Want to be extraordinary?

While moving our office, recently, I chatted with one of my office partners as we watched her TV loaded.

“I’d never have a TV in my office. It’d drive me crazy,” I said.

Though to be truthful, I’ve been told on occasion that’s a nearby destination.

“Wow, my husband watches TV constantly,” she replied. “We have 10 in our house. And another 6 at our mountain condo.”

“Yikes, we have one. And we’re not hooked to cable. We just stream a program while we eat dinner or a movie on the weekend. I can’t imagine watching that much TV.”

“Well, my husband can’t survive without it.”

Now, I’ve never watched TV much. And I clearly remember our son, when he was young, one evening curing me of even the little I watched.

We’d enjoyed dinner together and I’d gone into the living room to watch a program I enjoyed.

He came in, sat down beside me on the sofa and said, “Dad, do we have to watch TV?”

I looked over at his little loving face and replied, “No we don’t.” And I turned it off and never turned it back on in an evening again until our kids left for college.

And what did I do instead?

Well, let’s see.

I talked and played with our kids.

Talked with my wife.

Hmm, went to bed early occasionally with my wife.

Read books.

Slept enough.

And the result?

I have a great relationship with both of our now grown children.

Have a great relationship with my wife.

Learned the equivalent of several additional college degrees.

Built successful businesses.

Invested and built our net worth.

Enjoy great health.

Oh, and enjoyed a few early nights with my wife.

To live an extraordinary life you need to do what the ordinary choose not to do.

               -Doug Armey

When to walk away from a relationship?

When I dread instead of look forward to seeing you.

When I feel perpetually exhausted.

When nothing seems to get resolved without high-octane drama.

When the reasons for the relationship are internal. It’s not that I love you, it’s that I’m lonely.

When what you think I mean is not at all what I said, and this happens systematically.

Or when you say that’s not what you said, and I know that you did, and this happens systematically.

When you mistreat me: raise your voice, gaslight me, play games, twist words.

When we want different things.

When despite our efforts, we are fundamentally incompatible.

When there is an absence of trust.

When anything in our dynamic is hurting either your life or mine.

When my life is not interesting to you – or yours to me.

When I don’t like who I am when I am with you.

When the only time we truly connect is when we have sex. And that’s great but I want connection everywhere. Everywhere.

When the most you can give me is less than what I need.

After you’ve clearly stated that you cannot love me.

    -Dushka Zapata

Less than 60% in 10-12 ?

I got 59.8 percent in my 12th, not even first class. Of course, it took me time and effort to rebound. Screw the world as it will be cruel to you. “Kuch to log kahange. Kahane he unka kaam”….

I reboubded by focusing on learning Computer science as I genuinely loved the subject. I did my undergrad from one of the smallest engineering colleges. Actually I was the first batch for my college.

 I worked hard for 4 years filling my gaps in knowlegde, humbled and focussed. At the end of 4 years, I got AIR 2 in GATE and went to India's best university ( Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore) for my masters degree. The world appluaded me.

 But, I became numb to the world as I know what they say doesnot really matter in the long run. From then on, I learnt to work hard and ignore the world. My efforts and a bit of luck took me places.

Trust me, it is easy to say all of this in retrospective.

 But, it's not easy to go through those years of struggle. But, that's what made me strong. My suggestion is to ignore the world and buckle up for a few years of efforts and hard work.

I just recalled this quote from Rudyard Kipling's poem: “ If you can meet with triumph and diaster and meet those imposters the same, …., you will be a man my son.” We had this poem in our school and I still remember it vividly even today as it helped me learn some important lessons of life.

--Srikanth Varma Chekuri

#Life

‘Humare ghar ladki kyun hogi, humne koi karz nahi lie. Humare ghar toh bas bete honge. Desi ghee ke ladoo hote hain bete toh.’

‘Why will God send girls in our house. We are not debtors. We will have only sons in our house. After all sons are the richest of sweets.’

These were the exact words of my elder sister's mother-in-law to my mother, which she said sarcastically when my elder sister delivered her first born, a baby boy, 13 years back.

A little backdrop :

We are three sisters, and my elder sister is married into a house where all four children are men. My brother-in-law, his real brother and his two cousin brothers of his paternal uncle.

So when my sister delivered a baby boy, her mother-in-law taunted her indirectly that they are superior as every child born in their family has been a boy because they're not ‘debtors', however my parents are of highest degree, as they have three daughters and not even one son.

