods (ideally things that grew in the ground or had a face). Make a habit of going to the gym. Take supplements that are proven to improve performance.

Take care of your body and it will take care of you.

Abuse your body and life will abuse you.

   

5. Allowing Other People to Determine Your Identity

  The MOST detrimental thing you can do in your 20s is to allow other people to determine who you should be.

 

To let society, your parents, your friends, and the media dictate your goals, actions, and ambitions. 

I know too many guys who got into a job or relationship because it was what everyone else thought they should do…who now hate their lives and want nothing more than to turn back the clock and make a different decision (but of course, they can’t…because they have 2 kids, a mortgage, and an unhappy marriage they can’t end).

   

 

Don’t be like most people.

   

You and only you are responsible for your life and future.

And you and only you know what will make you happy, fulfilled, and alive.

You only have one shot at life.

And it’s up to you to make it count.

Just because your family wants what is best for you doesn’t mean they know what’s best for you.

    

And just because society says you should be a rich, handsome billionaire with 6-pack abs doesn’t mean that’s what you should actually do. 

     

Figure out who you really are and who you really want to be and then put in the work to make your goals a reality.

Everything else is bullshit.

  

Stay Grounded

 
Andrew Ferebee

Successful People

My friend Kshitij is a very good coder. He wanted to set up his own start up. So in college from third year onwards he involved in various projects in search of opportunities.

After seeing his dedication his mentor funded for a project under him. But unfortunately it could not kick off. He did not take it as a failure, rather a learning experience. More or less this positive attitude is common among all successful people.

His coding skill and that experience in project fetched him a good paying job after graduation. Remember hard work always pays off directly or indirectly.

Though he had taken a job, but his hunger for start up was always there. Burning deep inside of him. After working for few months he got both: experience in corporate sector and some financial saving. In the mean time, he was working on his start up product as well. It was ready. Now he could take calcuated risk. When you know when to take risk and when to back out.

He founded his start up and worked on it. Day and night. Yet failed. How can he fail!! When everything was right, how can someone fail! He put his effort, he is intelligent, his strategy was right. One will think like Years of effort and sacrifice went waste.

But No. Efforts never go waste. He got a job in JIO which was offering him huge pay due to his experience as a Start up cofounder.

Meanwhile he worked at JIO to come back stronger. He cofounded another start up in a short span and this one is a big success. Recently he won the Y combinator programme and Tech stars Start up competition and got big time funding.

Three golden rules of successful people :

1. They do not complain or blame their parents, luck, career, college
2. They know when not to give up and when to.
3. They are smart workers. They work hard, but with a strategy which is continuously evaluated. 
   
   
   
   
   
   -Abinash Mishra

Money and passion .................

Money and passion rarely go together.

• If you are seeking money, you can’t follow your passion.
• If you are seeking your passion, you can’t make much money.

Passion is an emotion, which seeks gratification in following your heart and doing what you love to do.

However, when you do what you love, it can hardly earn you good money.
 

For example, over a million book are published in a year globally and hardly a few hundred books are sold enough to provide enough royalty to the author to live a dignified life.
  

Most authors earn negative royalty since they can’t even recover their cost of promotion from the royalties.
  

Even the most bestselling authors earn income that is not more than the income of an average professional in any field.

Only one in a million author earn income that makes news and inspires millions to follow them.
   

It is common for most writers to work in an alternate job where they can get an assured income till they become so popular that they can survive on their royalties.
 

And unfortunately 99.9% of the authors never reach to that stage.
  

The same hold good for almost all passions like painting, singing, playing etc.
   

Only in exceptional cases, people make good money by following their passion when they reach on the top of the chosen profession.
 

It reminds me a picture posted recently by Neha Kakkad, who has become now perhaps the top singer in the HIndi movies. She shared her inspiring journey of living in a one-bedroom house to buying a lavish bungalow. (see pics below)
  

  She may thus inspire millions of males and females who sings well to follow their passion in the hope of becoming as rich and successful.
 

However, let them not forget that unless you reach in the top one dozen singers in India, you may perhaps be singing in a party or in hotel earning a meager income just to survive.
 

It is not to say that passion should not be followed.

However, you must not follow your passion for the sake of money inspired by one-in-a-million success story.
 

You must follow the passion because it gives your soul a deep satisfaction and gives you a purpose of life.
 

If you get money too while following your passion, treat it as a gift of God or a bonus for pleasing the world.
 
-Awdhesh Singh

You can easily cultivate a burning desire to do the things that you don’t like doing

It’s quite simple really.

 

Just relate the outcome of something you don’t like doing to something that you truly desire.

During the JEE preparation, I sacrificed all parties and outings with friends and gave my everything to JEE studies. This was not because I had a burning desire to study. It was because I really desired the outcome of the JEE preparation - a good IIT, which would improve my career.

 

I did not find myself interested in computer science during my B.Tech, but I still ensured my grades never suffered. This was not because I had a burning desire to code, but because I could relate good grades in my mind as a pathway to good foreign internship opportunities to explore the world, and a good MBA college.

I don’t work hard as a consultant now because I have a burning desire to consult, but because I desire a successful career. I want to be good at what I do.

 

Whenever you pick up an activity which you don’t like doing, just think about why you picked up that activity in the first place. If there is absolutely no desirable outcome of that activity, then you are probably wasting your time doing that activity anyway.

