Being Homeless.....

I first became homeless at the age of nineteen, a very naïve, very sheltered suburban girl. The first few nights I slept in my Dodge Neon. I first turned to friends, who were all living at home with their families, some still in high school. One of them let me crash at her place that weekend, but come Monday, I had to go. I bounced from friend to Neon quite a bit at first, but I managed to keep my job. I would clean up in public restrooms and park in garages to sleep during the day, and then stay up all night, since most free garages are closed at night.

Eventually, I stayed for some months in a guest house about an hour away from the city in the absolute middle of rural nowhere with a friend and her mom. The house was once stunning but was in terrible disrepair and we had to boil all our water, as it came from a well. When my car accident occurred, I lost my job, and my car, and my place to stay for a few months. My “friend” had treated me like a servant and a taxi the entire time I was there so I didn’t much care. My family agreed to repair my car if I voluntarily checked myself into a drug rehabilitation facility they would pay for. The problem was, I wasn’t a drug addict. But I agreed, I was desperate, and they locked me away for two months. I kept telling the counselors and doctors I wasn’t a drug addict and so they kept me longer. Finally I faked it to make it out. I was raped in the facility, and I was raped again when I got out, except this time, I was back at home. I found out I was pregnant, and not sure which rapist was the father, I chose to have an abortion. My family left photos of dead babies all over my room. They took me to confession. They made me talk to priests and my uncle about keeping the baby or adoption. I declined.

I attempted suicide after the abortion. On the day they let me out of the hospital, I went straight from the mental ward to a couch at a friend’s house. Her father was a severely alcoholic man and made daily unwelcomed sexual advances towards me but it was less scary than my parents’ house. She was 14. I was 20. I went there to sleep while her dad was at work and to shower. We left before he got too drunk and nuts. We’d go to raves and afterparties and all night clubs. At this point, I started doing a LOT of drugs. Still wouldn’t say I was an addict.

When I needed money, I stole. I’d go find cash receipts from the trash at local stores and steal what was on the receipts. I stuffed everything from laundry detergent to frozen turkeys in my pants and then returned them for cash. My party friends said, maybe you could go to such-and-such store and steal this Adidas jumpsuit for me or this Versace cardigan and I’ll pay you a percentage of the cost. So I became a full fledged thief. And then I got arrested. That was the end of that. I also cleaned out the bank account of my friend’s rapey dad. I ended up paying him back and he didn’t press charges.

I sold drugs for a while. I remember waking up one day after a week long cocaine binge on a floor that was littered with cat feces next to some veritable stranger named Toothless Tony. I spent a couple years sharing a bunk bed with a gay friend who was 15 at the time. He lived with his grandparents and his Uncle Bob. I’d come home late at night and he’d be waiting in the dark, coked up out of his mind, asking me to snuggle.

I sold drugs, I stole, I manipulated men. I never begged. I’m not proud of it, but it happened. I was a child, thrust into the street, barely clinging to hope, ready to die.

I met a handsome drug trafficker. We fell in love, I moved in with him. I cleaned up my act, got a job, went to school, and he went to have sex with hookers. Then he went to prison. And I had a baby.

At nine months old, my son, and myself, a young wife and mother, found ourselves homeless again. My MIL didn’t want us, so she called my grandmother, who said she didn’t want us either, but she begrudgingly would let us stay in the unfinished basement, because of the baby.

And stay there we did, for many years. I got two undergraduate degrees, a debilitating case of agoraphobia, and a lot more abuse.

I was homeless again two other times. I lived in my ex husband’s garage, a motel, and then I found a nice CCNA with NPD to live with. He ripped out my soul and told me to go back to grandma’s basement or maybe I could stay in his dirt floored storm cellar with the mice, listen to him have sex upstairs with his new girlfriend.

Back to grandma’s to be crucified some more. Got to stay upstairs this time, but I didn’t get a closet, and the rent is paid in proverbial pounds of flesh.

Somehow through all of this, I have single-handedly raised this amazing varsity football player with a heart of gold who loves his mother and has attended the same top echelon school since kindergarten. He’s well-adjusted and smart and happy and never once had a father. He’s the reason I’m alive. He’s the one thing I did right, my redemption, my pride and joy.

Now grandma is dying, and we do our best to be there for her the same way she was there for us. Once again in a position where the rug can ripped out at any time.

Rip your heart out rug. I’m ready.                      -Laura Hamm

When you are young......

    When you are young, you must invest in yourself and then convert the accumulated skills into profit later on. You, as a person, have a price tag in the market of life. You are your skills.
   
