If there is one thing I really gained from my college degrees,it is.....................

If there is one thing I really gained from my college degrees, it is “perspective”. Everything else, including knowledge, was just a by-product.

Perspective about how to set ambitious goals, both academically and personally. Perspective on how to set about achieving those goals.

Perspective on how to manage multiple deadlines at the same time. Perspective on how to manage time efficiently and effectively.

Perspective on which career path to pursue in life. Perspective on how to prepare myself to succeed in that chosen career path.

Perspective on how to create new friendships and maintain existing friendships. Perspective on how to differentiate between true and fake friendships.

Perspective on how to become a more confident person. Perspective on how to imbibe that confidence in every aspect of my life.

Perspective on the importance of pursuing hobbies in life. Perspective on how to achieve that crucial balance between work and life.

Knowledge, friendships, mentors, confidence, career - these are all by-products. Perspective is the single most important learning from my college life.

-Rohan Jain,B.Tech IIT-K, PGDM IIM-A

How earlier Generation became wealthy smoothly while today, even "successful" frugal people struggle....?

1. They didn’t spend money on cable/satellite TV, cell phones, internet access, monthly subscriptions for video games, or any of the other crap people spend money on today.

 

2. Most meals were prepared at home. At work, you brought your lunch with you.

 

3. Taking the family out to a restaurant for dinner was a special treat, and usually planned in advance. It was rare. It was never because you “didn’t feel like cooking today”.

 

4. The idea of paying for bottled water would seem ridiculous.

 

5. They didn’t stand in line at Starbucks buying overpriced coffee.

 

6. They didn’t buy junk they didn’t really need unless they were willing to part with their hard-earned CASH for it. Credit card use was minimal.

   

7. Anything they had to finance, such as a car or a house, was accompanied with a large down payment. Loans were rare. Being upside down on a loan was more rare. They didn’t buy a bigger house than they needed, or a more expensive car than they needed.   
8. They committed to putting a portion of each paycheck into their savings account.

9. No impulse buying. No online shopping, no Amazon same day delivery. Selection was limited to what was locally available, and you had to physically go look for it and pay cash. Spending money required effort.

 

10. Less spending on entertainment in general. Most homes didn’t have a TV in every room - there was one TV in the living room, and it wasn’t something engineered to rival the local movie theater. Separate TV’s in the kids rooms were unheard of, they didn’t need that.

 

11. There were no cabinets full of specialized cleaning products. You didn’t need a separate cleaner for your stove, your windows, your counter tops, etc. You had one cleaner for wood, and one cleaner for everything else. You may have made one or both of these cleaners yourself. Many families made their own laundry detergent. (My wife still does this).

  

12. Energy costs were lower because you didn’t have a million devices in your home using electricity. You turned lights off when you left the room. You would yell at your kids if they forgot. Today, people leave their TV on all day on music channels so the freaking dog has something to listen to. You didn’t need a $500 app-controlled blender.

 

13. You made your coffee by the pot, not by the cup. An 18 pack of basic Folgers K-cups costs $10, while a can of the same Folgers grounds that will make 125 cups costs $11. Let that math sink in… $10 for 18 servings vs $11 for 125 servings.

 

 

14. People spent less on transportation; they didn’t move an hour away from their job because “you can get a bigger house there”. They got a smaller place near where they worked, and pocketed the savings. They bought a car that met their transportation needs. Cars were only considered a “status symbol” if you were already wealthy. If you weren’t rich, you didn’t care as long as it worked and fit all of your stuff. If it broke, you read the owners manual and figured out how to fix it yourself, or you took it to a mechanic. If you still owed money on it, you would never have traded it for another car until it was paid off.

   

15. Saying “I can’t afford it” was perfectly acceptable. You didn’t need to keep up with the Joneses. If your neighbor was more successful than you, you thought “good for him” - you didn’t resent him, or think the government should do something to make life more fair. If your friends wanted to take a group vacation, and you couldn’t afford to do it, you said “Sorry, maybe next time.” - you didn’t say “Sounds great!” and put it on a credit card.

 

16. They shopped by price, not by payment.

 

The second part of your question is wrong though; successful frugal people don’t struggle with these things today either. It’s just that most people aren’t doing them. Look at your paycheck - then imagine what your savings account could look like if that number wasn’t going out the door to monthly payments.
  

It’s just as easy to save money today as it was back then. You just have to have the will to do it.
  

-Ron Rule

Bounded by Your Degree?

