I always wished for AIR 1 in JEE(Advanced)

I always wished for AIR 1 in JEE(Advanced). I didn't study aiming for a rank, but I wished for it.

When Chitraang Murdia got AIR 1(he is from the same city as mine), he was all over the media. The city front page was full of his interview. I was devastated. I wished I would be the first one to top JEE(Advanced) from Udaipur. But he shattered them. I was impressed by his performance as he had qualified all four INOs, a feat I couldn’t even think of. I felt jealous. I knew I could never reach his level.

But I didn't lose hope. I kept that piece of newspaper in my study table cupboard. I used to see it everyday, I wanted to be there.

I don't think any student in India or elsewhere could have worked harder than I did from classes 9 till 12. It simply isn't possible because I studied all the time except sleep. I even used to study in my school bus. I wished to have an Olympiad medal round my neck. I wished to get AIR 1 in KVPY, I wished I get AIR 1 in JEE(Advanced). I wished I could show the world what I am.

But I failed. I always failed. I could get to a fiftyish all India rank. Whatever exam I gave, all converged to an All India rank of 50 or below or something. Sometimes I got into top 10 in some exams(like INAO 2017, and few other exams like the SOF ones). I simply felt helpless when I saw people getting medals in IPhO in class 11, whereas I barely cleared stage 1 that time.

But there was one thing in me. I never gave up. I kept on studying. Never left my path. Never let the fire inside of me burn out.

I made a new year resolution for 2017 to get AIR 1 in both the exams. I wrote it at the top of my wish list (my friend made me make a wish list that year). But somewhere inside I knew that I am fooling myself. I won't make it. Still, time passed.

I achieved an all India rank one in JEE(Main) 2017. And I did make it to the front page, only that it was bigger in my case. I just topped a simple exam like JEE(Main) with full score. It wasn't that tough. But I know I deserved it. And I wasn't done yet. It wasn't my goal.

JEE(Advanced)- My dream exam. Those 6 hours, and years of immense dedication. Plus a lot of external pressure of expectations(I didn't let it affect me, or at least tried to, and I don't blame anyone). I got AIR 109. If you told my 9th class self that you are going to get AIR 109 I would have been destroyed.

But I wasn't this time. I learnt a lesson.

I worked sincerely. I put all my teenage years into IITJEE preparation. As you might say, I 'wasted my childhood'.

For what, an AIR 109?

No. I didn't achieve what I wanted, I achieved something more. I learnt the importance of hardwork. I got something unprecedented in JEE(Main), something which no one ever thought of. People say I was lucky. But I think I got that luck of 'no silly mistake' because of my hardwork. I cleared almost all exams with good ranks, which are held till 12th.

Lesson learnt- The things you want to achieve are sometimes not found in your final destination or what you aim for, but are found along the way of reaching that goal, in bits sometimes.

This journey called IITJEE preparation isn't a two year preparation and one day execution thing. It's more. The life lessons you learn along the way are much more important than the fact whether you make it to IITs or not.

Even at IITs, all students(I hope), or atleast me, derive inspiration from how hard they worked when they prepared for this exam. This is why JEE is different from other exams.

Work hard. It will manifest into a good result for sure. It would be something for which you could say-”It was worth it”.

Whether you make it or not, every second of sincere JEE preparation is always worth it, and makes unforgettable memories.

All the best!!!

-Kalpit Veerwal