Have an identity for yourself, not your husband’s, not your father’s but yours - Carve your own path to success. You don’t have to marry a man just because you want to “settle” abroad, find a way yourself.

-Saranya Ravichandran

A wise man was sitting in his study room and reading literature.

He was mesmerized by the beauty of writing, and was literally feeling the book.

Suddenly, a young guy, in his late twenties arrived along with his father. He had recently lost his mother and was in deep agony and couldn't get over the loss. His father brought him to the wise man.

Even after noticing them and exchanging greetings, the wise man kept reading for a while.

After he completed the chapter, he looked at the father and son, and asked 'So, how is life?’

The father told him everything, while his son started weeping profusely.

The wise man, handed over a tissue to the young guy and said: 'Son, did you notice what was I doing, when you arrived?’

In broken voice the guy replied: 'Sir, you were reading a book.'

‘Okay, nice. You know, why did I keep reading even though you guys were waiting?’

'I don't know' the young guy replied.

‘Because it was a beautiful chapter and I wanted to read it in one go.’

Takes a pause and speaks again-

‘Son, I want an advice from you, shall I read this chapter again and again, or move ahead, and continue reading the book further'

The young guy thought for a few seconds and said-

‘Sir, you have already read the chapter with immense interest and dedication, it has been stored in your mind now, you can remember it any time, thus you must continue reading the other chapters'

The wise man smiled and said: ‘Thank you son, I will definitely follow your advice. Would you also like to follow the advice you just gave.’

‘I didn't get you Sir?’ The young guy replied in confusion.

‘Your life is nothing but a book. Chapter after chapter, life will keep unfolding itself, neither the most beautiful chapters will stay forever, nor the tough ones. You read a beautiful and long chapter in your mother. It was full of love, care, and selflessness, and now it has come to an end, you must end it graciously and keep it's memories alive, and move ahead with the book. If you get stuck here, you will ruin the spirit of the book of your life.’

The guy kept looking at the wise man with tears in his eyes for a while.

Wise man continued speaking: ‘I assure you that till you keep your mother alive in your memories, she would never die.’

The young guy nodded his head, as the wise man’s words created a huge impact on him.

Soon he got over with the immense grief of losing his mother, and remembered her wonderful memories.

---

The bookish advice which can do wonders to your thoughts us-

‘Every good thing in life shall come to an end one day or the other, we must cherish memories and move ahead in life, instead of prolonging the grief and staying in a state of disbelief.’

This advice can work for the smallest of things to the biggest of losses.

-Anubhav Jain

Embrace motherhood - You can be a modern woman, but your kid is going to search for you and only you, when he/she is hungry. Adore that miraculous feeling of motherhood!

  -Saranya Ravichandran

Toxic people exhibit these:

1. They belittle others in order to feel important.
2. They are very controlling and fear change.
3. They think that they know it all.
4. They love to gossip.
5. They do not want to hear of people’s great achievements. Normal people say congratulations.
6. They spread rumor about innocent people.
7. They always have troll questions to make your answer look bad.
8. They make fun of you just to make you look less.
9. They are extremely jealous.
10. They never admit to their mistakes.
11. They are outright narcissists.
12. They do not want to see others happy.
13. They always want their opinions to win.
14. They make fun of your dates, partners and spouses to make them and you look like a pair of losers.
15. They do not want to give others a chance to try.

Such losers are everywhere and we have to be very smart to defeat them everyday.

Let us not be toxic.

Welcome.

-Larry Lama

If you want the diamonds, you buy the diamonds - Be financially independent, pay your own bills and invest time in understanding your financials. Kill that “gold-digger” phrase. 

-Saranya Ravichandran

Whats the most intense thing a homeless man said to you?

It isn't what a homeless person said to me, but rather what I witnessed between the homeless man and my 2 (nearly 3) year old daughter…

I jumped on the bus with my daughter and pushed her pram into the buggy area..

It was then I noticed this man. Unkempt, smelling like old alcohol with the saddest, watery eyes.

He was in the seat right next to the buggy area and my daughter just kept smiling and staring at him.

I could see people get on and rather stand than take the seat next to him.

All the while my daughter kept looking and smiling..

She finally got his attention.

He looks up from his hands, looks at my daughter and she smiles again.

He smiles back.

My daughter reached out, touched his face and said “it's okay”.

He takes a deep, shaky breath.. tears start, the bus stops.

He stands up, says “thank you”, wipes his eyes and leaves the bus.

It probably doesn't even seem like such a big thing.. but it was intense to see my daughter feel this man's pain and just want to make it better when everyone around us just ignored another person so low…

-Stacey Duggan

So You Are......

My baby brother is finally an adult! He is moving to another country to pursue medical education!