I may appear dumb or confused all the time in the class in comparison to others. However, persistence and sheer tenacity outweighs talent. Life is a marathon, not an 100 meter dash.
  
 Always prioritize and understand what’s important and what’s less important. Write a 1 year plan, know what you want, break it up into small chunks, and religiously every day follow the path to the final achievement.
   
If you are ambitious, do not continue to passively consume material, think of the “what if” scenarios, or be in a constant daydream state. Get off your ass and do something.
  
 Do not whine about your awful life with a 5G WiFi and a $6 Starbucks coffee in your hand. Do a reality check once in a while and look at your tragic burdens from a different perspective. Life is not that bad.
  
 Do not blame others for your awful life. You, and only you, are responsible for your life and remember that “he that lives upon hope will die fasting.” (Benjamin Franklin) Practice self reliance and rely only on yourself.
   
Stop seeking short term gratification and focus on long term goals.
  
 Invest money today and not tomorrow because “one today is worth two tomorrows.” Also, clearly understand the difference between assets and liabilities and that it’s better to “go to bed without dinner than to rise in debt.” (Benjamin Franklin)
   
Money may not buy happiness but it buys comfort and safety.
   
Family is important and we should never hurt the ones we love the most.                                                                            

      -Anna Sharudenko

I cant get even minimum wage per hour.......Why?

I owned and operated a pizza shop for many years. Almost 100% of my hires were kids getting their first job. Most of these kids needed to learn things like how to show up on time, how to work with others, not to get high before coming to work (I kid you not), and how to produce enough each hour to be worth any wage at all. In many cases it took months for them to rise to this level. And those who could not get up to that level quickly had to be let go. This was not out of greed or cruelty, this was a simple necessity if one wished to stay in business.

Unlike government, a small business either makes ends meet or goes bankrupt. If an employee cannot produce more than you are paying him or her, you can’t keep them. It’s literally that simple.

Once an employee had learned how to produce more than they were being paid, the minimum wage no longer applied to them. Since they can work anywhere they wish, it was in my best interests to pay them more so they would stay. And you can bet your butt I did; hiring and training are expensive and I had no desire to be a “training center” for my competitors! But if a person did not rise to that level quickly, I had no choice but to let them go. And the higher the wage, the higher the level of productivity has to be in order to hire and keep them.

Despite all of the posturing and claims of “helping the working poor,” minimum-wage laws hurt the very people they were designed to help: those at the bottom of the productivity and wage scale.

-John Bianchi

Failure and Success....

If you lose repeatedly in life, it breaks your confidence.

If you succeed repeatedly in life, it makes you more confident.

This is a simple formula of life.

However, it is not possible for any person to keep winning or losing for long because,

• If you keep winning in life, you become more confident and hence you raise the bar for yourself and take up even more challenging task. Soon the challenge takes the best of you and the failures starts pouring in. 
• 
  
• If you keep losing repeatedly, you become demoralized and lose confidence. Hence you set the bar lower now. As a result, you now start winning and that boosts your confidence and you now aim for higher things in life. 

If you are intelligent, you shall soon identify your caliber and calibrate your goals accordingly to your abilities so that your successes and failures are reasonably balanced just like a great musician balances the tightness of the string of his instrument.

However, most people fail to learn their lessons from the successes and failures of life.

They are on the top of the world when they achieve success.

They don’t know where to hide when they face failure.

Aristotle said so wisely — 'Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.'

-Dr.Awdhesh Singh (B.tech IIT-BHU,M-Tech IIT Delhi,Phd)

Working Hard as Elon Musk

No-one knows how hard Musk works apart from Musk himself. I think you’ll find that while he works very hard, it’s not his hard work that makes him exceptional.

I’m sure there are guys in India, in the hot sun, making chapatis while fighting the heat of a ‘tavva’ working much harder than Musk. Or labourers in the Middle East, working in the baking sun, on construction sites. And all to feed their families.

The question should then be how can you work as hard as the chapati wala or labourer? You need a motivation as strong as feeding your family.

-Asim Qureshi

Listen Buddy......

I am from a Tier 3..........

I am from a 3-tier college in West Bengal, India. During my 4 years in college, I had done 4 paid internships with which I had even been able to pay a semester’s fee. I had 3 offers when I left college, all of them from good startups. After 2.5 years of working, I am earning 20 lakhs per annum and even booked a flat in Bangalore.

