Don’t let anyone or anything break you - Whether it’s family, love, lust, society, rules, be it anything - simply, don’t let anyone dull your sparkle, shine brighter and brighter with every hurdle

 
-Saranya Ravichandran

Hear me out.....

“I worked really hard and yet I failed”.

“I worked really hard and yet I failed”.

This is one of the most common line I have ever heard from people.

Most people assume that one cannot achieve success despite 

putting in the hard work and success really depends on luck.

However the real problem is that most people cannot distinguish between manual labor and actual hard work.

Most people are stuck doing manual labor which fetches them no result.

Success on the other hand highly depends on what I call “High Impact Activities”.

A majority of people ignore these “High Impact Activities” because they are “Hard”.

Now don’t get me wrong, here hard activities does not mean they take effort, its just that they are least pleasant to do.

Hence people try avoiding these activities and focus all their energy and effort on low impact activities.

Lets take an example for both HIA and LIA:

In business context:

HIA: Cold calling customers, selling them products on the phone or reaching out to new customers, following up new leads.

LIA: Designing logo for your website, spending time to learn so called “productivity tips” from YouTube after wasting hours on designing the logo which you could have outsourced on fiver for $5.

In a student context:

HIA: Focusing on the most important yet hard topics and understanding them thoroughly.

LIA: Spending more time on easier topics, topics which you already know well.

In a newbie programmers context:

HIA: Working on a personal project which involves building something.

LIA: Reading and searching for answers on sites, deciding which code editor to use, debating on which programming language is better.

I hope this gives a clear idea of how High Impact Activities are different from Low Impact Activities.

If you compare them both, you will find that both of them take the same amount of effort to do.

However if you take a look at HIA, they are not very comfortable or pleasing to do.

Designing a logo for your business seems like a nice idea while cold calling a client sounds rough and hence people tend to deviate towards things that are of less importance just because they find pleasure doing them.

High performers on the other end know what activities would create the most impact for them and hence they are willing to do them irrespective of how un-pleasurable they are to do.

Doing hard work does not mean working like a donkey on some simple things.

Here is what hard work looks like:

1. Deciding and doing something which you know is not pleasurable but can give you the maximum results.
2. Taking risks in all walks of your life, switching careers if the current one does not pay you well.
3. Taking hard decisions, making a complete shift in the way you operate and think.
4. Taking responsibility, hiring people, or learning some new skill which can change the course of your career.
5. Being able to manage and make the most efficient use of your time.
6. Being consistent for years doing anything, be it at a business, learning new skills, or working out.
7. Doing something which you have never done before, or doing something where you are uncertain about the outcome.

These are the actual activities which can be termed as hard work.

The day you understand the difference between manual labor and real hard work is the day when your life would change completely.

-Saurav Sharma

You are not responsible for keeping the peace or making sure others are getting along.

You are not responsible for another person’s expectations of you.

You are not responsible for what another person thinks about you.

You are not responsible for how another person behaves.

You are not responsible for getting someone to love you (or even like you.)

You are not responsible for helping, rescuing or saving anyone other than yourself.

You are not responsible for anyone’s happiness (or their emotional state.)

You are not responsible for how your boundaries make another person feel.

You are not responsible for being anyone another person wants you to be.

-Dushka Zapata

Dress comfortably but also respectfully - There’s only a hair line difference between dressing up according to a place and dressing up as we wish. Lot of people misinterpret this and bring this into the topic of feminism, but it’s a basic etiquette irrespective of the gender.
 
-Saranya Ravichandran

Anything wrong with Indian Youths?

Taking ABSOLUTE BULLS**T MOTIVATION

Let me walk you through what i find utter nonsense depiction in many of the videos on Internet regarding Motivating a person.

So recently i came across this video by *coughs* Famous among youth Youtuber “Amit Badhana” named “PADHAKU vs LAST BENCHERS”.

I will not bore you by telling each instance of that video but surely give you the message i want to convey .

From the beginning of the video the “Last Bencher” is shown having fun in skipping the queue for checking of i cards , thinking shit about people who are taking books for study and here’s one -

Here is the scene in which last benchers are having fun when teacher is in the class ….(even i used to do this and it’s normal ) but wait why am i pointing out this and writing this answer then ??

Wait for the ending and u will realise what’s my Point.

Yet again our ‘cool’ Last bencher is shown Cheating in exam ( we all have done this anytime in our life )

then why am i pointing this ?