Year 2011 :

Their younger daughter-in-law was pregnant, and she delivered twin girls. When my sister told us this news, I silently asked my mother if she remembered that incident when that family compared daughters to debt and inferiority and spoke big words that God will never send daughters in their house because they were not ‘debtors' of anyone. 

My mother did remember.

My mother called my sister's mother-in-law, congratulated her, but soon realized she wasn't too happy after seeing two girls, that too at once.

Although my mother disconnected the call after formalities, I was happy that finally God broke her false pride of having only sons in their home by sending daughters. I was happy that now she won't hurt another mother just because she have only daughters.

I also wish that they won't discriminate further and would equally love them, and understand that daughters and sons are equal blessings of God.

Always remember, God is going to serve his justice at the right time. No human is superior than God. So watch out your words and actions.

   -Vidushi Gupta

Dirty Truth About Corporate World....

No company can provide a career path to every single individual in the organisation. Yet, most employees want to believe there is a beautiful story with a happy ending being scripted for them by their bosses and HR.

Those behind the glass doors know how the “bell curve” is hanging around everyone's neck, all the time. The politics gets dirtier as you climb the levels. When everyone is fighting hard to survive and find a better chair for themselves, there is no time to design a career for the subordinates.

Each year, few employees get promoted and feel like they have a career. Usually, these are the ones who make their bosses look good. A vast majority of the workforce gets frustrated to stay where they are despite many years of effort. 

And the rest join the dreaded to-be-managed-out-eventually list. Once put in this bucket, it is incredibly hard to come out of it and build a career at the same place.

Managing your career is your responsibility. Most companies don’t say this out loud because most employees can’t digest this fact and still stay motivated.

                                 - Imtiaz Mohammad

Enterpreneur

I've learned the hard way these lessons:

1. Develop the discipline to LISTEN
1. We don't know everything
2. As a teenager I had big issues with the know-it-all complex.
3. Notice I say discipline because we must fight it… we can hear for advice and quickly dismiss it because we think we know better.
4. Ignoring this principle may crush your entrepreneurial dreams.
2. Continuous lifetime learning attitude
1. When I got out of College I promised myself I would never study again in my life… mistake!
2. Read… there's unimaginable value in every book… It took me years to develop the habit of reading, I currently read 1 or 2 books per month but my goal is to read 1 book per week… start now.
3. Attend live seminars focused on your areas of interest.
3. Develop the discipline of ASKING for help
1. Pride will crush you… be humble and ask
2. It's the biggest shortcut you can ever find to solve problems.
3. Why figure things out investing hundreds of hours if you can get an answer in minutes? Get pride away of your life.
4. I've always been surprised how generous people are when we ask
5. Find coaches and mentors
4. Get started ASAP
1. You will never find the ‘perfect’ time to get started…
2. Fear of failure is your worst enemy to get started
3. Entrepreneurship is difficult to study… its a way of life… and its ONLY mastered through real life experience…
4. There are no shortcuts… get started now.  -Hector Quintanilla

Things you Should Start Doing....

• Start exercising regularly. It’s an investment. Your body will thank you for treating it well when you were younger. Better to spend more time in the gym than in the hospital.
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• Plan your life after retirement. Buy a health insurance plan early. Develop a skill, which will keep you occupied when you leave your job.
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• Start travelling. As your savings increase, you can explore places farther off. With age, your willingness and stamina to travel may decrease.
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• Learn to cook, drive and do household chores. You won’t have to depend on anyone.
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• Put aside a portion of your earning as saving. You’ll feel more confident to spend if you are prepared for the rainy day.                     -Rahul Shrivastava

Happiness for free?

Please see the picture of the kids who are enjoying their slider ride.

These children are enjoying the free fall on the slider when they are coming down from the top of the slider

.

They are smiling and having fun.

However, this is not the complete picture of the slider because part of it is hidden in this picture.

The complete picture of a slider is as following.

You can easily see in this picture that on the opposite side of the slider, there is a ladder.

You have to first ride the ladder to reach to the top of the slider and then only you can enjoy the free fall on the slider.

If you are not willing to take the pain of riding the ladder, you can’t enjoy the joy of the slider.

In the same way, all our happiness are the result of our pain.

If there is no pain, there is also no gain.

• A player practices for years before he wins a medal in the field.
• A students studies for decades before he gets his dream job.
• An entrepreneurs suffers for years before he gets success and wealth.
• A leader suffers years of humiliation and failure before he succeeds and gets adulation of people.

Nothing worthwhile can ever be achieved in this world free of cost.

