Should I be truly an expert at one thing or have competence over many things ?

 One of the common mistakes I see people making in every area of their life is to assume that most things are an “either/or” equation.

But they aren’t.

More often than not, they’re “both/and.”

And to answer your question, the BEST thing you can do with your life is to develop a wide breadth of skills and knowledge (a jack of all trades) AND devote yourself to mastering a single skill or trade.

Or to put it another way, “To build a T Shaped Life”

Let me break this down for you…

Mastery is said to require at least 10,000 hours of disciplined effort.

Which means that you can realistically MASTER one skill every 5 years (assuming that you’re mastering your primary profession and working 8 hours 5 days a week with a few holidays).

So, if you’re 30 right now and you live to be 70, it’s possible for you to become a true master of 5–8 different disciplines throughout your lifetime.

But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

To become “World Class” at something (in the top 5% of the world), you rarely need more than 250–500 hours of practice.

So…

Assuming that you’re only willing to devote only 3 hours a day to secondary skills—whether it’s reading, writing, playing the guitar, doing yoga, or training jujitsu—you can become highly competent at 2–3 MORE skills every year.

In a given decade, you can master two skills and become world class at 20–30 more.

Pretty crazy, right?

The trick is to become more disciplined in the way that you use your time.

Most Americans waste 6+ hours a day on social media, porn, TV, and video games.

And if you’re willing to cut back on these vices and invest those extra hours into more fulfilling pursuits, you can quickly build your own T shaped life where you are a master of 2–3 AND a jack of all trades.

Hope this helps.

Stay Grounded,
Andrew

{Bloggers' Note : By Top 5% Author meant that being in top 5% of total population of the world  in that skill which if you calculate is pretty much accurate. I will even go as far as to say that you can be  in among Top 1% of world population  in many skills but sure enough you will be among top 5% of world population in that skill if you dedicate & practice 250-500 hour. Do Try it, Pick One Skill & Learn & Practice it for 250-500 hours and then see }

Are you like this?

Five years ago, I was a.......

 Five years ago, I was a lazy kid who wasted his time playing video games and watching TV.

I dreamed of success, I dreamed of changing myself, I dreamed of making my parents proud!

One day, instead of dreaming, I began to act. I studied. I practiced. I left home at 8 AM and returned at 10 PM. I got obsessed.

Since then, I have

• 6 International Science Olympiad medals.
• 5 National Basketball Championship gold medals, being a starter.
• been admitted to the University of Cambridge

As I think of the moment when I transformed from the lazy guy to the hard-working one, I recall that I never read an advice from a stranger.

I never read a self-development article. I never asked how to change. Do you know why?

Because you, and I, and every single person on earth, knows what to do.

YOU know what you have to do! I KNOW what I have to do!

GET UP! FIGHT! WORK HARD! CHALLENGE YOURSELF!

Get up from your bed! Pick that toothbrush! Brush your teeth!

All you have to do is that little twist when you tell yourself “no, enough is enough! I WILL CHANGE! I WILL NOT STAY IN THIS PIT!”

It’s not easy. I have been there. Changing habits is difficult. Changing a lifestyle is even harder.

But look yourself in the mirror, ask yourself who do YOU want to be?!

Whatever your answer is, fight for it. Push yourself to do the necessary things.

BE THE DIFFERENCE-MAKER IN YOUR LIFE!

Stop saying “I can’t”. Of course, you can’t when you say it like it.

You can! You can! You can!

Unless you are suffering from depression or other psychological disorders, then you bloody can!

Don’t lie to yourself.

-Ara Mambreyan

If a cab driver makes more money than an IT professional, why should I study?

How to Stop Being Average/Mediocre ?

 The answer to this is known by all, provided you have the courage to ask your inner self.

I am not the best. But I have myself observed in my inexperienced life that the path to being the best or the ‘different’ or the ‘ground-breaker’ lies in the road of ‘averageness’.

You just need to work hard for it. There is no substitute for it. the moment you start working hard, you are on your road to ‘bestness’. the moment you get satisfied and start living like ‘the other guys’, you lose it all. You become one of the many ‘other guys’.

You don’t need to do anything different, just follow what your job is with cent percent sincerity. And give your maximum. You lose the track towards ‘bestness’ the moment you think of relaxing(relaxing here means leaving the work you are doing for some other activity, and not related to sleep or whatever).

See all the distinguished people in the world. They didn’t do anything special. They led a normal life with full devotion, and ended up being special. When I see people who are awesome at Computers, or whatever, they have just been working hard for years.

I, like almost everyone(again, as I said above, everyone knows the answer to the question asked) have seen many ups and downs in my life. After observing myself and many others, I have come to the above realizations. I am fortunate enough to have seen the best and the worst of me at a young age. I have seen how sincerity towards a job can do wonders, even if others have a better affinity towards the job than you, and I have also seen how you can get left behind if you lose the zeal.

I am yet to discover what the ‘best’ is, but I am sure it hasn’t come yet. I am young and inexperienced. But I know somewhere inside that the road to ‘bestness’ passes through towns called determination, hard work, and focus.