I am currently pursuing PGDBA course and I am in my 2nd semester at IIT Kharagpur. I graduated in Civil Engineering from the same college in 2018 and have come now to study Business Analytics.

I have a Mathematics course on Regression this semester. The same course has been taken by a 3rd year junior of my department (Civil) as an Additional Course. He aims to do a minor in Mathematics along with a bachelor’s degree in Civil Engineering.

I also have a Computer Science course here where the professor has not been able to take in more students as the seats for it are full. Many undergraduate 3rd year students from departments other than CS have taken this as an additional course which resulted in limiting seats for it.

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You see, students are now aware, and they understand that their education is not limited to the courses their department offers which was allotted on the basis of their JEE rank.

And that is a very important thing to note. Your career is not bound by your JEE rank now, or by the degree you get when you graduate. There are opportunities available that can enable you to apply for companies you dream of at the end of 4 years during placements. Institutes provide you with such opportunities where you can take any subject outside your department as an additional course if its slots do not clash with your department timetable.

Obviously, you would have to work harder in the college – you would have to clear a set of courses required to get a minor in your desired department which would mean perhaps 5-6 hours of classes extra every week every semester.

But that’s OK, work harder now than the ones who did it before IIT. Acknowledge the fact that you haven’t lost it if you got a poor JEE rank, and IITJEE is not everything nowadays.

So, there may be a case where you and your CS friend apply for the same company and both of you get selected or you do but he/she doesn’t during placements. Certainly possible, because in today’s world all that matters at the end is your skills, not your JEE rank or your degree

-Rajat Gupta,B.Tech(Civil)-IITKGP,Doing PGDBA from IIM+IIT+ISI

Whats your typing and reading speed?

I can type and read fairly well, probably type at 50wpm and read at 500wpm. In school I went for both a typewriting class and a reading course.  Besides some certificates (such as Indian government's "lower" exam) that I don't even know where they are, those courses were practically useless. But, both classes gave me very diverse reading material to learn. The first week at my typing class, my course content involved some interesting thesis connecting gypsies of Romania and Indians. Internet didn't fully come to India at that time, thus such random discoveries of information were precious enough for me stick on to such courses. 

At one point, I set out to read every article in World Book and Encarta (precursors to Wikipedia) but after a few thousand articles felt that I would never be able to finish ever. I consume more than 200-300 pages of information on an average day and listen to 1 hour of audio book courses while driving. Nothing unusual. 

That said, treat information like fat. Both are very useful commodities that make up our survival. They were both very scarce a century ago. Both are very tempting. However, both are equally harmful when not assimilated well. I suffer from both temptations.

In our modern world, how many words can we read is akin to asking how many calories are present in a particular food.  More is not always better especially when the consumed content is not properly handled, categorized, and used effectively. 

While skimming a lot of useless reports is fine, be very careful when you consume serious text. When reading War and Peace, your WPM does not matter. It matters more how much you can connect the different characters in the setting of Napoleon's invasion in Moscow. Even if you read 25 words per minute, you are in for a spectacle. 

See each book as a map. It doesn't matter how well you memorize every point in that map. Value the journey you are going to undertake with that map. That exploration happens in your mind. The book provides various pointers to take that tour within your mind. You don't necessarily need to read more books. Even one book a month is good enough. In that moment, simulate the content in the mind, draw connections to existing points, and savor the journey.

-Balaji Viswanathan

Parents,Children,Low Self Worth,Unsuccess

Low self-esteem is a trait that can be transmitted from parent to child. There are two commonly encountered scenarios in which parents with low self-esteem interfere with their children acquiring a positive and stable sense of their own self-worth.

Scenario 1—We are worthless so you must be as well

In this scenario the parents have such low self-esteem that they cannot imagine that anyone they give birth to could possibly have value or be successful. They may consciously or unconsciously communicate this message to their children:

We are worthless, so you must be worthless as well.

The parents do not notice or point out their children’s strengths. Even when the children have successes, the parents either ignore them or say and do things that diminish their importance.

Example—The Spelling Bee

Harry wins his 3rd grade class’s Spelling Bee. The next step is for the best speller in each class to compete against each other for the title: Best Speller in the 3rd Grade. His parents assume that it is a fluke that Harry got this far, so they want to prepare him not to be too disappointed when he inevitably loses in the next round. Instead of praising Harry, they say:

Don’t get your hopes up. There are probably a lot better spellers than you in the 3rd grade. Be glad you got this far.

