However, if your loved one, a family member or a friend gets sick and refuses to acknowledge his illness, will you not advise the person to go to a doctor and take medicine?
While it may be a bad idea to give unsolicited advice to a stranger, it is necessary that we must give advice to the people who are close to us, or whom we love, whether or not they seek our advice, and they will thank you for your unsolicited advice.
Around 2006, many IRS officers resigned from the service to join private sector jobs. In those days, government salaries were pathetic. I was an Additional Commission with 16 years of seniority, yet my salary was around Rs 35,000 pm (CTC around Rs 5 lakhs per annum). Almost all the IRS officers who resigned joined BIG 4 (Deloitte, EY, KPMG, and PwC) and were offered salaries ranging from Rs 20–50 lakhs per annum plus bonuses.
I, too, was thinking of quitting the service.
However, in an official meeting, when this issue was discussed, and I expressed my desire to quit the job, one of my seniors (whom I will call PK) told me bluntly, “Awdhesh! How long will you live for your career? Your daughter is in class 8th and 9th; they need your time and help. If you join a private company, you may get money, but you will have no time for your children. At this stage of your life, you must give your time to your children and help them make a good career for themselves.”
Somehow, I got so much influenced by his advice that I decided to give up the idea of changing my job, and started teaching my children every day after office hours, which not only helped me build a strong relationship with my children but also helped them perform quite well in their senior classes, get selected in good Engineering colleges and build a good career for themselves.
Even today, I feel extremely grateful for PK for his advice.
Almost a decade later, when I was posted in Chennai, Mr PK came to my home, and we had dinner. I reminded him of his advice and told him how thankful I was for his advice. Interestingly, he did not even remember giving me such advice.
In the Bible, Jesus tells of a farmer who sows seed indiscriminately. Some seed falls on the path (wayside) with no soil, some on rocky ground with little soil, some on soil which contains thorns, and some on good soil. In the first case, the seed is taken away; in the second and third soils, the seed fails to produce a crop; but when it falls on good soil, it grows and yields thirty-, sixty-, or a hundred-fold.”
Just like a seed may provide a good yield when sown on good soil, sound advice can change a person's life forever.
It was unsolicited advice given by a few saints that transformed Valmiki from a bandit to a Maharshi (great saint).
Hence, it is not always wrong to give unsolicited advice.
Most people are hesitant to seek advice due to self-respect or ego, even when they are in trouble and unable to find a way to get out of it.
If you give the right advice to such a person in the right manner, you can help the person overcome his problems and lead a good life, thus improving society and the world.
-Awdhesh Singh
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