The little kid who used to annoyingly scribble over my homework, pee all over the house, and basically acted like just any other unbalanced toddler, is now going to be a doctor!

For me, he will always be that kid but today I had to have a talk with him about being a responsible adult (especially in a foreign country).

This was my advice to him and all the other people here who are newly-turned/transitioning into adulthood. Taking it or leaving it is at your discretion :)

There is no space for ‘excuses’ or ‘giving up’ if you want to succeed.

I have suffered from depression

I have suffered from panic attacks

I have had suicidal thoughts

I have felt the utter dejection of not feeling a purpose in life

I cried myself to sleep and spent a lot of hours hiding in my blanket, isolating myself and simmering in my depression.

But despite all that, I turned up at work. I did my job.

Sometimes, I’d go and cry in the middle of the day in the dark equipment room. I would cry until there were no tears left. I would scream silently.

And then, I’d clean my face and finish my duties and responsibilities.

I could have just cited my mental state as a reason and given up on everything. But then all my dreams and ambitions would have died with it.

Not a lot of people get second chances so you need to make the best of what you got.

A lot of you will be taking student loans etc. to go to college. Or just investing in your future.

It will be very hard at times. You will feel like giving up. You will justify your excuses.

But listen to me, if you give up on making efforts, that loan will always chase you and pull you to the depths. If money is not a problem for you, remember that the feeling of not being able to unleash your full potential is extremely bitter.

The regret of ‘If I had tried a bit more, life would have been so different’ is very heartbreaking!

Take help, seek counsel, but don’t stop trying!

Being an adult means that you have to suffer the consequences of all your choices. You, just you.

So make the right choices! Fail or succeed, but never give up trying!

-

-Srishti Kotiyal

मैं अट्ठारह वर्ष की थी जब मेरे पिता की मौत हुई। मेरे पिता ही थे जो कमाते थे। सब कुछ बदल चुका था । रिश्तेदार आये और चले गए। किसी ने ये भी नही सोचा कि पिता के बाद इनके पास घर खर्च के पैसे भी हैं या नही? घर मे राशन है या नही? मुड़कर किसी ने फ़ोन नही किया। मेरी माँ अवसादग्रस्त है। मेरी बहन भी कुछ नही कमाती थी वो भी अवसादग्रस्त थीं। पिता के बाद मुझे ही घर संभालना पड़ा। पिता के कंपनी मे ही मुझे नौकरी मे रखा गया ये देखकर की घर मे और कोई कमाने वाला नही है। मैंने सिर्फ 12th पास किया था और एक वकील बनना चाहती थीं, ज़िन्दगी मे बहुत कुछ करना चाहती थी। 

अपने परिवार को मुझ पर गर्व कराना चाहती थी पर सब कुछ बदल चुका था। अब जिम्मेदारी मुझ पर थी अपने परिवार को चलाने की। मैं अपने पिता की राह मे चल पड़ी, वैसा ही करना चाहती थी जैसे वो करते थे परंतु उनके तरह मैं नही बन पाई पर हार नही मानी। इन तीन सालों मे बहुत कुछ बदला,कई ऐसे भी मोड़ आये जब मैं ज़िन्दगी को अलविदा कहना चाहती थी। ज़िन्दगी बहुत कठिन हो चुकी थी। माँ भी बीमार हो चुकी थी। एक डर था उन्हें खोने का। उसी डर के वजह से अंदर ही अंदर घुटती चली गयी।

समय बदलता रहा, एक अलग सी चमक दिखने लगी। धीरे धीरे सब बदलता रहा। अपने ही दम पर अपनी बड़ी बहन की सगाई और शादी की। कोशिश पूरी थी ये सोचकर अगर पापा होते तो क्या क्या करते अपनी बेटी के लिए। रिश्तेदार ये सब देख, सड़ते रहे ये सोचकर इसने ये सब अकेले कैसे कर लिया बिना उनकी मदद लिए? एक सकारात्मक ऊर्जा लगी अपने अंदर। देखा तो मैं बदल चुकी थी। वो सहमी सी लड़की जो रहा करती थी किसी अंधेरे मे वो अब एक सकारात्मक सोच लेकर अपनी मंज़िल के ओर बढ़ रही थीं।

ज़िन्दगी ने मुझे एक नही, बल्कि कई सारी चीज़ें सिखाई हैं।

धैर्य।

सकारात्मक सोच।

कठनाईयों से लड़ना।

नकरात्मक सोच आते ही डॉक्टर की मदद लेना।(आत्महत्या सोच)

बिना सोचे किसी की तुलना न करना।

जरूरतमंद व्यक्ति की मदद करना।

अपने अहम को अपने तक सीमित रखना।

-Bhavnna Sharmaa

Thats Why Everyone is Bad in this World......

Let’s pretend I have a dark secret.

I believe I am not good enough and therefore I operate under that assumption.