By the time he was grown, Harry was fully indoctrinated to believe that any successes that he had were probably lucky accidents. Because of his low self-esteem, Harry never felt equipped or entitled to go into the profession that really interested him. Instead, he aimed low and settled for a boring job and a life that was below what he was capable of achieving.

Scenario 2—Don’t think you are better than us

In this scenario, the father (usually) in the family is working at a blue collar job and resents everyone who has it easier or better than him. When his children show an aptitude for schoolwork or special talents of any kind, instead of feeling pride in their successes, he resents them.

Often this parent has narcissistic personality disorder and is afraid that if his children excel at anything, they will look down on him. He reacts to this fear by devaluing his children. He does not want them to have more self-esteem than he does—or a better life. His basic message to them is:

Don’t think you are better than me!

Example—Dan the Bond Salesman

Dan was raised in a working class family. His father Joe had started working right after high school. Now he is the superintendent in a big luxury building. He changes the tenants lightbulbs and does minor repairs. In return Joe gets a small salary and a free apartment for his family in the building’s basement.

Dan’s mother Maria came from an immigrant working class family. From her point of view, her life is good. She has a husband and children and when she wants to, she can earn extra money by cleaning tenants’ apartments. That and taking care of her three children and her husband keep her too busy to see that her son Dan is smart and should aim higher than his father’s job.

Dan’s first job is as temporary doorman, while one of the full time doormen is away on vacation. Dan’s father sees this as Dan’s likely career path, which would culminate in a stable union job as a permanent doorman. Joe sees no need for Dan to finish high school, let alone go to college. His view is that if this life is good enough for him, it should be good enough for his son.

One of the building’s tenants takes a liking to Dan the summer that he is the doorman. He encourages Dan and is the first person to ever suggest that he should go to college. Dan has low self-esteem, but with this encouragement, he starts daring to dream that someday he might have a better life.

Cut to the future, Dan has a good head for numbers and is likable and polite. The tenant gives him a job in his firm and trains him to be a bond salesman. Dan is now married with a family and making good money. But..inside he still feels as if he is not really entitled to be this successful. He still feels as if he needs his father’s approval.

Dan has just bought a new Mercedes Benz and goes home to his parents, hoping that his father will be proud of him. His father takes one look at the car and says: Don’t think coming here in your fancy car makes you better than me! You are still just a little shit acting like a big shot!

Punchline: Although not every child raised by parents with low self-esteem develop that problem, without other protective factors, it can be an outcome.

Elinor Greenberg, PhD

Poverty has its own beauty.

Poverty has its own beauty.

Shailendra used to stay in the room next to mine in my Patna days. A kind of guy whom you never catch sleeping.

He would leave the room at 6 in the morning on his “Atlas” bicycle, which he inherited from his father, that cycle should have been put in a museum long back.

He used to cover 20–30 KMs every day giving tuitions to students from localities in Patna to barely cover his own expenses of studies. I had never seen him buying clothes, he was wearing same clothes from the time I remember, even his slippers had holes.

Whenever I insisted on these basic things, he would smile simply and say “Sab thik hai(it’s alright)”.

We all talked about our background but he never did, so we took him for a private person.

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There were 3 rooms on my floor and a kitchen, that kitchen was Shailendra’s room, rent was just 300 a month. Given we knew he covers his own expense it made sense to save money.

We all would cook our own food but eat together, sort of a tradition. We ate, cracked jokes, made fun of each other.

If Shailendra happened to join us, we knew what’s going to be on his plate — no surprises there its called “DBC” ~ “Daal Bhaat Chokha” [Rice, Potato, Lentils].

For well over six months I saw him eating Rice, it was always "rice" never a “chapati” or “Aalu paratha” or “Litti”. It was us who would share these things with him, and he would politely decline it unless we forced him.

It bugged me a lot. How can someone be so tasteless?

One day I asked him about it.

He humbly smiled but didn’t say a word. I asked him again.

“I don’t have a Tawa”.

“Well, you can use mine, heck why not buy one? What do you do with all the money you make from the tuitions.

His face turned pale.

So I decided to dig a little deeper.

And the truth was — His father was a retired carpenter with his share of old-age ailments. He had no paternal property just a mud house. Shailendra was the sole earner of his family. He used to send all the money to his home saving the bare minimum to survive in Patna.

His mother used to work in the paddy fields, and was paid with “Rice”. The same rice which Shailendra was consuming.

You may ask where is the beauty in this? — I have never met a student who was going through so much but didn’t let his friends get a hint about it. He knew if he opens his mouth help would come pouring from us. But, he didn’t seek help.