Again ,wait for the end (Almost there)

So basically summing things up -

This last bencher of ours is not even , for an instance shown working towards anything progressive , working towards any hobby , passion , anything in his college days whereas the other guy is shown constantly studying , not enjoying his life , being mocked by peers for Studying.

Oh for GOD sake now i should tell u the point , it’s getting too much now i belive !!

(Translation : After few years )

A office is shown ( seems pretty decent startup definately not a youtuber or comedian office ) where that Studious guy came for an interview :

and Guess what ????

He met that Back bencher as the CEO of this company. (wtf ?)

and here are his expression

Well first take a look at our CEO (take blessings you readers !)

Wait , whattt????

So this is what is depicted-

You can , in the name of enjoyment hang out with your friends entire time , Don’t ever touch a book and if you do you may somehow fall into category of “not being cool person” , talk rubbish with teachers and after few years something Magical will happen overnight and you will become successful in no time without any efforts !

BOOYAHH !! You all got the MANTRA of success !

Hey young people you got motivated enough now ? now get back to that friend and enjoy your life , hang out , play all the time , don’t dare to touch a book and wait for a MAGIC in the upcoming years to happen ,

but that magic in real life is called ——-

THE MAGIC OF UNEMPLOYMENT !

until and unless you come from a pretty decent family background where there is no survial issue , but for a middle class person this reality is going to hit hard , VERY HARD if you kept going on with such beliefs.

Ending note:

1. What is shown in these type of videos is far beyond reality and are made so that the youths (95%) can relate to it and laugh cause they are doing the same and these people know your weakness and thus earning lot of money and implanting a cancerous and wrong path in young minds !
2. In Reality , CEO’s or anyone on the top of their respective fields have worked day and night for Years to master a ‘THING’ , they have mastered a skillset by practicing like hell giving lots and lots of time to that until they achieved the desired thing.
3. There is no shortcut to Overnight Success , you have to work years and years before turning to the overnight success.

Ps- I too don’t like the current system of mugging things out , but i do know that one should give his time in his respective field of work , whatever they want to be ! Atleast give 200–400 hours in your field and then you may somewhat get a feel of having the desired knowledge in yourself and then get going on the path until you get what you want.

So as per the question :

Desire for success in most shortest way and seeking motivation which depicts exactly what they like to see , match up with their behaviour and routine so that they remain satisfied and not care to push themselves towards their GOAL and blaming every other thing for their downfall is what is wrong with *most* of the Indian Youth.

-Vidhu Bhardwaj

Never ever give up on your dreams just because you’re a woman - It’s not easy, but find a way. Even if you take a break, come back on the track and make it happen. Never, ever give up!

 
-Saranya Ravichandran

Book Behind My Success

Here are the pictures of some books in my bookshelf that I have read.

There are equal number of books kept in packed boxes and in other bookshelves.

I have over 200 books on my Kindle.

Nowadays, I read mostly from my Kindle.

All these books have contributed to development of my thoughts.

Yet, none of these books are responsible for my success.

It is the application of the knowledge contained in these books, which has played a positive role in my success.

Just like you can't lose weight by reading a dieting book, you cant active success by reading books written by the most wise and successful people of the world.

You must practice what you learn from the books because the application of knowledge in the right way is the real knowledge which alone can lead you towards success.

   

-Awdhesh Singh,ex-IRS(UPSC-CSE),PhD,M-Tech IIT-D,B.Tech IT-BHU,Author

Have an identity for yourself, not your husband’s, not your father’s but yours - Carve your own path to success. You don’t have to marry a man just because you want to “settle” abroad, find a way yourself.

-Saranya Ravichandran

A wise man was sitting in his study room and reading literature.

He was mesmerized by the beauty of writing, and was literally feeling the book.

Suddenly, a young guy, in his late twenties arrived along with his father. He had recently lost his mother and was in deep agony and couldn't get over the loss. His father brought him to the wise man.

Even after noticing them and exchanging greetings, the wise man kept reading for a while.

After he completed the chapter, he looked at the father and son, and asked 'So, how is life?’

The father told him everything, while his son started weeping profusely.

The wise man, handed over a tissue to the young guy and said: 'Son, did you notice what was I doing, when you arrived?’

In broken voice the guy replied: 'Sir, you were reading a book.'

‘Okay, nice. You know, why did I keep reading even though you guys were waiting?’

'I don't know' the young guy replied.

‘Because it was a beautiful chapter and I wanted to read it in one go.’