 

But if there is an outcome that you desire, then you are not spending time doing an activity you don’t like, but you are spending time working towards an outcome you want. That thought should be enough to generate a burning desire in your mind.

 

Desire is, after all, just a trick of the mind and the heart.

-Rohan Jain,IIM,IIT

Do me a favor

Do me a favor.

Step outside.

Look at the sky. Look at the clouds against it. Does anything remain static? Anything?

Look around. Look at grass, trees, streets, people. Notice how everything is in motion, a perpetual state of frenzied transformation.

Look inside you. Your moods, your feelings. Turmoil, yes? (Or maybe that’s just me.)

Everything changes.

Do you know what the opposite of change is? Death.

Stagnation is the opposite of life.

It’s what things do when they are done.

I change because I am alive. I change because I am not a rock. I am more like water. I change because I am a survivor.

There is someone dazzling inside you - someone you are going to become. Stop at nothing to be that person. Go back to who you were for no one.

The next time someone says you’ve changed, smile broadly and say thank you.
 
-Dushka Zapata

I am not Responsible

Because it becomes easy to accept things this way.

Human beings find it very difficult to accept their own mistakes.

One of the hardest things to do in our lives is to forgive ourselves. We can easily forgive others for the hurt that they have caused us. But is it the same thing when it comes to accepting our own mistakes?

No. It is not the same. It is much easier to forgive others than ourselves.

When someone does wrong with you, they would give you an apology and you will either reconcile or not. It’s up to you whether to see them again or not. But when it’s you who have done the mistake, you find it harder to escape yourself.

It will be very easy for you to blame your family for your failure in an exam, marriage, life or career. You will try to find plenty of excuses to assure yourself that it was not your mistake.

I believe it’s all in our minds. We try to run away from real things and find solace in the explanation that makes it easier to accept ourselves. But this is not right because in this way we will never learn and hence will never grow.

Yeah, that’s it.

-Nishu Jain,IITK

Mistakes that People Commit which lead to Miserable Life

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  The outcome (result) of your life is traceable to the inputs you made earlier in life. If you're hard on yourself today, so as to cultivate the right deeds and habits (required for success), you'll enjoy a life of ease later in life. But if you use your life to test run every pleasurable things that come your way (early in life), you'll end up experiencing hardness of life. To avoid such hard life experience, avoid the following costly mistakes

  
  

  
  

  
  

  1. Not Submitting (Subscribing) to Learning from the Experience of Others (elderly ones, esp those whose success record you admire and wish to replicate). It's often said that experience is the best teacher. But it must not be your own experience. A driver with no spare tyre is careful while driving, so as not to puncture the only one it has, in uncalculated driving. So, you ought to replicate that safety habit. The best way to do so, is by enquiring from other drivers that have gone ahead of you or those who have gone through the road you're presently driving on, for guidance. Failure to do this early enough in life, will leave you with limited options of a smooth sail and landing in life.
     
     

     
     

  1. Not taking responsibility for your life's outcome and finances early enough. This costly mistakes has wrecked the lives of many. Many, even in their 20s still depend solely on their parent for survival and also see their parent responsible for the outcome of their life. They don't wake up early to take responsibility for their finances and life's outcome. They don't start early to source for means of income (either to support themselves or their family). They see and make their parent, guardians and other relatives responsible for their finances and life's outcome. Wake Up and Give Desired (Appropriate) Shape to Your Life.

  
  
  

  1. Not having a defined or stable stand or direction in life. It's often said that those who do not have a stand or standard to live by, usually fall for anything that comes their way. Most people in their 20s follow every trend (fashion, music, etc) they see in the social media and around them, without taking time to analyze the ripple effect of their action. This unchecked habit has crippled many youth in their prime. They're tossed to and fro by every wind of fashion and environmental change. They end up falling as preys to their predators and regretting at last. You can't continue living like a chameleon and expect to have an outstanding life. If you really want to enjoy life in due time, prove all things that come your way and hold unto the profitable (the kind that’s capable of producing your desired success).

  
  

  1. Little or no commitment to personal growth. The youthful stage of ones life ought to be a time primarily dedicated to personal growth and development.  A tree that intend to last long and bear more fruit in its old age, takes time to grow its root downward and the branches upward. Life has always answered to the principle of sowing and reaping. It's an abnormally to reap what you never sowed into your life. If you don't want to reap hardness of life, later on in life, take time to deliberately commit yourself to personal growth and development. The issue with most people in their 20s, is that they want to live (enjoy) life first, before committing to personal growth. They end up not lasting long in their desired lifestyle.

  
  
  

  1. Not Starting Out Early in Life. Most young persons in their 20s allow the “I'm too young mentality” to limit their early progress in life. They succumb to the despise on youths for positive generational change. They allow the shouting and side talks of others to limit the expression of their potentials early enough. Never allow any man to look down on you because you're young. They don't know what your Creator has heavily deposited in you. I'll like to let you know that, you're not too young to become a multimillionaire. You’re not too young to start that business of your dream. You’re not too young to become a king (and a sought after person) in your niche (industry). 

  
  
  
  

  • You're not too young to start that ministry of your calling. You're not too young to start initiating and building that godly relationship and home. You're not too young to start implementating that proven idea of yours.

  
  
  

  Don't allow the river of mistakes that drowned men with heavy potential and promising future, to also drown you. CAREFULLY HEED TO THESE ADVICE DETAILED ABOVE.

  
  

  -Joseph Isieturugo