 

-Kalpit Veerwal, 360/360 in JEE Mains - AIR 1

I am a high achiever

 

I am a high achiever. Since early age, I have been ambitious and over the years I have developed a mindset that feeds my big appetite. Some people think that I am just a rat in a rat race. But, believe me, I know too well that life is not about ambition. To me, goals and achievements are like a video game levels which I pass and move on to the next ones.

That being said here are 7 THINGS THAT I LIVE BY TO REACH MY GOALS (when and if I have any):

N1) PUT WORK

No secret here. No bullshit. If you want to succeed you have to put work. Anyone who says otherwise is either a liar or won the lottery.

So unless you are one lucky fella, you have to put sweats and tears into your goals. That’s the only way you can truly succeed.

N2) I NEED PLANS

If I don’t know what I am going to do after 30 minutes, then my day is a waste. I need a strict plan which I have to follow. It makes things so much easier and I do not waste time on “imagining” how my day will turn out.

Instead, each night I put on a schedule for the following day. That way, I know what I am going to do and I do not waste time throughout the day.

N3) GOODBYE SOCIAL LIFE

People ask me how did I manage to achieve success while also being social. The sad truth is I didn’t. Social interactions absorb my mental energy.

When I am having an argument with my friend, and after an hour I sit down to work, I can’t be productive. All I do is analyze what my friend said, why he said it or how I should have reacted. I can’t do that if I want to concentrate on building skills.

Yes, sometimes I invest time in friends and people from whom I can learn. Sometimes I hang out with old friends whom I missed or with my family. But my time is usually limited and I generally don’t hang out frequently.

N4) SACRIFICE SHORT-TERM DELIGHT

In 10th grade, I had the opportunity to study astronomy and possibly participate in International Olympiads. However, I did not study for them as I believed that it was better to concentrate on some theoretical components before rushing into problem-solving.

People thought I was making a mistake, including my mum, teachers and friends. I did not participate in any International Olympiad in 10th grade.

The next year? 4 International Science Olympiad medals in a single year.

This brings me to my next point.

N5) OTHERS DON’T KNOW YOU

Hello others, I am Ara Mambreyan and you have no idea what goes inside my head.

In 9th grade, I heard how one of my teachers said that I wouldn’t succeed in science; 6 International Science Olympiad medals since then. “The dumbest person in that basketball team”; 5 National Basketball Championship gold medals while being a starter. “I don’t think writing is yours”… decent writing skills now (or so I would like to believe).

People don’t know you. Yes, it’s important to hear every advice and weigh each opinion. But it all comes down what works for YOU!

N6) FORGET PRIDE

My teacher says that I am dumb. Who cares?

If he thinks so, it’s because I left such an impression. It’s not personal. It’s either my idiosyncrasy or his. Either way, you do not have to lose the opportunities someone provides — be it partnership, knowledge or advice — just because they don’t like you.

Pride is not a good nothing. Yes, it’s important to know your worth. But people are… well, people and you have to understand everyone.

There is nothing personal…

N7) OH, BUT TAKE IT PERSONALLY

The only way you can succeed is if you really, really, want something. Motivation is like the fuel that you have to drive the road of success. If you don’t have it, you better settle.

But to have motivation, you have to take things personally. You have to want to prove the world your worth, prove that people were wrong about you, prove that you are great…

Take it personally…

-Ara Mambreyan

It is easy to succeed...

I am in my late 20s and realized that I wasted a lot of time

 Two kinds of people would be reading this answer:

1. Who want sympathy and assurance that you still got time left.
2. People who genuinely believe they have wasted their time and want to make a genuine effort to achieve something.

If you are the 1st person then I’m sorry, this answer is not for you.

If you belong to the 2nd group then this answer might help you.

Lets go by facts and logic rather than blindly saying “ohh, you have a lot of time still left”.

No matter if you are in your 20s, 30s or 40s. If you feel like you have wasted past X years of your life means it’s a fact and cannot be changed.

The good thing though is that you have a realisation of the time you have wasted, unlike other people who are still delusional.

The very first thing you would need to do is to accept the fact and later analyse the cause of why exactly have you wasted X precious years of your life.

1. Analyse what went wrong:

Were you lazy? or were you engaged in some activities which consumed your time?

What exactly was the thing which made you waste your time.

Were you spending all your time on social media or were you in a relationship which took all the time away from you.

Once you are done finding the culprit, half your job is done.

2. Find a way to fix it:

Once you know what’s holding you back, you need a way to fix it.

If you feel you waste time because you are glued to phone all day, you cannot simply change that by saying “ohh, from tomorrow I will spend less time on my phone”.

We all know that never works, there needs to be some serious action taken against the thing which is wasting your time.

Like switching off your phone or using a dumb phone instead of a smartphone.

Extreme times call for extreme measures.

If there is something which has wasted years of your life then you won’t get rid of it unless you take extreme measures.

3. Keep track of your time:

Get a wrist watch and a journal, track your activity by every hour.

Note everything you have done in your journal by every hour.

I know it sounds silly but you won't be able to tell if you have improved unless you have some metrics to measure your performance.

