Openness Coupled With Critical Thinking

Openness coupled with critical thinking.

The simple truth is, most of the people around you are as good as dead. I don’t mean physically, but spiritually and emotionally.

The masses tend to adopt whatever half baked ideas and beliefs their parents had and then continue to live inside of those beliefs for their entire life without ever questioning their assumptions or challenging the premises.

They live their entire lives in a box. They identify with their beliefs so strongly that challenging them is tantamount to blasphemy.

But to live a good life…not just a life of luxury and wealth, but a meaningful, passionate, and fully engaged life… you must open yourself up to new ideas and ways of being.

The world is a big place. Filled with billions of people, almost all of whom have different beliefs, ideas, and ways of being than you do.

To shut yourself off to these ideas is a form of spiritual suicide. You stop growing and hold yourself back from experiencing some of the best this life has to offer.

To be truly successful and happy, you must be open to new ideas. You must be willing to test every assumption, to ask yourself, “Is this true? And if so, how can I know that it’s true?” You must be willing to take your most cherished beliefs and dash them against the rocks to see if they break.

Constantly seek out the truth and don’t be afraid to follow where it leads.

The more willing you are to be open to new ideas, the faster you’ll learn, grow, and evolve into the person you want to be.

However…

Be sure that you don’t take this to the extreme. There’s a difference between openness and gullibility. Consider every new idea and belief with the same critical eye and scrutiny you do your existing beliefs and always, always, always, seek the truth.

Because in the end…it will set you free.

Stay Grounded, 

Andrew Ferebee

I always wished for AIR 1 in JEE(Advanced)

I always wished for AIR 1 in JEE(Advanced). I didn't study aiming for a rank, but I wished for it.

When Chitraang Murdia got AIR 1(he is from the same city as mine), he was all over the media. The city front page was full of his interview. I was devastated. I wished I would be the first one to top JEE(Advanced) from Udaipur. But he shattered them. I was impressed by his performance as he had qualified all four INOs, a feat I couldn’t even think of. I felt jealous. I knew I could never reach his level.

But I didn't lose hope. I kept that piece of newspaper in my study table cupboard. I used to see it everyday, I wanted to be there.

I don't think any student in India or elsewhere could have worked harder than I did from classes 9 till 12. It simply isn't possible because I studied all the time except sleep. I even used to study in my school bus. I wished to have an Olympiad medal round my neck. I wished to get AIR 1 in KVPY, I wished I get AIR 1 in JEE(Advanced). I wished I could show the world what I am.

But I failed. I always failed. I could get to a fiftyish all India rank. Whatever exam I gave, all converged to an All India rank of 50 or below or something. Sometimes I got into top 10 in some exams(like INAO 2017, and few other exams like the SOF ones). I simply felt helpless when I saw people getting medals in IPhO in class 11, whereas I barely cleared stage 1 that time.

But there was one thing in me. I never gave up. I kept on studying. Never left my path. Never let the fire inside of me burn out.

I made a new year resolution for 2017 to get AIR 1 in both the exams. I wrote it at the top of my wish list (my friend made me make a wish list that year). But somewhere inside I knew that I am fooling myself. I won't make it. Still, time passed.

I achieved an all India rank one in JEE(Main) 2017. And I did make it to the front page, only that it was bigger in my case. I just topped a simple exam like JEE(Main) with full score. It wasn't that tough. But I know I deserved it. And I wasn't done yet. It wasn't my goal.

JEE(Advanced)- My dream exam. Those 6 hours, and years of immense dedication. Plus a lot of external pressure of expectations(I didn't let it affect me, or at least tried to, and I don't blame anyone). I got AIR 109. If you told my 9th class self that you are going to get AIR 109 I would have been destroyed.

But I wasn't this time. I learnt a lesson.

I worked sincerely. I put all my teenage years into IITJEE preparation. As you might say, I 'wasted my childhood'.

For what, an AIR 109?

No. I didn't achieve what I wanted, I achieved something more. I learnt the importance of hardwork. I got something unprecedented in JEE(Main), something which no one ever thought of. People say I was lucky. But I think I got that luck of 'no silly mistake' because of my hardwork. I cleared almost all exams with good ranks, which are held till 12th.

Lesson learnt- The things you want to achieve are sometimes not found in your final destination or what you aim for, but are found along the way of reaching that goal, in bits sometimes.

This journey called IITJEE preparation isn't a two year preparation and one day execution thing. It's more. The life lessons you learn along the way are much more important than the fact whether you make it to IITs or not.

Even at IITs, all students(I hope), or atleast me, derive inspiration from how hard they worked when they prepared for this exam. This is why JEE is different from other exams.

Work hard. It will manifest into a good result for sure. It would be something for which you could say-”It was worth it”.

Whether you make it or not, every second of sincere JEE preparation is always worth it, and makes unforgettable memories.