It was his own battle and he completely nailed it.

Today, Shailendra is working as a supervisor in an Ordnance factory. A proud central government employee.

Even today when we meet him. He is as humble as he was during those struggling days.

A Diamond Character.

-Saket Kumar

This is what you do when you judge and compare.....

Imagine that I am in a kitchen, and many people are preparing different appetizing dishes.

If I spend my time looking at what other people are doing, my dish will burn. It will be ruined.

If I focus on what I am doing, I can create it, prepare it, taste it, adjust it, and end up with the dish I imagined.

You stop comparing yourself to others through practice. It’s work that you keep coming back to.

And the good that comes out of it is a distinctive, scrumptious, perfect you.

-Dushka Zapata

RBI GRADE B Life Vs SBI PO Life

I would just explain my life before and after RBI grade B officer and then you would be able to guess how happy I am.

Before RBI

Work-Life

1. I was working with SBI as a Deputy Manager. (Joined SBI as a PO and got my 1st promotion in two years.)
2. My office timing was 10:00 AM to 8:00 PM (Actual, not official) and sometimes even more than that.
3. Holiday was not actually a holiday for me as I had to work on those days to clear pending work.
4. In the whole day, I had to deal with 100–200 people. At the end of the day, it was difficult for me to sleep as those conversations (mostly derogatory remark) used to linger in my mind.
5. Even though, I had to work a lot, I sometimes use to get opportunity to help people and those blessing /good words from old people/happy customer use to make my day. (Only silver lining)

Personal Life:

1. I was posted at my home-town. So basically was living with my family (Parents).I use to get home cooked food (maa ke hath ka khana).
2. Since, I was staying at home, I use to save good portion of my salary.
3. My office was 5 min distance from home, and that was a big relief after long day at work.
4. I was treated with high regard in the town and my parents use to feel proud seeing this.
5. There were girls who use to ask for contact no and message/call, but due to paucity of time and tiredness in evening, I could not respond to them. Stayed single. :(

In short, job with SBI was stressful and with no-work life balance.(Even though, i was staying at home, I could not spare time for family and friends.) Further, though the job was challenging and there was an opportunity to serve the people, I was somewhere feeling that I can serve my nation in far better way.

After Joining RBI

Work Life

1. I joined RBI as a Grade B officer(Manager) and posted in Mumbai.
2. I am posted at Department of Banking Supervision. (One of the most important department in RBI.)
3. My office timing is 9:45 to 5:45 and in case some extra work is there, I stay in office till 7:00 PM.
4. weekends are off ( both Saturday and Sunday) and I am always free to enjoy.
5. The day in office is quite busy, but I never felt tired.
6. Regarding work, we deal with some critical issues in the banking industry and sometimes what you did today, become headlines tomorrow in news.
7. RBI is well known for it’s talent pool. My colleague are pass-outs from IITs/IIMs, some even have degree/certifications from foreign university. Spending your day in association of these people provides you different perspectives and continuous encouragement to learn new things.

Personal life:

1. I got a decent two-bhk flat in Mumbai (leased accommodation), which is more than enough for a single person.
2. I am getting a decent salary which is enough to live a comfortable life for me.
3. I have to travel 2 hour daily (1 hr each side) to reach office which I hate the most.
4. I have a lot of free time to invest on myself. I use it for learning new thing/reading books, spend time with friends and mostly on weekends I go to home and spend time with family.
5. At any family function / gathering, when people came to know that I work in RBI as a Manager, they treat me like alien. Everyone treat with due respect and try to have a conversation with me.

Epilogue:

In RBI, I have a very well work-life balance and incentives to learn new things. Even though, we are not dealing directly with the public, we are working extremely hard in the back end to improve banking system.

Long story short: I am happy and living a dream of millions.

-Rohit Bharuka

Reading,Experience,Experiential Learning

1. Reading: forming and maintaining the habit (consistency) of reading is key to making it big in life. Readers (they say) are leaders. A reader today, a leader tomorrow. Show me a man who's consistent in his reading habit and I'll show you a man who's on his way to greatness. Reading is one of such secret of self made millionaires. The rich invest their money into themselve (in self development) while the poor spend it on material things (luxuries). They seek to know more in their profession and business. They seek to become better at what they do. They dedicate quality time and resources towards self development.

Why reading ?