A bit of history:

1. Since I was a child, in most terminal exams in school, I used to fail in at least one subject.

2. In my 12 mock exams, I got 38%.

3. Somehow got 80% in 12 boards and of course got into a very shitty college.

4. Only goal was to study well in college, keep good CGPA and get job in the IT services companies that come to college. Namely, Infosys, Wipro etc.

Something happened:

1. Saw seniors ragging juniors. Students in hostels drinking, watching movies. Teachers were really bad(in knowledge of the subject)

2. I was sure there was something wrong and suddenly became curious on what do students in IIT, IIIT etc do that they get job with so much salary. What’s different.

3. Asked a school senior who was studying in IIIT-H. He said there are websites called Codechef, SPOJ, Codeforces, Topcoder etc and if I really wanted to be a good programmer, I should code there. I thanked him and asked him if I can ask him when in doubt. I will never forget what he said: If you really want to learn, you will find your way to achieve it. The internet has every answer to your question. I am in IIIT-H and I don’t do these. You will do it if you are determined. I thanked him again and after this was all by myself.

4. I learned Python online and started coding in Codechef. Then I came to know about SPOJ and coded there.

5. I never gave a shit about “enjoying” in college. I was in love with programming. I started reading hacker news, Quora(yeah I have seen the best of Quora and I miss that now. :D). I understood there is no way to waste time in anything else that others were doing in college.

6. When I went to 2nd year and my juniors arrived, I started to look for teammates for ACM ICPC. Unlike others, who like being “dadas” of college, all I used to talk about with others(juniors or seniors) is doing something to increase skills. I loved encouraging people to code or towards anything they love to do.

7. At some point my all India rank one Codechef was 60th. That is when I received an internship interview mail from R&D team of Aspiring Minds. I cleared the interviews(DS Algo and Math). The other intern who was working with me was from DCE and his all India rank in AIEEE was 9000(My AIEEE rank was more than 1 lakh). It felt great to have good people around.

8. Did 3 more internships after that. The side projects and competitive programming kept on going.

9. Went to ICPC, gave a talk at PyCon India, did some projects in ML and Image processing and on the way encouraged everyone.

What do i recommend?

1. Don’t waste time in college. Enjoying and chilling feels great but don’t do that. 

2. Maximise your time to code. Work very very hard.

3. Find your own way and do not ask others. (Most juniors who used to ask did nothing. I patiently helped everyone though. One who asked nothing and found his own way is at DirectI now :D)

4. Do not give excuses of your failures. You are the only reason to what you are. I didn’t work hard in class 11–12 and ended up in a shitty college. But I was(still am) a shit too.

5. Most of the time you will feel like dropping the hard work and enjoying like others. But that is the end. Keep fighting till you achieve because that knowledge remains forever. Its very very frustrating to learn something and in programming, hell yes its so fucking tough to learn and keep pushing. But there is no other way. You have to work hard. Determine that all these 4 years you will code like crazy and get internships and get jobs. 

6. Encourage everyone to work hard. Tell to 100, at least 1 will do.

7. Again, work hard.

The best thing is this hard work will make you an amazing human being who will not give up easily on anything. Your “fighting” to achieve level will increase and that is the most important thing to survive in life. Enjoy whatever you are doing. Don’t do it for the salary. Do it because its awesome. Also, you will learn how to learn anything without a paid “training”. I learned singing and cooking after moving to Bangalore for job all by myself. ;)

Thanks. I hope I have motivated you to get started. All the best.

                  -Rishi Mukherjee 

{ Bloggers Notes : Mr.Rishi did his B.Tech(2010-2014) from Neotia Institute of Technology, Management and Science which is affiliated to West Bengal University of Technology.}

Additional Advice for starters from Mr.Rishi:

" Don’t waste a single day in college. Learn as much as possible. Codechef, SPOJ, Topcoder, android, iOS, python, web, ML, Image processing, programming conferences, everything. I am from a third grade college so I know what I am talking about. No “training” will help. Learn yourself from the Internet and books. All the best. :) "

Money...............

Money is abundant. Money is EVERYWHERE!

The government has money, the banks have money, schools have money, restaurants have money …

You have money, your friends have money!

The rich have money, the poor have money!

Money is EVERYWHERE and always moving. Money is “flying” all around us, ALL the time, 24 hours a day — everyday, 365 days a year!

What’s the difference between a poor, hardworking person versus a wealthy, hardworking person?

The difference is in HOW they ‘catch’ money.

Poor, hardworking people invest their limited working hours ‘chasing’ money, while the wealthy, hardworking people will invest the same amount of limited working hours building an asset that will “catch” money for them.

