‘I love my parents so much that I will do whatever they want me to do’

‘I love my parents so much that I will do whatever they want me to do.’

This is by far one of the hilariously hyperemotional, magnanimously melodramatic, inarguably illogical lines I have ever heard.

At individual level, parents are like any other people—They have flaws. They make mistakes. Their knowledge is limited. They get complacement and stop updating with time. They cannot just be right about everything and everyone. And they are very, very, very ordinary humans just like you and a billion other people.

In such case, you can’t just blindly toe the lines drawn by them. Argue, discuss, explain, convince them or get convinced just like how you do with your peers when you are not comfortable doing what they tell you.

In many places, respect is often confused with fear and slavery. You can still have respect for your parents without being scared or being a slave to their opinions. You don’t have to follow everything they say and suffer your life thinking that you owe respect to them, as you are one who is going to face the maximum brunt or live longer with that decision for nodding without thinking.

Replace parents with boss in the first line and you’d be called robotic. Replace parents with your partner and you’d be told that you are in a controlling and toxic relationship. Or replace that with friends, you would be considered dumb.

It should be the same with parents. The reason why you don’t feel that is because you are conditioned and manupalted to see your parents as demigods.

A parent feeling that ‘My child will do what I say. He never argues with me.’

or

A child thinking that ‘My parents know what is best for me. They are always right’

are both examples of failed parenting, simple because it produced an individual who is not capable of taking his own decisions and standing up for what he believes in.

-Srinath Nalluri

How Much To Sleep ?

 It all depends on you, how much rest your mind and body demands. You can actually sleep for nine hours but what is most important is how you are utilising the time when you are studying.

If you are studying for say eight hours a day, make it the most effective time. If while studying you are thinking about Quora, Facebook, YouTube or how you can save the world from aliens or corona, if you are using phone every ten minutes, then that is a sheer waste of time. You are fooling yourself then. If you genuinely want to crack the exam then study to your maximum potential, with utmost dedication.

If you are tired, take a break. Maybe a power nap or a walk in the garden/roof or listening to something motivational or a song, that depends all on you how you will feel better and will get energy to go back to studies.

But please don't do this thing that first you start using WhatsApp or something else, waste an hour or so on that and then end up being more tired. This will waste your day.

Your rest time for such activities should be defined. Control your mind else regret is the worst feeling ever. Time won't come back . So decide well and study as per your potential and schedule you make.

If you can study only for one hour a day initially, no issues. Be sincere with that. Slowly your sitting capacity will improve automatically.

Eat well and healthy. It is rightly said that “ A healthy mind resides inside a healthy body”

Coming to me, I had no specific sleep patterns. But when I felt tired, I used to lie down for twenty minutes or took a power nap. Only thing I took seriously was that when I am studying, I am studying. It is initially difficult to control mind, but eventually as your ambition becomes more important than any other thing, you will be able to do it.

Just try every single day to reach your true potential, which actually is infinite.

All the best.

-Shuchita Arora UPSC-ESE (AIR-16)

5 Things to do before 30

Natural Organic Healthy Weight Loss & Weight Gain Supplements & Powders

 Do you watch naaptol?

Or homeshop 18?

Or other advertisements which claim that they have the remedy of weight loss in the form of tablets.

Well, let me tell you a story.

Anita (name changed), was a moderately obese girl. Although she didn't have any life threatening or disabling obesity, she was still concious about her weight. As she was an aspiring model, so all she wanted to do was lose those extra kilos.

Day and night, she prayed to God to make her lose weight.

Although in matters of diet, she knew no bounds. Samosa, gol gappa, moglai, egg roll, biriani.. You name it. None of them survived when anita was there.

She became depressed and started to have sleepless nights.

One night, she couldn't sleep, so she turned on the TV at 3 in the morning (3 Am).

Naaptol was showing a remedy of obesity.

“ Ye tablet 30 din lijiye aur paiye mere jaisi patli kamar “

(take these tablets for 30 days and get a slim waist like me)

A model with very sharp features and extremely slim waist announced.

Anita's happiness knew no bounds. She watched it and was convinced that she finally got the solution .

Without giving any second thoughts, she ordered 3 of them ( for 3 Months) and started taking it.

And wow!!

She started to lose weight, FOR REAL!!

She was so happy, that she can finally audition for modelling.

After 3 Months, she lost around 20 kgs. She started getting dressed up for the modelling audition which was scheduled within an hour. She was about to wear her gold necklace when she realised, she had a lump on her throat.