How can you hope to achieve happiness, the greatest and the most valued desire of human being, without paying the due price for it?

 -Awdhesh Singh

Computer Science or Electrical Engineering?

Don’t be silly. There is no such thing as the “best” major or field!

At most, there is a “best” field/major for you, meaning a field/major that most closely matches your interests, your experience, your ambitions, your goals, your environment, your opportunities, your costs, and your personality.

But there may not even be a “best” field/major for you. More likely, EE would be better for you in some respects, and CS would be better for you in others.

     - Jeff Erickson

This Generation...

Here is the list of things which make our generation unhappy:

1. Generation is unhappy because there is no optimism in society overall.
2. More peace but division in politics makes it worse and animosity in air.
3. Social media is setting unrealistic living standard which we don't get in real life and get unhappy.
4. Pornography, same way sets completely different sex standard which makes this generation sexually frustrated in lives.
5. People have so many followers and subscribers but no real friends who could be there for person as a person.
6. This generation is trying to meet their emotional needs through the social medias.
7. This generation's source of happiness has changed from real things to likes, upvotes and retweets.
8. This generation has started seeking false ego through numbers e.g. likes and retweets
9. This generations have lost the purpose of living; it has nothing to be motivated by.
10. This generation is going from being religious to atheism. I don't say god exists or not but I must say God gives hope.
11. This generation has found new cheap thrills like porn, Netflix, YouTube and drugs but not real happiness.
12. This generation is raised with high expectations.
13. The Internet.
14. Crippling students’ loans, which forces students to do jobs which they don't like but do because of huge loans.
15. Food is another reason; this generation is eating crap in the name of food.
16. Lack of sleep of this generation is another cause of unhappiness.
17. Indecisiveness gives unhappy feelings. We make tones of small decisions e.g. where to park, getting out of bed, what to eat etc.
18. This generation has this habit of holding unnecessarily long grudges.
19. we, Humans has this need to be by all ourselves, alone. But this generation is with someone even when sitting all alone because of smart phones.
20. This generation is so advanced that we can't afford mistakes so afraid of making mistakes make us unhappy.
21. because of high competition, we are all jealous inside.
22. Just to maintain a living standard we get ourselves with a wrong person due to wrong decisions.
23. Because of technology the gratification has lost its meaning and value because we want everything instant.
24. This generation's another cause of unhappiness is choosing the wrong movie, book, song or game to play. There are certain non-branded games with low installs that give you something real.
25. We are born with debts, govt debts, students’ loans, house, and many more.
26. Whenever you feel unhappy without reason play any mind engaging game for few minutes. Don’t know how but it works.
27. ProcrastiNATION is one another cause of unhappiness. Pile of worries.
28. We have this weird attitude of focusing on what we don't have instead of focusing on what we do have.
29. Again, lack of spirituality and religious touch. I don't say you must follow some religion. But it gives you hope, happiness and reason to do things which give you real happiness.
30. This generation has started to mix their laziness for boredom.
31. This generation's competition is against the robots and technology so we have become perfectionist. So,things don't go our way and we get anxious                                                                                                                                            -Emily Clark                                        

10 Things not worth....

1. Forcing Your Help - You cannot force anyone to get help or to take the help you offer. Don’t bother helping people who do not want to be helped.                                                                                                       
2.  Not Forgiving - The anger you keep around will only bring you down. It will not change the other person.                                       
3. Lost Relationships - If you feel no love, no connection and no happiness with your partner it may be time to let the relationship go. Some relationships are not worth saving.
4. Road Rage - I mean, when was it ever worth your time to be mad at someone on the road? What has that ever done for you?
5. Keeping Toxic People Around - No, they do not change. No, it will not be like before. No, you cannot help them out. Move on and find people that improve your life.
6. Anger on Social Media - It’s interesting how many curse words are used online simply when people disagree with someone’s opinion.
7. People Pleasing - No matter what you do the person will remain unhappy not because of what you did, but because their outside world is not what is causing them to be unhappy; it’s what’s going on inside.
8. Obsessive TV watching - The immediate gratification you get right now is absolutely outclassed by what you could have done instead with that time. But you already know that looking back.
9. Worrying over something that hasn’t happened yet - It rarely turns out the way you expect it to and if it does you couldn’t change it anyway, so why bother worrying about it before the moment comes to pass?
10. Worrying over something that is already long passed - The situation is gone, it’s done, you can’t change it anymore. Let it go! Use your time for better things than fantasizing about what you would do differently; it only wastes your time in the moment.                                              -Lukas Schwekendiek,