For example, spiders will NEVER work hard chasing flying insects to make a living. Instead, they will work hard building a spiderweb that will catch abundant flying insects for them.

That’s called an asset. It works 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, catching flying “money” — even while the spider sleeps.

That’s the secret.

Schools won’t tell you this. They will teach you to chase money, which leads to the paycheck formula:

(College degree) x (Time) = Paycheck

Warning: That’s an energy-draining trap!

There’s only one solution: Entrepreneurship.

Stop making excuses and start building your “SPIDERWEB” today!

-Hector Quintanilla

Being a Drug Addict......

8 A.M — Wake up, rub your eyes and look at the clock. Ugh, it's still pretty early. Lay back down and try to sleep again. You can't sleep because your mind starts racing. How much money do you have? Just cashed your paycheck yesterday but there's not much left. You think you have something like forty bucks left. That won't get much. How could we get more money? Have we asked Dad recently? He might be good for twenty bucks, but we never paid him back last time so we can't ask for more than that. We just asked mom last week. Maybe my co-worker would front me some cash if I told her I couldn't cash my check. Roll back over. Try to sleep.

9 A.M — Frustrated. Can't sleep. Thinking too much and my legs are getting restless. Wake up my boyfriend. Don't have to work today. Man I wish I we had saved more money yesterday. Open the cupboards. I don't know why, they are empty anyways. Grab my phone and send some texts. Lie to dad about needing money for gas. Lie to mom about losing money yesterday and being stuck because a bill is due today. Lie to co-worker about my check getting wet and having to wait for another one. Lies, promises and I feel like shit about it.

10 A.M — Boyfriend and I argue a little because we should have saved something for this morning. We are both feeling a bit sluggish. I'm hungry. I want to go to the store but he says we need every penny. He's right. Mom text back. She mentions last week. Says she can't help today. She's sorry. I'm angry. She could help, she's just being a bitch. I sit down to watch TV but I can't focus, my mind is trying to think of anyway I could get some cash. Do we have anything to sell? Would anyone front?

11 A.M — Really starting to feel like shit. Most of it is probably in my head because I can't stop thinking about it, but I can't sit down because my legs feel like fire ants are crawling through my bones. Call Dad. Did you get my text? Oh you can't today? Well what if I drove out to you? Oh, okay. Now I'm pissed. I thought parents are supposed to help their kids. Boyfriends getting the same run around from everyone he's texted. Could we find anyone else looking and over charge them?

12 P.M — Co-worker feels bad. Said she could lend me like sixty bucks but only if I absolutely pay it back ASAP because she has four kids and a tight budget. Sure I can pay you back as soon as I get the new check. I think I even start to believe it. Fool myself into believing I have every intention of paying it back when the check comes but its not coming. Maybe I have to fool myself so I won't feel bad about taking money from a single mother. Either way … we are in business!

1 P.M — Met with Co-worker and got money. Now to get our drugs. Oh, dealers not answering. Shit. Anyone else good? Make some calls while sitting in a parking lot. I can smell food cooking in a restaurant nearby. We have more money and I am starving, but we have just enough to get a certain amount and if we spend any that will mean less drugs. It's hot. Car doesn't have AC. Nobody is answering. Shit. If we drive home we would have to put gas in to come back to town, that would mean less money, less drugs. We sit in the hot car, waiting, and smelling the food.

2 P.M — Still waiting but someone thinks she might have a connect lined up. She just needs a ride. We pick her up, drive her across town, but the guy only has what she was looking for. We don't want crack. He can't get Anything else. He never could. She used us for a ride. We thought we would be driving away with our shit and now we are still empty handed. What now?

3 P.M — We break down. We are hungry. We go to the dollar store. I pass by things we need, things I want to buy, things we cannot afford. Imagine, being unable to afford something in a dollar store. He gets a pack of ramen noodles and I get a bottle of soda. We sit in the car chomping on uncooked ramen and drinking soda. Phone rings. Dealer will be good but not until about six tonight. Fuck.

4 P.M — Went back home. I'm sick. I have one cigarette left. We have to get more, that means even less drugs. I can't sit still but I'm too lethargic to do anything useful. My stomach is churning and cramping. I pace the floor. Is it six yet? I could take a shower, maybe they would make me feel better? I don't have the strength or motivation to do all that work. I can't nap. Can't get comfortable. I feel drained of energy but when I sit down my arms and legs feel restless and they hurt.