I am convinced that in order to deserve love I have to please others.

I have to work at getting people to like me.

If someone else wants anything from me I am compelled to provide it. Otherwise, they won’t want to be with me.

Examples of what other people might want from me vary broadly: help with their homework, keeping their secrets, liking what they like, wanting to do what they want to do. Sex.

I’m almost pleading at first. I jump at the chance to give what I can.

But then, wait a minute. This isn’t right.

I feel used, become resentful, angry.

Resentment is a symptom of poor boundaries. I shouldn’t have let it get this far.

Another symptom of poor boundaries is the sense something is wrong with “everybody”.

Why is everybody using me? Why does everyone lie to me? Why does everyone end up betraying me?

Boundaries are hard to set – saying no is difficult – because the underlying belief is that saying no will cost me the relationship. It is an indication that I am not giving enough, that I am not loyal enough, not dedicated enough.

It must mean I’m selfish.

But setting boundaries is not selfish. It’s healthy. It’s how I respect myself.

Look around you. Boundaries are why fences exist, and walls and doors and curtains. They are indispensible for our well-being.

I need to honor myself enough to acknowledge that my boundaries can and will shift. They are mine, so they can do anything they want.

Yesterday I was happy to help you with your homework. I am not willing to do it today. I had sex with you last night. I don’t want to this morning. I don’t have to explain.

“No” is a complete sentence.

Boundary setting is a life-long exercise that you often need to re-examine, re-establish. I am giving up my weekend to finish what my boss asked me to do. I’m working late, again.

I’m saying yes when I want to say no to get someone to think well of me.

I need to be brave enough to say: this is who I am. This is what I like. This is what I can do for you. But, you can’t push against who I am. You can’t get me to like something I don’t.

You can’t get me to do anything that makes me uncomfortable.

My discomfort for your benefit is not healthy for either of us.

-Dushka Zapata

“I know, I know … ,”

“I know, I know … ,” my friend Peter said.

“What do you mean you know if I haven’t even explained how the strategy works?” I insisted.

The more I tried to talk to Peter, the more defensive he got.

“Listen to me, Peter,” I persisted. “I can help you brainstorm solutions to this problem.”

“No, no, Hector, I got it, I got it,” said Peter rejecting my help.

Later that night I asked myself, “What did I say wrong? Did I offend Peter in any way?” I worried.

I was confused. I could sense that Pete hadn’t been listening to me. I couldn't understand why.

---

Nearly a year went by before I had the opportunity to see Peter again at a friend’s house. After chatting a moment with him, I found the opportunity to talk about the misunderstanding of that day.

“Pete, I don’t know what happened that day. I could sense you were uncomfortable with my conversation. Please, accept my apologies if I offended you in any way that night.”

“No, you didn’t say anything wrong, Hector. No worries,” Pete said.

“But why you were so defensive? I don’t understand.”

“I almost lost my job a few weeks after that event. I was struggling with myself that day. Today I understand that I was arrogant and full of my success. My pride didn’t allow me to listen to your advice.”

“But I was just trying to help,” I said.

“Yes, I get it. Today I can understand more about my reaction that day. I call it the CEO disease.”

“CEO disease?” I asked. “You are a very successful CEO, my friend. What do you mean?”

Pete explained, “The problem with successful CEOs is that we have the power to create a world around us that caters to our own validation. We choose who we surround ourselves with. If we are full of our success, most of those people will want to please us, never telling us what we need to hear, no matter what warning signs may be flashing in front of us.”

“So that day you were uncomfortable because I was telling you what you didn’t want to hear?” I asked.

“Correct! This blindness almost destroyed the company!”

“Really? That bad?” I asked surprised.

“I’ve learned that the biggest inhibitor of success is arrogance and pride,” Pete said.

“It got really bad. We’re still making changes. Today, however, I don't want people to agree with me all the time! We need to challenge ourselves constantly to achieve success. That’s a culture of growth.”

“Great lesson, Pete!”

“Yes! Lesson learned: Never let success go to your head and failure to your heart,” Pete said laughing

-Hector Quintannilla

Attrition in Software Companies........

Apparently, there are 1.6 million students graduating each year from engineering colleges in India alone. All of them are hungry, some of them are talented. Plus, they are cheap, ready to drink the kool-aid and work hard to prove themselves.

They are excellent resources to replace the aging or slowing or experienced engineers who tend to become costly and legacy over time. Sure, there will be some valuable experienced engineers whose abrupt exit will hurt the team and organization. The management will try to retain them through negotiations. However, the job of management is also to ensure there are no such bottleneck superstars in the first place.

Most software companies have learnt to live with attrition. They have evolved into railway platforms. People come and go all the time.

-Imtiaz Mohammad,CSE IITK

Education and Awareness