Toxic Relation

Do you think this person has your back? Or can you never count on him?

Do you talk or are you afraid to?

Do you feel buoyed after a tough conversation or completely depleted, drained, exhausted? (Watch your energy levels around this person. They reveal a lot.)

Do you feel you trust despite difficulties, or are you full of suspicion even when things are going smoothly?

Do you feel safe or in danger, vulnerable, at risk?

Do you feel seen, loved, or diminished, belittled?

Is the relationship tough but fundamentally stable or volatile and full of constant drama?

Are you true to yourself or does the approval of the other person take precedence?

Are you clear on how far you are willing to go or is what you are willing to do a moving target you have maybe lost track of?

Remember when you said it would never be OK to be yelled at?

Does this person make you want to be better or bring out your worst possible side? Look. Look at who you have become.

The first is a healthy relationship. The second is a toxic one.

Bonus tip: the word "dependent" is a pretty solid indicator of a toxic relationship.

-Dushka Zapata