All the best!!!

-Kalpit Veerwal

How My Life Changed After Becoming an IAS Officer | OP Choudhary IAS (2005) | UPSC CSE Motivation

When I was young, my father once told me an interesting story

A poor man was sleeping peacefully under a banyan tree, when a businessman happened to pass through the village. He was surprised that the man, who had barely covered his body with a torn cloth, could sleep so peacefully even in daytime.

He awakened the poor man and asked—‘Why are you sleeping? Why don’t you work?’

The poor man questioned the businessman—‘Why should I work?’

‘Well, if you work, you will earn money,’ replied the businessman.

‘Then, what?’ asked the poor man again.

‘Then you can invest the money in business and make more money. So you will have lot of money,’ advised the businessman.

The poor man repeated his question—‘Then?’

‘Then you can enjoy your life,’ said the businessman.

‘But that is what I am doing,’ said the poor man.

And he slept again peacefully.

This story teaches us to live a simple life and avoid working hard.

This story tells us that we can enjoy happiness without having money.

This story projects the rich as foolish people who are running after money and failing to enjoy happiness in their life.

This story teaches us the virtue of being poor.

However, the fact of life is that you must not only earn what you need for today, but also you earn enough for your future.

Today, you can see millions of poor people walking hundreds of kilometres to their hometown because they have no savings to survive even for a few months.

It is heart-breaking to see the desperation of people who are breaking law and risking their lives simply to go back to their homes because they don’t have enough to fill the stomach of their family.

The lock-down has hardly affected the rich and middle class people who have secured jobs or sufficient savings.

The bitter truth of life is that poverty is the greatest curse for any human being.

If you are poor, you can’t live happily and honourably.

The people working hard to earn extra money are neither greedy nor fools.

Don’t get swayed by the one sided wisdom of such moral stories.

Work hard to have enough savings to sail through the difficult periods in your life.

-Awdhesh Singh

These are 9 Things I’ve seen sink some incredibly talented people:

1. Excuse-Making. There are no excuses in success - if you make it or don’t make it, it’s ultimately on you. If you are someone who comes up with endless reasons why things don’t work or can’t work, instead of finding solutions, you won’t make it.
2. Not Executing…Regularly. You can have the best ideas in the world, but if you don’t actually do something about them, you won’t go anywhere. Be someone who is a doer. It takes executing on things *regularly* to get ahead, because if you’re not, be assured other people are.
3. Lack of Self-Control. Unsuccessful people are not disciplined, easily distracted, procrastinate endlessly, get side-tracked, or want immediate gratification. Sit down, focus on one thing, and make it work.
4. Unwilling to Take Risks. You have got to take risks if you want to be successful…while you have to be smart about the risks you take, but you’ve got to take them to move ahead, it’s unavoidable. Sometimes you’ll win & sometimes you’ll lose on those risks, and that’s all part of forward progress.
5. An Unambitious Circle. Your social and friend circle should not be holding you back. Have people in your life who make you feel like you’re on fire, reaching for big things themselves or are actively encouraging you.
6. Impatience. Unless you hit the lottery or have some inheritance, to be successful, you have to play the long game. That means a lot of work happens behind the scenes before you reach your goals…and you can’t rush it. Impatient people end up giving up or quitting.
7. Fear. Most people *feel* fear - but successful people feel the fear and just keep going and push through it. Those that don’t succeed will hyperfocus on the fear - what might go wrong, what others will say, what might happen, and they let this fear hold them back from doing what they need to do.
8. Unwillingness to Learn. If you think you know everything, be prepared to fail. The only path to success is continuing to learn new things all the time. It doesn’t stop with your formal education because progress doesn’t stop…you have to constantly be learning, growing, learning.
9. Giving Up. If you’re going to do well in business, you are going to take some hits - financially, personally, and maybe even very publicly. Everyone gets hurt, angry, and frustrated by setbacks…but the ones that win get back on their feet and keep going.

   These are probably the top 9 enemies of success that I’ve seen. I’d be interested to see your thoughts and if people have others they’d add!

-Julie Gurner, I'm a doc of psychology

I'm not able to study at home due to corona lock down. Everyone's there at home and there is a lot of disturbance.

I will let you know my story so that you can relate it!

Basically, I live in a slum area of Kandivali and there always a noise disturbance around

I used to go to the library and study for my 1st drop-in neet preparation(which cost me my health and I was really not studying there properly, means effectively ) as the library was 1 hour far with bus

So, in neet 2018 my preparation was not that good, I was scoring fewer marks in my test, confidence was zero, and my health condition was worse!

I used to study in the library for 13 hours with just a single meal a day!

