How I worked hard for IITJEE

Short Answer: Motivation

 

Long Answer:

 

Through out my life, up until this point, I have worked much harder than average.
 

How do I know that? I just do.

 

When I was preparing for JEE

 

I’d wake up at 4 am every single day, weekends or not, and keep the same schedule 3 straight years, the last one being my drop year. I had a strict schedule and I tried my very best to not divert from it.

My motivation for the first two years was that I wanted to do it for my parents.
 

Not really a good one, right? But it still worked.

 

 

And then, when I couldn’t make it in my first attempt, and when I was on the verge of not taking a drop, the mere thought of being able to lift my head with pride if I were to clear the exam after my drop year, added as an additional motivation. It was strong enough to help me persist for another year.

 

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When I was in college

 

There were times when my college mates would ask me often, how do I continue studying sincerely even after making it into an IIT. The answer was simple - I had motivation(s).

 

I had put 3 years of my life getting into a top college. I knew the value of those three years more than most people and there was no way I would have let them be for nothing By not making the most of the opportunity of studying in an IIT.

 

And so, for another five years, while most people would study in the last minute, I would start earlier and made sure I did the best I could, trying not to think much of the end result and believing in my process.

 

 

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When I started working

 

Work life balance is supposed to be better if you’re working in a place like London, or so most people in India would think, but not when you’re working in a start-up filled with people who want to learn quickly and grow fast.

 

Almost every single day I have worked here, I have put 12–14 hours on an average, stretching up to 16 hours at times. All that, because I had reasons to do so.

• There is no such thing as job security in any company. Especially when you’re away from home, you can’t take it lightly.
• And when you’re the only earning member in your family, you have to make sure you do enough to not just make your job safe, but also earn enough to give your family a good life.

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Many answers would have already used the cliche of working smart and not working hard. While that’s true to a certain extent, you still got to work hard.

 

You may find it difficult to find the right motivation for everything you do. But trust me, if you invest enough time finding it, working hard isn’t really so hard.

 

-Anshul Sharma ,IIT-R Graduate

I studied during my drop year in store room

 

After 12th I decided to prepare for neet. I joined aakash Institute but you've to study at home too. Due to lack of space I used to study everyday on roof and there was this bathroom with no door. It was used for storing ultra extra stuff e.g. coolers during the period of winters.

 

I decided to make the little space that was still left there in that bathroom, my study place. (There was no fan, no light but sunlight😂)

 

I cleaned that place myself. There was a wooden box I made it my chair. And since I had no study table( since it was 2–3k costly) . Me and my papa made one ourselves by using 3 wooden planks.

 

I was there without fan during hot dry summers and believe me I enjoyed that feeling of breeze cooling the sweating me. When I used to get tired I would lye over the cot and look at sky. I preferred sky over human interaction .

 

When it was cold I would cover that door space with discarded bedsheets.

 

A year later, I cleared neet, joined ucms .

 

I've not achieved much in my life. I still fail but I still learn.

 

We lose when we lose in our mind. Never pitty on yourself and never let others do the same to you. Keep that self respect priority over any feeling.

 

I would say I learned from those days. There is always a way till there's a spark 🔥.

  

 

Here you can see cot, my study table, my chair, over chair that red thing is bedsheet. In the left there's ultra cooler.

 

The photo was taken on diwali, I never used this place during night : 2 reasons : mosquitos (I can bear with) , second : black cat ( kaali beeli) ( I can't bear with🏳)

-Atul Agnii, Mbbs from University College of Medical Sciences, University of Delhi

A self confident person:

Can distinguish reality from her insecurity. For example: I don't need to get everything perfect, I don't need to compare myself to others, I know that when I feel nobody understands me I have to work on understanding myself.

Feels gossip and putting others down is a waste of time and cannot be bothered with it.

Knows who she is and what she wants. This is because the need for approval does not override her own voice.

She is transparent. She expresses what she thinks and what she likes. She is not afraid of not being liked for who she is so she has nothing to hide.