Like this.

Confused and scared that she might lose the audition, she started having palpitations. Her hands started to shake violently on its own (tremors) She thought it might be due to anxiety, or because she was having heavy menstrual bleeding for the past 2 months.

She calmed herself down, drank water and sat down. But of no use.

Few minutes later, she started feeling dizzy and boom!

She fainted.

She was immediately rushed to the hospital.

Basic tests were done which was normal.

However she was having staggering BLOOD PRESSURE and a very high heart rate.

He thyroid hormones were checked, and it was sky rocketing.

The doctors asked if she took any thyroid medications or not to her parents.

They denied.

Then they asked if she took any supplements.

She informed them about the naaptol thing.

The doctors realised it, admitted her for a few days, then discharged her with appropriate medications with a statutory warning “ DO NOT TOUCH THE SUPPLEMENTS EVER IN YOUR LIFE, YOU ARE ALREADY BEAUTIFUL “

So, what actually happened?

WELL, she was suffering from, what we call FACTITIOUS HYPERTHYROIDISM.

Our body produces thyroid hormones on its own. One of the major functions of thyroid hormone is to increased BASAL METABOLIC RATE. That means, the more the thyroid hormones, the more the calories are burnt and faster the weight is lost.

The naaptol frauds took advantage of this.

What they gave in their medicine, was additional thyroid supplements, which will thus increase the thyroid hormones in the body which will lead to more calories burnt and faster weight loss and hence anita lost weight so fast.

The innocent people who don't know about this is are surprised and extremely happy by this miracle and take them on a prolonged basis, leading to HYPERTHYROIDISM, which can lead to symptoms as occurred to ANITA.

BOTH HYPERTHYROIDISM AND HYPOTHYROIDISM can cause goitre(the swelling in the neck) , as shown in the image above.

Sometimes, people can die too.

So, guys, beware of these fraud products

- Dr Pallab Roy

Have you ever played a game of carom?

Have you ever noticed that a beginner who hardly know how to play the game, sometimes strike on a random basis and score good very good points purely by chance.

However, at the end only the best player wins.

In the same way, even a novice can defeat a champion card player, if he gets all three aces by luck/chance.

However, over long period, luck/chance factor gets neutralized and only the best player wins.

Experts may not be correct 100% of times.

However, their diagnosis and solution are much better than the common people who simply shoot in the dark and hope that the arrow will hit the target.

• If they fail to achieve their goal, they blame their bad luck.
• If they accidentally hit the target, they consider themselves better than the best.

However, they learn no lesson either way and don’t become better.

They keep shooting arrows on random basis till they hit a wrong target and get punished for their mistakes.

Common people are like them.

They ridicule the experts by blaming out their errors.

They solve their own problems in their own way like a patient taking drugs on random basis from a pharmaceutical shop to cure his own illness.

In this way, they commit many more errors and make their life much more miserable.

What do you do if you don't like yourself because of your bad habits and you don't have the energy to change them?

 You’ll experience even bigger problems for one simple reason:

If you don’t have the time or the energy to change your bad habits, your bad habits will change you.

You’ll lose track of time because days will turn into months, and months into years. One day, when you least expect it, you’ll look at yourself in the mirror and you’ll realize that you’re not the person you were once. Perhaps you won’t recognize yourself (and not just physically). Perhaps you will like yourself even less than you do today. And that will be a painful moment. What you don’t know today is when exactly the moment will arrive, but know this: you won’t be able to run away from your bad habits forever. They will most certainly catch up with you.

As for how you got into this situation, it’s possible that you’ve tried breaking your bad habits before but without success. At some point you may have realized that your efforts aren’t making a difference, and maybe you think now that the habits are impossible to give up, so much so that you might be thinking to yourself, I can’t stop doing this! I don’t have the willpower to stop and it’s exhausting to me!

If this is the case, you’re stuck in a habit loop of negative self-talk, resignation, and giving up. It’s not the best feeling in the world. It probably feels like you are losing a personal war with yourself. But there’s one good thing about this situation:

It’s not hopeless.

There is a way to change your bad habits, and it starts with talking to yourself differently. Next time you think to yourself, I can’t stop doing this! change your self-talk to this question: Why don’t I just try?

It’s a way to give yourself permission to react differently to a problem.

Here are several steps that will take you through the process.