Now my neet 2017 marks were 215 (after 12th board my first attempt) and my 2018 marks were 479

That year I missed my government college cut off by 10 marks and I failed

That day I realized that nobody hell will listen to you if you are not selected, no one will understand your situation, no one will support you until and unless you are some special topper, no one will see your problems!

That changed my life

I prepared for neet 2019 and this time I studied in my home with all that f*cking bullshit noise issues and all which all think that it's a problem and give excuses! I studied effectively

So, this is the place where I studied, for my preparation

And scored

624 in neet 2019 and chooses Mumbai top medical college

So, my advise is that!

Don't find an excuse, find a solution!

REGARDS

VIKAS CHOUDHARY

KAIZEN ✍

Never share your next move to the whole world

Never share your next move to the whole world. Be mysterious, unpredictable and focused. That is one of the best techniques to improve ourselves. Certainly, it enhances our concentration level also.
 

Suppose, if you say to the whole world, “ I am writing my first novel.” You will never reach your goal or not even finish your few chapters of your manuscript. Or, if you want to establish your start-up company, don’t tell it too much to other people, just do it. Keep your passion secret inside you.

Generally success comes with hard work, sincere effort and intense concentration. If you share your next plan to the world by social media or other ways, your mind will be distracted by several ways. Even someone may joke with you to your goal, someone disbelieve, or someone may encourage you. But these things will take away your focus from your work.

Remember one thing, “Empty vessel sounds much”. Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Roger Federer, J.K Rowling-all the successful people had never shared their passion or next move to the world too much before getting success.

So, you may have lots of amazing ideas, plan, vision, ambition or passion. My advice is that work hard with smart way to achieve your goal. Nobody needs to know what you are doing.

Your passion and emotion is involved with only you, not the world. If you have the confidence in yourself, put your all dedication and effort in your passion instead of publicity. One day you will be rewarded and got several compliments beyond your imagination.

Stay focused and stay determined. Don't look to anyone else to be your determination - have self-determination. It will take you very far. -Justice Smith

-Shovan Chowdhury

IIT Tirupati

Let us look at the facilities on by one

1. Campus- The permanent(currently transit campus) is situated in the tirupati-venkatagiri road .The transit campus is situated in 30 acres with 6 hostel blocks (1 for girls,5 for boys),2 classroom complexes,1 computer lab,library,1 dining hall,basketball,volleyball courts,cricket,football grounds and an indoor stadium with 3 badminton courts,3 table tennis boards and a fully equipped gym with a trainer .It also has an State Bank of India ATM .The campus has an pleasant and peaceful atmosphere with a lot of greenery all around the campus.

2.Hostels-

All the hostels are newly built buildings. The management provide you with a bed,study table,a chair and a almirah. The toilets are common for every floor.They also provide a washing machine to each floor,a water purifier.A common room and a study room for each block and WIFI routers in each and every floor of all the blocks.

3.Dinning facility-

The dinning hall located in the transit campus can accommodate a total of 350 students at a stretch.The menu is maintained by the mess management committee and the mess secretary.

4.Classroom complex-

The classroom complex is a recently built building that started working from the January of 2020 .It consists of classrooms of kind 40 seater,60 seater and 120 seater.

The classroom is a 60 seater classroom.

5.Sports Facilities-

IIT Tirupati transit campus has a cricket ground,football ground,basketball and volleyball courts along with a tennis court.The indoor facility contains 3 badminton courts,2 table tennis courts and a fully equipped Gym with a trainer.Coaches are available for all the kinds of sports that are available in the campus.

6.Clubs & Fests-

IIT Tirupati has various kinds of clubs thoe are coordinated by students body itself.Various clubs in IITT are

1.PFC-Photography&films club

2.Sargam club-Singing club

3.Actomania, Aranya and etc.

-The annual fest of IIT Tirupati is TIRUTSAVA. Tirutsva will be held during the last week of January or in the first week of February. This fest completely organised by the student body itself.

Finally I conclude that every one whogets into IIT Tirupati can get all the facilities that are provided in the older iit's. The computer labs has a very highly configured systems,the faculty are highly qualified and very well experienced in their respective domains,so therefore one should see the opportunities to learn.

The construction of the of the permanent campus has also begun in a staged manner.

-Dheeraj Chilukuri, BTech from Indian Institute of Technology Tirupati (2023)

Personality Disorders do not go away on their own

Personality Disorders do not go away on their own. We have to work very hard to change them.

Why don’t they go away on their own?

The thinking patterns, coping mechanisms, behaviors, and deficits that are associated with the personality disorder are encoded in the brain as a set of maladaptive habits. As these habits started in early childhood and have been practiced over and over again, they are now the person’s automatic fallback responses.

This is somewhat similar to being born left handed, but being forced to use your right hand for everything since childhood. In the beginning, this will feel unnatural and awkward. By adulthood, the brain will have created multiple neuronal networks that support using the right hand automatically.

