These Will Hold You Back

 I will get everything perfect.

I will control everything.

I will say yes to everything and leave myself open to feeling exhausted and taken advantage of.

I will determine boundaries are selfish and as such will have none.

I will decide saying no means I am not loyal or dedicated enough.

I believe I am not good enough and this belief will influence all my decisions.

I believe I am helpless and cannot do things without others doing them for me.

I will live with envy in my heart for all the things others can have that I can’t have.

I will be perpetually attracted to people who are not available to me or don’t treat me well.

I am afraid that others will judge me so I will take no risks.

I will be angry at anyone who does not see things the way I see them.

I will commit to things and then not follow through so I can show me I cannot really be counted on.

I will make excuses to justify things I do that are not good for me. (I’ve had a rough week and deserve this plate of french fries.)

I think people who truly love me should just know what I want so instead of spelling it out I will get angry if they don’t get it right.

I will never ask for help.

I will live convinced that I don’t deserve good things, and don’t deserve to be loved.

-Dushka Zapata