• It keeps you informed.
• It gives you an edge over others. Knowledge is what you know that gives you an edge over others.
• It keeps you updated. Abreast of current trend.
• Keeps your mind refreshed. Keeps your mind renewed. Renewal of mind leads to life transformation.
• Gives you a possibility mentality. Going through the experiences of others (and seeing how they succeeded amidst challenges) builds up hope in you.
• Helps you leverage on other people's experiences. Experience is the best teacher, but it must not be your experience. Make other person's experience your teacher by going through their books and materials.
• Keeps you ahead of others. When you know what people don't know, it automatically places you on a higher pedestal (where you lead others). Amongst the blind, one eyed man becomes the king. When you've seen what others have not seen, you tend to act with more clarity and understanding.
• Sharpens your understanding. It sharpens your perception to things. It changes your view about people and things.

2. Physical Exercise: medical professionals usually recommend adequate exercise, sleep and feeding as the key requirements of being healthy. But unfortunately, exercise happens to one of such aspect of human activities that people pay little or zero attention to. They don't see the need for it. The result it produces is enormous. Bodily exercise profited greatly. It fosters sound health. It keeps your body fit for your day to day activities. It keeps your body serviced. When an engine is overused without regular servicing, it breaks down. Physical exercise is one of such means of servicing the body. Making it your daily habit will keep you fit and healthy to live a better life.

3. Mental Exercise: There's no limit to what you can achieve if you make it a habit of exercising your mind regularly. Regular exercising of your mind profits greatly. Worry depreciates a man, but thinking appreciates him. A thinking mind is a growing mind. Minds that don't think are like stagnant waters that sting. Thinking enables you release unwanted or unproductive thoughts, ideas, concept, knowledge and receive fresh and useful ones. A greater percentage of individuals in the world do not think. They don't put their brain to profitable use. The world is filled with people who never take out time to think about their life, their today and their tomorrow. They take whatever comes their way without taking time to reason why. It's thinkers that rule the world. Albert Einstein is one of the greatest thinkers that the world ever had, but it was discovered that he was only able to utilize a very small percentage of his intellect. It's those that put their brain to work that make things work in the world. Also it's those that use their head that go ahead in life. If you don't put your brain to use now to improve your life, soon others will pay you to use it for them.

I'm sure you got excess value. If you have any question or comment, kindly roll them in

-Joseph Isieturugo

MBBS-MD-DM. Struggle to be excellent doctor for...

15 years !!

Yes, that’s right. It is more than my entire school time from KG to class XII. Let me elaborate.

I got selected into MBBS course in UCMS & GTB Hospital, Delhi University, the same year as I completed my class XII board exams, after competing in one of the largest entrance exams in the world - AIPMT (All India Pre-Medical Test). MBBS spans 5 and a half years, four and half years of studying and 1 year rotatory internship.

Besides studies I was active in music as well. I used to play keyboard and drums. We formed a rock band by the name “resurrection”. We won a few prizes at various college fests too. We mostly played our self compositions. As MBBS was nearing completion we got an offer to record our first album. But that would mean a career in music and end of medicine. Most of us chose medicine and moved on.

I completed MBBS with 1 gold medal, 1 silver medal and a few awards. I was preparing for next medical entrance test which was even more difficult than the Pre-medical test. I joined classes and test series during final year of MBBS and internship as well.

The very next session I got selected for MD Medicine at the prestigious Pt. B.D. Sharma Postgraduate Institute of Medical Sciences, Rohtak. I completed MD in 3 years after which I decided to work as senior resident at a government hospital in Delhi. I worked there for 6 months. I got married during same time. My wife had just completed MS in Obstetrics & Gynecology. I decided to pursue a career in Rheumatology, the love for this branch grew in me while I was doing MD Medicine as my guide and mentor was a rheumatologist and my thesis was on rheumatoid arthritis.

I started preparing for the next entrance exam, needless to say the competition and difficulty level keeps on increasing at every level. I left my job of senior resident and started preparing for DM in Clinical Immunology and Rheumatology. I had hoped I will sail through like previous ones but I was wrong. I did not clear in first attempt. My friends consoled me saying, hardly anyone cracks DM in first attempt. There is a huge backlog of people giving exams every year and clearing even in 3rd or 4th attempts in not unusual. Keep on giving exams and you will succeed one day. I was giving all rheumatology exams and hoping for the best. I cleared a fellowship exam at the world renowned Christian Medical College, Vellore famously known as CMC, Vellore. I was thinking of starting preparation again for DM and not settle for the fellowship. It was a difficult call because CMC is the top most medical college in India in private sector and overall number 2 just after AIIMS, New Delhi. Accepting the CMC, Vellore offer was even more difficult as my wife was expecting and leaving her at this stage when she needed my support, was giving me nightmares.