Becoming right handed does not wear off with time. Instead it feels normal and natural. The person would have to work very hard to stop their automatic right handed responses and relearn how to use their left hand for everything.

How do you change these maladaptive personality disorder habits?

Step 1—Bring the habits into awareness.

The whole point of forming habits is to free up our cognitive capacity to deal with novelty. Anything we do repetitively is no longer novel. It would be a great waste of time if we could not form habits because we would have to make 100’s of decisions every day.

To change a habit (which by virtue of being a habit is now automatic and done without awareness), we have to bring it into awareness.

Step 2—Make a decision.

Once you realize that you have been habitually and automatically doing a particular behavior without thought, you can revisit this behavior and decide if you want to change it.

Step 3—Decide on a more productive behavior.

You cannot just give something up. You need to decide what you want to do instead. This involves thinking about possible alternative behaviors that would improve your life and choosing one to replace the maladaptive old one you are giving up.

Step 4—Inhibit the old behavior and substitute the new.

Now we are up to the hard part. We have to stay aware. We cannot rely on our first response to situations because that is the response we want to change. When we are tempted to do what feels natural, we have to stop, and substitute the new behavior. We may have to do this 100’s of times for each new habit we want to form.

Why is this so hard?

Imagine you are on a nice big smooth road through the jungle. It is very simple to get through the jungle by staying on this road. Unfortunately, it does not go where you want to go. Every time you take it, you end up someplace you do not want to be.

To get where you want to go, you have to hack a new road through the jungle. Every foot is hard. You have to cut down trees and use a machete to chop away bushes and anything else in your way.

This is very hard work and it may take years to complete. It is very tempting to take the easy path instead, the one you do automatically. It takes grit, persistence, and lots of motivation to keep building the new road.

Punchline: Once you have a personality disorder, you will have it forever unless you are willing to do the hard work necessary to change. Personality disorders can be thought of as deeply ingrained habits—and we all know how hard it is to change our habits.

Elinor Greenberg, PhD, CGP

Signs of Narcissistic Household

• Nothing of what you do is correct.

You must not talk, but you must not be silent. You must not disagree, but when you agree, they change the plan. You must not show emotions, but you must not keep a neutral face. You cannot succeed but you must not fail, and average results are not accepted.

• You are required to accept anything happening to you.

You must pretend everything is fine when nothing is. You are not allowed to stop smiling no matter how broken you are. You must never call them out on anything. You have no right.

• Always listen, speak only when asked to do so.

They do not want to hear you unless you talk to approve what they say, or to say what they want you to say.

• You are not allowed to choose anything.

The narcissist always knows better than everyone about everything and is the only one able to choose. You cannot trust your reasoning to make choices, because they know better than you what is good (i.e. bad) for you.

• Everything you say, think, feel, want, like or are interested in, is wrong.

The narcissist will never agree with you on anything. When you agree with them, they change their opinion to keep disagreeing with you. You must not contradict them because they are always right and you are always wrong.

• Your needs are irrelevant.

They are an inconvenience to the narcissist. Their attention is all drawn to themselves, and yours must be all drawn to them too.

• Nothing is what you think it is.

You are the delusional one. Your memories are all twisted, your perception of reality is twisted, you do not actually feel what you think you feel, you are not sick when you feel and say you are, you need nothing of what you think you need, and they never abused you, you only imagined it all. They will always cover up their abuse and make sure no one believes you, including yourself.

• Everything is your fault.

Every wrong thing they did is blamed on you. You either caused them to do it, did it yourself, deserved it, or it was not that bad and you are overreacting.

Divorce

When I was six my friend told me she wasn't allowed to come over to my house to play because my parents were divorced.

She said the word "divorce" like it was dirty.

I went home and asked my mom if divorce was contagious.

Despite what everyone was saying, my parents went ahead and split up anyway.

This is how I learned very early in life that the pursuit of your own happiness trumps what anyone may or may not be saying about you.

This incident occurred about 40 years ago. In that time, I've learned a lot more about gossip.

Here is a summary:

People talk less about you than you think. They have the audacity to be too preoccupied with themselves to be concerned about you.

Why do people gossip? Because tearing someone else down is evidence that you are unhappy with a part of your own life. The happier you are, the less you will criticize someone else, and the more empathy you will feel for what they are going through.

What someone says about you when they are unhappy with themselves is more about them than it is about you. As such, it's not ever a good guide for how to live your life. Don't make decisions based on what others might think or say. It will steer you wrong every time.

The busier you are working on you, your life and your happiness, the less time you will have to talk about others.

And even better, the less time you will have to show any concern for what others say about you.

I am a deeply flawed person. I have a lot of work to do and as such I have no time to waste.

To directly answer your question, I neither know nor am worried about anything anyone has to say about me, true or otherwise; and neither should you.

-Dushka Zapata