She craves time alone. She does not need to be constantly distracted and feels like being alone = being in the best company.

She treats herself well. She is her own best friend. Her inner narrative is kind.

She takes care of herself. She eats well, goes to the doctor, does things she enjoys as a gift to herself.

She does healthy things. Goodbye, toxic relationships (even if I still love you.) Goodbye, job where I'm not appreciated. I deserve better, and I'm going to go find it.

She recognizes her own efforts. Even if no one knows the effort she just went through, she knows. She feels proud of herself.

 -Dushka Zapata

Any Indian Scientist or Economist did not get Nobel Prize while working in India.Here's Why......

The answer to this question was given by Jesus Christ in the following parable.
 

“Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed,

• some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up.
• Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.
• Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain.
• Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, some multiplying thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times.””

( Mark 4:3-9)

Abhijeet Banerjee is not the only one who got glory because he went abroad.

 

In the 72 years of independent India, not a single Indian scientist or economist got Nobel Prize while working in India.

 

Even the best seeds need good soil to grow.

 

When you have no respect for intellectuals and you declare any voice of dissent as sedition, you can’t allow creativity and innovation to flourish in your country.

 

As long as people towing the official line are worshiped and rest are declared anti-national for speaking what they consider truth, there is no hope for any Nobel Prize in India.

 

-Awdhesh Singh

This mindset is not conducive to creating successful longterm relationships

Many men with Narcissistic Personality Disorder long for satisfying relationships, but lack the ability to have them. They can usually do the courtship phase quite well because it does not involve real intimacy. It is exciting and the goal is simple: Convince the woman to love you and forsake other men.
 

• Narcissistic Men Are Often Unrealistic about Women

If they think past the courtship at all, it is to have unrealistic fantasies that they have found the female equivalent of a unicorn—the rare precious woman who they will treasure always.

• She will be perfect.
• She will never annoy or bore him.
• She will always look great.
• She will continuously adore him.

Unfortunately, as women are real people and relationships never go perfectly smoothly, they do not get what they expect. Instead they find themselves in the awkward position of having sworn to love a woman when they do not even love themselves.
 

It does not matter what the woman does or how beautiful and interesting she is. Narcissistic men will create big fights out of small issues.
 

The Narcissistic mindset is not conducive to creating successful longterm relationships. When things do not go exactly their way and the woman does not fulfill their every fantasy, they do not know what to do except blame her:
 

I was misled by you! I am so disappointed! You need to try harder. This is all your fault!
 

At this point, they either coldly withdraw, berate her, or make unrealistic demands that she change to suit them. From this point on, the relationship usually goes rapidly downhill.

 

Why does the relationship fail?
 

Although the women who love Narcissists are not perfect themselves and make their share of relationship mistakes, most of the responsibility for the relationship’s failures are due to the Narcissistic man’s lack of ability and willingness to take his share of responsibility when things go wrong and make mutually beneficial compromises.
 

So is it your fault that your Narcissistic mate is devaluing you?
 

No, their dissatisfaction with you is the result of their unrealistic expectations and lack of relationship skills. They blame you because:
 

• They do not want to see their own flaws.
• They do not want to see the role they play in wrecking the relationship.
• They are perfectionists and are holding you to unreasonable standards.
• They are extremely self-centered.
• They do not want to give up anything they value for the sake of the relationship.
• They tell themselves that they picked the wrong woman and this would all go better with a different woman.
• They are not prepared for the hard work, negotiations, and compromise that are part of all successful relationships.

                           Punchline: Narcissists are extremely self-centered, hierarchical, lack emotional empathy, and have difficulty compromising and treating their mate as an equal. They entered the relationship with these deficits and it is highly unlikely that there is anything you can do to change them.

 

Elinor Greenberg, PhD,

Do not Avoid Negativity

 

You should be always positive

-This is what we all have heard all way growing,

Believe in Yourself in what your parents and teacher might have said

But, what if I told you that those words are are only the half-truth.