Review your time journal at the end of the day to see how you did.

Once you do it for about a week you will realise how well you did and it will give you a sense of satisfaction and you will feel in control of your time.

4. Achievement comes from efforts:

People tell me, I’ve invested X months on gaining a skill or X years working on my business yet I am not successful.

The reality of the situation is they are tracking the wrong metric, what really counts are the efforts.

You can achieve more than other people in the same about or even less time by putting in more effort.

To sum it up:

Realise, analyse, fix, track and put in the effort and you should be good.

Hope this helps.

  -Saurav Sharma

It is easy to succeed

My Strategy was...........

 I had joined Kreatryx coaching(June-December 2017) and got AIR 24 in gate 2018.

My strategy was to practice more and more rather than studying notes again and again. Numerical practice helps to remember concepts.

From june to sep:-
Day schedule:-

• 6 hr classes (8am to 2pm)
• after class i used to sleep for 2hr so that i could feel fresh before start studying
• Read notes for 1 hr and used to solve problems on that topic from koncept booklet and gate previous year(2-3hrs)

Daily i used to study 3:30-4hrs, in that almost 2:30-3 hrs were for practice only because most of the theory was covered in class in much effective way.

From oct to dec:-
I started revision of some subjects along with classes.

• 8hr classes(6hr regular class+ 2hr revision batch)
• after class i used to sleep for 1-1:30 hr.
• Read notes 1 hr and used to solve problems on that topic from koncept booklet, and gate previous year
• 1:30-2hr for revision subject(Revised from notes in short way(formulas and some of concepts) and did practice from krash material and some of previous year questions.)

From 28 dec to 31 jan:-
I used to study 7-9 hrs.

• Revised notes
• Solved gate previous year and krash material
• Attempted mock test in alternate 3 days and subject test on alternate day(Because i had left many subject test so now after revising one subject i attempted one subject test.)

From 1 feb to 8 feb:-

• Read notes of all subjects
• Attempted 4 mock tests

9Feb:-

• Read all Knotes(Short Notes)

I mentioned approx time because there was no fix time for particular task. My aim was to complete that task even it takes more/less time.

Every student has different strategy and schedule. I suggest you that make your own strategy and try to solve problems as much as you can. Quality of material is more important than quantity because you will learn more concepts and approach.

All the best

-Sudheer Dhukia

 

Narcissists are addictive!

 Narcissists are addictive! You want him so badly because you have been trained to want him.

When Narcissists want a woman, they go all out to get her attention. They are not at all shy because they are totally focused on their goal: Getting you to want them. And they usually have had a lot of experience with women and have a pretty good repertoire of techniques that work for them.

They stand out in this way from the average guy who can be shy, awkward, or simply less determined and confident by comparison.

Then later, when your Narcissistic guy “has” you, suddenly you are no longer the most important thing in the world to him. The thrill of the chase is over and he starts to find fault with you, or gets bored. His attention wanders.

As he pulls away, most women respond by thinking that if only they try harder, they will get the really amazing and incredibly attentive guy they fell in love with back. When this does not work, the fights start and the relationship turns ugly. Suddenly everything you do is wrong and he lets you know this continuously.

Cut to the chase: The relationship ended, you stayed strong for a while, but now he is back courting you again.

Wanting him back is like being tempted by the idea of ice cream when you are on a diet:

Logic tells you that you are better off without the ice cream, but your sense memories of the smell, taste, and texture of ice cream on your tongue tempt you to have it anyway.

As with a diet, it is easy to lose sight of your main goal—whether it is dropping 20 pounds so you like the way you look in a bathing suit again—or remembering with your “hoovering” ex that after he gets you back, he will treat you badly again so you need to stay away.

His “in and out” Behavior: Part of his allure is due to his use of what psychologists call “intermittent reinforcement:” you never know when he is going to call you or pull back.

This is equivalent to the rat in a cage in a psychology experiment who is being trained to keep pressing a bar that occasionally drops a food pellet into its cage. If the bar is taken away entirely, the rat can recover and eventually finds out that there are other ways to get food. However, if the food bar is sometimes there delivering pellets and sometimes not there; every time it reappears the rat goes back to pressing it again.

Punchline: Of course you want the ice cream! Of course you want love! That is why you are hoping your Narcissist food bar will go back to delivering love pellets again.

Solution: The basic solution requires you to:

• Step 1: Distraction: Get busy to get your mind on other things. Start some new projects. Date other people. Plan outings with your friends.
• Step 2: Remember the Bad: Make a mental film of him being mean to you and play it in your mind every time you weaken and want him back. Make a list of all the bad things he did to you and all the reasons that he is a bad choice as a mate.
• Step 3: Re-commit to your Goal: As with a diet, or giving up smoking, or foods to which you are allergic, you have to recommit to your goal periodically. We all slip up, we all get tempted. Go back to reminding yourself of what you do want that is good for you. In your heart, you know it is not him.

Elinor Greenberg, PhD, CGP

In private practice in NYC and the author of the book: Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety.

www.elinorgreenberg.com