• Think carefully if there is something else hiding behind your “I can't!” Maybe it’s the fear of not being able to do something successfully, or not being able to be the best in the class, or not doing it perfectly, or being scared you’ll embarrass yourself in front of other people.
• Next time you feel like reacting this way, ask yourself where the resistance is coming from. Be honest with yourself. Why are you resisting? Is it from fear, or lack of interest, or giving in to distractions that take over your day because you lack self-discipline? Find out what it is so you can do something about it.
• Think how this habit change can benefit you. The biggest benefit to making this change is that you can win over fear. It’s a powerful thing to keep a little mental space open to possibilities, instead of shutting the door before even trying something new or different.
• Ask the question, Why don’t I just try? Then observe how your brain reacts to it. What is the first thing that comes to mind for you? Do you look for potential obstacles if you try something different, or do you feel like you have more freedom to contemplate what a positive outcome will bring you?
• Consider the future version of you. What would your life be like if you decided not to let fear limit you? How would you deal with problems if you kept an open mind? What kind of person can you become if you start dealing with a bad habit now so that it doesn’t turn into an even bigger problem in the future? By making small steps every day to eliminate what doesn’t work to your advantage, you’re opening yourself up to more positive things — also habits — to enter your life. You are creating space for a more positive version of you. And that is worth fighting for

Types Of Friendship

 I’ve used a two-axis classification system for a while.

The 1–5 axis reflects the depth of your relationship.

• Level 1: You know their name and face, but don’t really interact with them.
• Level 2: You don’t really know this person on an individual level, but they’re part of your social group. You include them in events and Facebook group chats, but if they moved away, you wouldn’t really miss them. Generally, you don’t know much about them beyond shallow information (like where they work, what their main hobbies are, etc).
• Level 3: You have a 1:1 relationship with this person. You know how this person ticks, and you know large parts of their life story. You will go out of your way to hang out with them because you value them as a person.
• Level 4: This person is a semi-permanent fixture in your life. You have an individual relationship with this person, and they’ve been in your life for several years. This is the kind of person you would invite to your wedding, or call a “best friend.”
• Level 5: This is someone you would make enormous sacrifices for, like your spouse or child.

The A-C axis reflects how often you see your friend.

• Level A: You hang out or chat with them several times a week.
• Level B: You hang out with them most weekends.
• Level C: You see them sporadically, maybe once a month or once a year.

Examples

• Brian Bi is a Level 4A for me. I’ve known him for four years, and we hang out several times a week. Even when I’m not in the same city as him, he is still one of the first people I talk to when something happens in my life.
• For many people, coworkers are Level 1A or Level 2A, since you have lunch with them every day but aren’t necessarily best friends.
• People who were your best friends in high school, but who you lost touch with when you went to college in different states, might be Level 3C. You might get together with them only during school holidays, but still see them as good friends.

-Jessica Su

How Discouraging it is, when patients do not follow your medical advice ?

About a year ago a young, Spanish speaking mother came into the ER with her two children. The older child was about 5 and the younger (who was my patient) was two. The two year old girl had an ear infection. When I started looking at her chart I discovered she had been there the day before and prescribed an inexpensive antibiotic and ear drops for pain. As I examined the little girl I spoke with the mother using a translator and found out she didn’t get the medicine that was prescribed the day before. This was not a diagnostic dilemma. The patient has an obvious issue treated with a medication that typically works…. If you take it. The chart from the day before had discharge instructions in Spanish so in my mind the visit was complete. Diagnosis=otitis media. Treatment= same as what we told you yesterday. Frustrating that they came back to the ER but no surprise she wasn’t better. I went about my shift and discharged them summarily and didn’t give it another thought. These things happen about three times a shift in the ER.

On my way home after my ten hours in the pit I stopped at a stoplight two miles from the hospital. I saw a homeless man on one corner with a cardboard sign asking for money. On another corner however was a well dressed, young Hispanic woman with a sign that said “baby sick.. need money for medicine”. I realized she looked familiar and was suddenly struck by the truth this was the mother of the patient I dismissed early in the day. I pulled my car over and walked up to her and in my broken Spanish apologized to her. I gave her $20 for her antibiotic and ear drops and begged her to go home where I was sure the five year old was trying to care for the two year old who was crying with ear pain.