People these days are unhappy not because they lack positivity but they lack the ability to understand the negativity.

Before Clicking onto this answer, you might have thought that— Oh ! Now I will get to know some tricks to avoid my negative emotions. But Have you ever taken some time to think, from where these emotions are coming?

• Is it from your Social Circle?
• Is it from your family?
• Is it from where you live?

Their many questions to ask yourself, Ultra-positive people are deluded by the reality of the world, they have confidence but lack clarity.

Be an optimist, but question everything, Embrace negativity and understand not to avoid.

Here is a beautiful Sanskrit Verse From Bhagavad Gita—

सुखदु:खे समे कृत्वा लाभालाभौ जयाजयौ |
ततो युद्धाय युज्यस्व नैवं पापमवाप्स्यसि || 38||

happiness and distress should be treated alike; gain, loss, victory, and defeat.

if Fought for the right reasons, no sin shall incur.

I cannot change people’s perceptions.

I cannot change how people perceive me.

I cannot change another person’s emotions.

I cannot change another person’s behavior.

I cannot fix or save anyone.

I cannot change the past.

I can change myself.
  
-Dushka Zapata

I have a brown skin tone. Till 15 years old, I did not like getting clicked as I would not look good among all my fair-skinned friends. I was not comfortable in my own skin.

 

I do not remember how and when did I change my perspective but I changed. I started clicking my pictures. I became my favorite. I fell in love with myself. I realized that it's okay to have flaws. It’s okay to have dark skin. It’s okay to have pimples. It’s okay to have scars. It’s okay to not have a pointed nose. It’s okay to not have a chiseled jawline. It’s okay if I am not the head-turner in a picture or a room.

   

I wish I had received this piece of advice earlier. I would have got a lot more pictures of myself. I would have fallen in love with myself before. I would have got more comfortable with myself before.

To all the boys and girls, to all the men and women, if you are reading this, do not get late in falling for yourself. Remember that no one is perfect. As long as you are comfortable and content with yourself, no one can harm you. No one can demean you. No one can let you down. You just have to believe in yourself. Accept yourself. You will do much better in life when you will be confident about yourself. :-)

  

Every one of us needs to show how much we care for each other and, in the process, care for ourselves. - Princess Diana

 

  

  

 -Nishu Jain

Firstly, stop creating false beliefs in your mind

Education only for wealthy and rich?

Education is among the few things in the world that money can’t buy.

If education would have been reserved for wealthy and elite, only the children of rich and educated people would have been in top colleges and jobs or become scientists, doctors, economists or writers.
 

You can easily see many people coming from poor family with uneducated parents getting top class education due to their own efforts.

It is due to his own effort that Mr Govind Jaiswal, the son of a riksha-pullar became and IAS officer.

It is due to personal effort that Dr Kalam, a son of a poor person who has to sell newspaper to supplement his family’s income became a top scientist and the President of India.
 

You can find numerous examples where children from poor family got top level education due to their own effort.

I am also one of those who was brought up in a middle class family and always studied in Government or Missionary school. I have never paid a fee of more than Rs 20 per month for my education and yet acquired the highest level of education ( B Tech, M Tech and PhD), became an IRS officer and a writer.
 

When there is a will, there is a way.

If you decide to get educated, no one can stop your journey.

If you don’t like studies, even the richest parents of the world can’t buy you any education.
 

-Dr.Awdhesh Singh


{Blogger's Note : Watch this video By IAS Govind Jaiswal Whose father was a rickshaw puller 

}

I’m going to tell you the story of how I killed a patient

 

I was in my 3rd year of medical school. I had just started my clinical rotations. I had just come off of my psychiatry rotation and was starting my internal medicine rotation.

 

In teaching hospitals, you operate as a team. You have an attending who leads a team comprised of residents, interns, medical students and the occasional pharmacist.