Takes a pause and speaks again-

‘Son, I want an advice from you, shall I read this chapter again and again, or move ahead, and continue reading the book further'

The young guy thought for a few seconds and said-

‘Sir, you have already read the chapter with immense interest and dedication, it has been stored in your mind now, you can remember it any time, thus you must continue reading the other chapters'

The wise man smiled and said: ‘Thank you son, I will definitely follow your advice. Would you also like to follow the advice you just gave.’

‘I didn't get you Sir?’ The young guy replied in confusion.

‘Your life is nothing but a book. Chapter after chapter, life will keep unfolding itself, neither the most beautiful chapters will stay forever, nor the tough ones. You read a beautiful and long chapter in your mother. It was full of love, care, and selflessness, and now it has come to an end, you must end it graciously and keep it's memories alive, and move ahead with the book. If you get stuck here, you will ruin the spirit of the book of your life.’

The guy kept looking at the wise man with tears in his eyes for a while.

Wise man continued speaking: ‘I assure you that till you keep your mother alive in your memories, she would never die.’

The young guy nodded his head, as the wise man’s words created a huge impact on him.

Soon he got over with the immense grief of losing his mother, and remembered her wonderful memories.

---

The bookish advice which can do wonders to your thoughts us-

‘Every good thing in life shall come to an end one day or the other, we must cherish memories and move ahead in life, instead of prolonging the grief and staying in a state of disbelief.’

This advice can work for the smallest of things to the biggest of losses.

-Anubhav Jain

Embrace motherhood - You can be a modern woman, but your kid is going to search for you and only you, when he/she is hungry. Adore that miraculous feeling of motherhood!

  -Saranya Ravichandran

Toxic people exhibit these:

1. They belittle others in order to feel important.
2. They are very controlling and fear change.
3. They think that they know it all.
4. They love to gossip.
5. They do not want to hear of people’s great achievements. Normal people say congratulations.
6. They spread rumor about innocent people.
7. They always have troll questions to make your answer look bad.
8. They make fun of you just to make you look less.
9. They are extremely jealous.
10. They never admit to their mistakes.
11. They are outright narcissists.
12. They do not want to see others happy.
13. They always want their opinions to win.
14. They make fun of your dates, partners and spouses to make them and you look like a pair of losers.
15. They do not want to give others a chance to try.

Such losers are everywhere and we have to be very smart to defeat them everyday.

Let us not be toxic.

Welcome.

-Larry Lama

If you want the diamonds, you buy the diamonds - Be financially independent, pay your own bills and invest time in understanding your financials. Kill that “gold-digger” phrase. 

-Saranya Ravichandran

Whats the most intense thing a homeless man said to you?

It isn't what a homeless person said to me, but rather what I witnessed between the homeless man and my 2 (nearly 3) year old daughter…

I jumped on the bus with my daughter and pushed her pram into the buggy area..

It was then I noticed this man. Unkempt, smelling like old alcohol with the saddest, watery eyes.

He was in the seat right next to the buggy area and my daughter just kept smiling and staring at him.

I could see people get on and rather stand than take the seat next to him.

All the while my daughter kept looking and smiling..

She finally got his attention.

He looks up from his hands, looks at my daughter and she smiles again.

He smiles back.

My daughter reached out, touched his face and said “it's okay”.

He takes a deep, shaky breath.. tears start, the bus stops.

He stands up, says “thank you”, wipes his eyes and leaves the bus.

It probably doesn't even seem like such a big thing.. but it was intense to see my daughter feel this man's pain and just want to make it better when everyone around us just ignored another person so low…

-Stacey Duggan

So You Are......

My baby brother is finally an adult! He is moving to another country to pursue medical education!

The little kid who used to annoyingly scribble over my homework, pee all over the house, and basically acted like just any other unbalanced toddler, is now going to be a doctor!

For me, he will always be that kid but today I had to have a talk with him about being a responsible adult (especially in a foreign country).

This was my advice to him and all the other people here who are newly-turned/transitioning into adulthood. Taking it or leaving it is at your discretion :)

There is no space for ‘excuses’ or ‘giving up’ if you want to succeed.

I have suffered from depression

I have suffered from panic attacks

I have had suicidal thoughts

I have felt the utter dejection of not feeling a purpose in life

I cried myself to sleep and spent a lot of hours hiding in my blanket, isolating myself and simmering in my depression.

But despite all that, I turned up at work. I did my job.