5 P.M — I can't sit here anymore. We head out. Stop for gas. Sit and wait.

6 P.M — Call dealer. He's still waiting for his guy. As soon as he knows something he will call. I watch people going in and out of the store. Carts full of groceries and other household items. I wish I was them. I wish I was anyone but me. I watch young people dressed in name brand clothes. I'm wearing my pajamas still. I'm embarrassed. Why couldn't I be one of them. Shit. Do we have any rigs? We need some. I can't go to the pharmacy dressed like this. Boyfriend goes in, but the lady wouldn't sell them to him because he didn't have a prescription for insulin. What? Since when is that a thing? Drive to another pharmacy. Put my hair up. Put makeup on. Go in and buy needles. Everyone looks at me. They all know. I know they know and I shrink under their condescending glares. Don't judge me, help me!

7 P.M — Dealer calls. Meeting his guy now. We have to meet him in a half hour. God, more waiting! Why couldn't there just be a drug store? We sit in the car longer. We don't have a fancy phone with internet and movies. We literally …. Just …. Sit ….. and …. Wait. I'm sick. Im hungry. I'm miserable

.

8 P.M — Finally met with dealer. After having to put in more gas then we wanted, getting cigarettes and buying food we got less than we wanted. Just enough. Not enough to get high, but just enough to sleep tonight. Tonight will be a good night because tonight I will slam my shit, lay down and fall asleep. Tonight I won't toss and turn. Tonight I won't be up puking. Tonight I won't sit in the corner of my bedroom sobbing because I want to sleep but cannot lay still for more than five seconds. It was a close call, but tonight will be good.

But tomorrow …. Well that's another story.....  

 -Meagan Ireland

( I was really afraid to write this. Going back to those days — even if only in my head — is hard.)

Why you are middle class.....

1. Dreams. Many dream of being rich. They imagine exotic cars, yachts and mansions. Yet, never get beyond dreaming. The rich figure out how to turn their dreams into reality. And stop dreaming.
2. Dreamless. Many think they can never build wealth. So they never try. And prove it. The rich believe they can build wealth. And prove that too.
3. Flow. Many just go with the flow. Do the same as everyone else. And accomplish the same also. The rich go against the flow. And accomplish what others aren’t willing to.
4. Victims. Many view themselves as victims of society, luck and their past. And stay stuck. The rich view themselves as victors. Able to overcome. And they accomplish their future.
5. Thinking. Many think only about today. What’s popular, interesting and fun. And never break out beyond it. The rich think about the future. What can be instead of what is. And accomplish it.
6. Time. Many simply kill time. Waste moments. Not accomplishing, simply being. The rich treasure time as a gift. Waste little. Use moments effectively. And accomplish far more than just being.
7. Knowledge. Many fill their minds with sports, politics, Facebook and Twitter. And accomplish little. The rich fill their minds with useful information. And use it to accomplish much.
8. Love. Many focus only on riches rather than relationships. And fail in both. The truly rich focus on how they can care for those they love and better serve others. And find both.

Middle class?

What do you think?

You’ll break free from the middle-class only when you break free from the middle class mindset.

-Doug Armey

Why wealth is not sustained by grandchildrens......

If you only know how to spend, and never learned how to earn or manage, you won’t know how to keep it from running out.

Easy money spends easier. It’s why most lottery winners end up broke, or why people who win at the casino blow it on upgrading their room, expensive dinners, or trying to win more instead of paying off their car. It’s why actors who go from waiting tables to box office success buy ostentatious houses and a million dollars worth of cars, while small business owners who make the same or more money every year as they do refuse to.

Hard earned money is spent more responsibly than easy money. Easy come, easy go, as they say.

The first generation learned how to build wealth and keep it. Their kids didn’t have to learn how to build it; they only learned how to sustain and manage it, maybe even grow it, but that’s a different skill than making it in the first place.

By the third generation, whatever market trend that was responsible for the original wealth will have changed, but they won’t know how to navigate that the way Grandpa could have. They’ll never have experienced the “getting through the hard times” part like he did. They won’t know how to fix what isn’t working, and won’t know how your money management style has to adapt when you’re in that situation.

When market trends change, they’ll need both sets of skills — how to make it like Grandpa did, and how to manage it like Dad did — but they’ll have neither. Without both, eventually the money will run out.      -Ron  Rule

Learning in Life...........

I love it when things are smooth and painless and simple, love the expression “easy as pie.”

I would be happy idle, relaxing while learning convenient, manageable, accessible things.

There is no life lesson that is best learned the hard way.

 The easy way is much, much better.

It’s just that, tragically, “easy” is not how we learn.

-Dushka Zapata