 

 I was nervous when I learned of who my attending was, because everyone had warned me that she was the one you didn’t want to get. She was very exacting and brilliant.

It did not take me long to realize that I was actually lucky…BECAUSE she was so exacting and brilliant, and held such high standards for her team.

 

As a medical student, you get assigned a few patients, or pick up some new ones when you admit them from the ER. Every day, you go see your patients (round on them), perform a physical exam, write a note, and write your orders. Your intern or resident then comes along later and co-signs your note and your orders if they agree with it. Later you all round as a team on each patient and discuss each patient.

  

 This is where a lot of the teaching occurs as the attending teaches the residents or the residents teach the students. As a student, you are asked numerous questions designed to test your knowledge. Generally these questions continue until you stop getting the answers right. Then you know the area you need to study later that evening.

  

             Medical students don’t have a lot of autonomy or authority. A nurse cannot follow the order of a medical student until an actual doctor co-signs it. As a medical student, your primary purpose is to learn and to one day become a good doctor.

  

     My internal medicine rotation was at a VA Hospital. These hospitals are among the only places where beer is regularly served on the dinner trays. We were caring for veterans. Many of them were alcoholics.

  

One of my first assigned patients was an elderly gentleman who had been hospitalized for over a month when I started my rotation. He had metastatic colon cancer. By the time I was assigned him, he had not been fed in several days. He had a bulky tumor within his bowel, and everyone was afraid it would rupture if he took food.

 

   He was receiving some sustenance in the form of IV nutrition, which is completely unsatisfying. The first few times I saw him, he tolerated my history taking and physical exam. Not long after, however, he had a one track mind.

”Please can I have something to eat??” he’d beg me.

 

I would apologize profusely. I would explain that the surgeon didn’t want him to eat. I explained that his oncologist didn’t want him to eat. And every day he looked dejected.

 

One by one, all of the doctors signed off (the surgeon and the oncologist and the radiation oncologist etc.). There was nothing they could do for him.

  

 Finally, we were the only team remaining to care for him.

 My resident seemed to be at a loss. He looked at me.

”What do you think we should do?” he asked, and waited for my reply. It was the first time a medical doctor genuinely wanted my opinion.

”I think we should feed him,” I replied without hesitation.

I wrote the order and he cosigned it.

 

    I went into my patient’s room when the dinner trays came in. He looked like a child on Christmas when I told him he could eat. He maintained a huge smile in between bites.

  

He died that night.

 

I still regret it.

 

 I regret that I gave him that tray of hospital food instead of finding out his favorite meal and making it for him.

-Lacy Windham

What is cognitive dissonance?

“Cognitive dissonance” is a psychology term that refers to the situation when our behavior and our beliefs differ—and we realize that. This creates an inner conflict. To reconcile cognitive dissonance, you either have to change your beliefs to match your behavior, or change your behavior to match your beliefs.

 

How does cognitive dissonance relate to narcissistic abuse?

 

Imagine that you are living with a Narcissist that you love, who you believe loves you. Then your narcissistic partner abuses you. Now you are faced with reconciling your beliefs that someone who says they love you and who you love would never knowingly hurt you, and the fact that your narcissistic lover is doing exactly that. This creates cognitive dissonance in the abused partner.
 

Do narcissists feel cognitive dissonance when they abuse someone they claim to love?
 

Not in my experience. Narcissists will avoid having this type of inner conflict by a variety of different defensive strategies:
 

• Denial—I never said that.
• Blame—It is entirely your fault that this happened. I only did (fill in the blank with something awful) because you did (fill in the blank).
• Rewriting History—You started this fight, not me. And then you kept escalating it.
• Justification—I was just defending myself against your attack.
• Gaslighting—You are just imagining things.

  
Punchline: Most people who have been abused by the Narcissist in their life who claimed to love them, cannot reconcile that with their idea that love and abuse do not go together. As a result, they experience cognitive dissonance.

 

-Elinor Greenberg, PhD