Sometimes, I’d go and cry in the middle of the day in the dark equipment room. I would cry until there were no tears left. I would scream silently.

And then, I’d clean my face and finish my duties and responsibilities.

I could have just cited my mental state as a reason and given up on everything. But then all my dreams and ambitions would have died with it.

Not a lot of people get second chances so you need to make the best of what you got.

A lot of you will be taking student loans etc. to go to college. Or just investing in your future.

It will be very hard at times. You will feel like giving up. You will justify your excuses.

But listen to me, if you give up on making efforts, that loan will always chase you and pull you to the depths. If money is not a problem for you, remember that the feeling of not being able to unleash your full potential is extremely bitter.

The regret of ‘If I had tried a bit more, life would have been so different’ is very heartbreaking!

Take help, seek counsel, but don’t stop trying!

Being an adult means that you have to suffer the consequences of all your choices. You, just you.

So make the right choices! Fail or succeed, but never give up trying!

-

-Srishti Kotiyal

मैं अट्ठारह वर्ष की थी जब मेरे पिता की मौत हुई। मेरे पिता ही थे जो कमाते थे। सब कुछ बदल चुका था । रिश्तेदार आये और चले गए। किसी ने ये भी नही सोचा कि पिता के बाद इनके पास घर खर्च के पैसे भी हैं या नही? घर मे राशन है या नही? मुड़कर किसी ने फ़ोन नही किया। मेरी माँ अवसादग्रस्त है। मेरी बहन भी कुछ नही कमाती थी वो भी अवसादग्रस्त थीं। पिता के बाद मुझे ही घर संभालना पड़ा। पिता के कंपनी मे ही मुझे नौकरी मे रखा गया ये देखकर की घर मे और कोई कमाने वाला नही है। मैंने सिर्फ 12th पास किया था और एक वकील बनना चाहती थीं, ज़िन्दगी मे बहुत कुछ करना चाहती थी। 

अपने परिवार को मुझ पर गर्व कराना चाहती थी पर सब कुछ बदल चुका था। अब जिम्मेदारी मुझ पर थी अपने परिवार को चलाने की। मैं अपने पिता की राह मे चल पड़ी, वैसा ही करना चाहती थी जैसे वो करते थे परंतु उनके तरह मैं नही बन पाई पर हार नही मानी। इन तीन सालों मे बहुत कुछ बदला,कई ऐसे भी मोड़ आये जब मैं ज़िन्दगी को अलविदा कहना चाहती थी। ज़िन्दगी बहुत कठिन हो चुकी थी। माँ भी बीमार हो चुकी थी। एक डर था उन्हें खोने का। उसी डर के वजह से अंदर ही अंदर घुटती चली गयी।

समय बदलता रहा, एक अलग सी चमक दिखने लगी। धीरे धीरे सब बदलता रहा। अपने ही दम पर अपनी बड़ी बहन की सगाई और शादी की। कोशिश पूरी थी ये सोचकर अगर पापा होते तो क्या क्या करते अपनी बेटी के लिए। रिश्तेदार ये सब देख, सड़ते रहे ये सोचकर इसने ये सब अकेले कैसे कर लिया बिना उनकी मदद लिए? एक सकारात्मक ऊर्जा लगी अपने अंदर। देखा तो मैं बदल चुकी थी। वो सहमी सी लड़की जो रहा करती थी किसी अंधेरे मे वो अब एक सकारात्मक सोच लेकर अपनी मंज़िल के ओर बढ़ रही थीं।

ज़िन्दगी ने मुझे एक नही, बल्कि कई सारी चीज़ें सिखाई हैं।

धैर्य।

सकारात्मक सोच।

कठनाईयों से लड़ना।

नकरात्मक सोच आते ही डॉक्टर की मदद लेना।(आत्महत्या सोच)

बिना सोचे किसी की तुलना न करना।

जरूरतमंद व्यक्ति की मदद करना।

अपने अहम को अपने तक सीमित रखना।

-Bhavnna Sharmaa

Thats Why Everyone is Bad in this World......

Let’s pretend I have a dark secret.

I believe I am not good enough and therefore I operate under that assumption.

I am convinced that in order to deserve love I have to please others.

I have to work at getting people to like me.

If someone else wants anything from me I am compelled to provide it. Otherwise, they won’t want to be with me.

Examples of what other people might want from me vary broadly: help with their homework, keeping their secrets, liking what they like, wanting to do what they want to do. Sex.