However, certain factors made me accept the CMC offer and I decided to join there. My library buddy also got through the same fellowship and told me it will be easy as we will be support for each other. My parents said I should not leave this golden opportunity and join CMC. I looked into my wife’s eyes I knew she wanted me to stay but her words said that I should go. It was a very tough decision.

I joined CMC, Vellore. Vellore is a small town around 130 km west from Chennai airport. Vellore is famous for 2 things, CMC and VIT (Vellore Institute of Technology). There is even a counter of CMC hospital inquiry at the Vellore railway station. Local people speak Tamil. Very few would know Hindi or English. CMC caters to patient population from West Bengal, Bihar, Jharkhand plus all the southern states. Lot of international patients from Bangladesh, Bhutan, Nepal and middle east also come there for treatment. Learning experience at CMC was wonderful and world class.

During her last month of pregnancy, my wife’s blood pressure started to rise. Being an obstetrician herself she knew time had come before expected. I rushed to home to spend 21 days with her, the amount of leave I got. My son was born, probably the happiest moment of my life was holding my small baby in my hands. And to my surprise the pediatrician who handed him over to me was my junior from Med school and she instantly recognized me while I was thanking her.

Those 21 days passed by swiftly. I was almost in tears leaving them behind while entering the cab for the airport. I reached back to Vellore and I was in depression at that point of time, I think when I look back. I used to remain awake in nights, rush to hospital early in morning, return late in night and the cycle continued. Then something good happened. I thought of started to paint slowly learning from YouTube videos. My first online shopping ever was acrylic colors, brush set and a canvas. I used to paint in night, the time I used to remain awake before.

This is the first one I ever made.

Happier days were there just around the corner when my wife along with our son came to Vellore. My life changed. I felt home again. Despite the fact that my son didn’t recognize me as I used to leave before he used to wake up and came back after he had slept, I was still happy that he was around. My time in CMC, Vellore was about to get over. I had plans to move back to Delhi to be with my parents and start practice. But fate had something else in store for us.

My teachers at CMC, Vellore advised me to try for DM entrance exam one last time. They said you should do DM as well. So better try it now and don’t regret later for not giving a last attempt, as the age age cut off for DM exam is 35 years. I wasn’t even 30 that time. I understood their point and started preparing for the exam which was due just after 2 weeks. I filled only SGPGIMS, Lucknow form and no other institute’s forms. SGPGIMS is the best in the country for Clinical Immunology and Rheumatology training.

I got All India Rank - 1 in the DM entrance exam. My score was way ahead of other rankers. My rheumatology training at CMC, Vellore had paid off.

We started packing bags to Lucknow which was never on our list till a month back. All three of us moved to Lucknow. SGPGIMS is a wonderful place. It has lush green campus with comfortable homes. The campus houses a lake, small forest full of Nilgais (Indian antelope) besides school, bank, post office. Those 3 years passed rather pleasantly. I completed DM with a gold medal (best resident among all the medical specialties ). I also got selected for Indo-UK fellowship and spent some time at the Wolverhampton Rheumatology Centre, UK after completing DM.

Finally, I returned home and became a qualified rheumatologist.

Sharing a recent work (definitely some improvement from the first one).

-Suvrat Arya,MBBS,MD,DM

Parents: Obeying=Respecting?

My brother was selected as an Officer in ONGC, at that time, he was working as a PO in a nationalized bank.

He got a compulsory posting in Assam for 4 years. This was a golden opportunity, but due to fear and lack of knowledge, we were sceptical about sending him there.

My father firmly refused and asked him to stay.

He wanted to go and I also convinced and advised him to go, for a better future.

Finally, going against our father’s wish, he took the job offer.

Today, after four years, he is back in Delhi and has countless advantages over his previous job.

Our father is really happy that my brother didn't listen to his advice back then.

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Similarly, I married against my father's wish, he was very sceptical and judgemental about my wife's culture and background.

 And today, my father and my wife share a much better relationship than I share with my father and he is happy that I went against him.

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Our parents are our well-wishers - no doubt in that - but they are humans, and humans are not perfect, they run on their opinions, emotions and thought processes.

What they think is right may not be necessarily right and vice versa.

Thus, it's always important to listen to your parents, think about their view point; however, take a decision from your heart and soul, and most importantly: stand by it, even if you fail.

-Anubhav Jain