I’m almost pleading at first. I jump at the chance to give what I can.

But then, wait a minute. This isn’t right.

I feel used, become resentful, angry.

Resentment is a symptom of poor boundaries. I shouldn’t have let it get this far.

Another symptom of poor boundaries is the sense something is wrong with “everybody”.

Why is everybody using me? Why does everyone lie to me? Why does everyone end up betraying me?

Boundaries are hard to set – saying no is difficult – because the underlying belief is that saying no will cost me the relationship. It is an indication that I am not giving enough, that I am not loyal enough, not dedicated enough.

It must mean I’m selfish.

But setting boundaries is not selfish. It’s healthy. It’s how I respect myself.

Look around you. Boundaries are why fences exist, and walls and doors and curtains. They are indispensible for our well-being.

I need to honor myself enough to acknowledge that my boundaries can and will shift. They are mine, so they can do anything they want.

Yesterday I was happy to help you with your homework. I am not willing to do it today. I had sex with you last night. I don’t want to this morning. I don’t have to explain.

“No” is a complete sentence.

Boundary setting is a life-long exercise that you often need to re-examine, re-establish. I am giving up my weekend to finish what my boss asked me to do. I’m working late, again.

I’m saying yes when I want to say no to get someone to think well of me.

I need to be brave enough to say: this is who I am. This is what I like. This is what I can do for you. But, you can’t push against who I am. You can’t get me to like something I don’t.

You can’t get me to do anything that makes me uncomfortable.

My discomfort for your benefit is not healthy for either of us.

-Dushka Zapata

“I know, I know … ,”

“I know, I know … ,” my friend Peter said.

“What do you mean you know if I haven’t even explained how the strategy works?” I insisted.

The more I tried to talk to Peter, the more defensive he got.

“Listen to me, Peter,” I persisted. “I can help you brainstorm solutions to this problem.”

“No, no, Hector, I got it, I got it,” said Peter rejecting my help.

Later that night I asked myself, “What did I say wrong? Did I offend Peter in any way?” I worried.

I was confused. I could sense that Pete hadn’t been listening to me. I couldn't understand why.

---

Nearly a year went by before I had the opportunity to see Peter again at a friend’s house. After chatting a moment with him, I found the opportunity to talk about the misunderstanding of that day.

“Pete, I don’t know what happened that day. I could sense you were uncomfortable with my conversation. Please, accept my apologies if I offended you in any way that night.”

“No, you didn’t say anything wrong, Hector. No worries,” Pete said.

“But why you were so defensive? I don’t understand.”

“I almost lost my job a few weeks after that event. I was struggling with myself that day. Today I understand that I was arrogant and full of my success. My pride didn’t allow me to listen to your advice.”

“But I was just trying to help,” I said.

“Yes, I get it. Today I can understand more about my reaction that day. I call it the CEO disease.”

“CEO disease?” I asked. “You are a very successful CEO, my friend. What do you mean?”

Pete explained, “The problem with successful CEOs is that we have the power to create a world around us that caters to our own validation. We choose who we surround ourselves with. If we are full of our success, most of those people will want to please us, never telling us what we need to hear, no matter what warning signs may be flashing in front of us.”

“So that day you were uncomfortable because I was telling you what you didn’t want to hear?” I asked.

“Correct! This blindness almost destroyed the company!”

“Really? That bad?” I asked surprised.

“I’ve learned that the biggest inhibitor of success is arrogance and pride,” Pete said.

“It got really bad. We’re still making changes. Today, however, I don't want people to agree with me all the time! We need to challenge ourselves constantly to achieve success. That’s a culture of growth.”

“Great lesson, Pete!”

“Yes! Lesson learned: Never let success go to your head and failure to your heart,” Pete said laughing

-Hector Quintannilla

Attrition in Software Companies........

Apparently, there are 1.6 million students graduating each year from engineering colleges in India alone. All of them are hungry, some of them are talented. Plus, they are cheap, ready to drink the kool-aid and work hard to prove themselves.

They are excellent resources to replace the aging or slowing or experienced engineers who tend to become costly and legacy over time. Sure, there will be some valuable experienced engineers whose abrupt exit will hurt the team and organization. The management will try to retain them through negotiations. However, the job of management is also to ensure there are no such bottleneck superstars in the first place.

Most software companies have learnt to live with attrition. They have evolved into railway platforms. People come and go all the time.

-Imtiaz Mohammad,CSE IITK

Education and Awareness