I don’t tell this story because I did a good thing by giving someone money. In fact, I’m ashamed to remember it. I failed this lady and her child and endangered them all because I dismissed them out of hand as non compliant. The truth is that patients come to us for our advice. Typically at significant cost in time or money. If they choose not to follow our advice I think the least we can do is ask “why?”. Sometimes it is a lack of understanding due to poor communication. Sometimes they don’t like the advice or recommendations. Sometimes though, they want to be compliant and will take steps to do so that would humble you. However, they could still fail and it is wrong to blame the patient for not getting better.

Dr.Robert Frantz  MD,BS

Is IITJEE Worth It?

 The biggest misconception that people have about IITs and JEE preparation is that people go to IITs to study and that JEE tests one’s Physics, Chemistry, and Maths abilities.

Hear me out.

To be successful in life, one needs to learn certain qualities:

1. Persistence
2. Hard work
3. Dedication
4. Focus
5. Handling failures
6. Being around smart people
7. Learnability

The list is obviously not exhaustive. These are some qualities that came to the top of my mind. If one is able to develop these qualities, with a high probability, they can become successful in life. The chances of failure will drastically go down, with obviously, some exceptions.

IITs and the JEE preparation don’t teach you academics at all. In fact, academics (including Physics, Chemistry, and Maths) are used as a means to teach you the above abilities.

Let’s take an example. When you were young, your father gave you a piggy bank to save money. You saved Rs. 1 or Rs. 2 coins over the month/year and that turned into a sizeable hundred of Rupees worth of saving. Did your father intend to teach you how to save Rs. 100?

No.

He intended to teach you the concept of savings in general so that you become wiser financially. He wanted you to learn the value of hard work, patience, and money, and today, if you’d have followed his advice well, you’d have learned a bunch of other things - investing in mutual funds and stocks, not spending money on unnecessary things, etc.

The same is the case with IITs and JEE preparation. When someone studies Physics, Chemistry, and Maths in Class 11th and 12th, or studies CSE in B. Tech at IIT Bombay, they are not learning SN1/SN2 Reaction or Newton’s law of motion. They are rather learning the important life skills I mentioned above.

I prepared for JEE from 2011 - 2013 and then joined the Computer Science Program at IIT Bombay from 2013 - 2017. Do you think I remember anything about the ideal gas equation, inverse trigonometry, the moment of inertia, or Stoke’s law? I don’t even remember the instruction sets that I learned in the Compilers Course that I studied in the 3rd year of IIT Bombay, forget about remembering Raoult’s law. At best, I remember the names of these concepts, with possibly spelling mistakes.

What I, however, remember, is the fight that I did during the 2 years of JEE preparation to get a top 50 rank. I used the exact same fight to build Cogno AI to a team of 100+ members, leading to the acquisition by Exotel. I used the exact same fight to compete for the internship during my college days. The mindset that I developed during the JEE preparation days and during the IIT Bombay B. Tech time, is helping me to date and I know, it will help me for decades to come.

My hunger to learn, to earn, and to do something big in life helped me crack JEE with a top 50 rank and the same hunger is helping me build my startup. The same hunger will help me do well at Exotel as well.

At IIT Bombay, I met some of the smartest people, including juniors, batchmates, and seniors. I met people who have done phenomenally well in their respective fields. I met people who switched fields and did even better there. I can say with full confidence that much like me, almost none of them will remember the concepts they learned during the JEE preparation. However, all of them would remember the mindset and skills that they acquired, which are helping them succeed in their lives.

To answer your question - Is it really worth the 2 years of preparation?

Yes. A top rank in JEE leading to a top IIT is worth NOT just 2 years but worth 4 years of preparation. The IITs help you with a bunch of stuff:

1. Mindset and skills that I mentioned above.
2. A stellar group of a successful peer network, that can open a lot of doors.
3. A brand name that helps you distinguish yourself in a large group.

Aman Goel,IITB-CSE

Education is the best hope for the poor to become rich in legal and proper way

 Education is the best hope for the poor to become rich in legal and proper way.

The other ways to become rich is by crime and by business. However,

• There is too much risk while making money by committing crimes like theft, abduction, murder, drug- trafficking etc. You may even lose your life and certainly lose respect of people and spend your life in jail, once you are caught.
• There is also lots of risk if you do business though it is a legal activity. Almost 90% startups fails within 5 years of its incorporation and the investor lose all his money and time in the process. Moreover, you need money to do business, which poor don’t have.

Education is thus the best method to become rich.

It is thanks to education that ‘Govind Jaiswal’, the son of a rickshaw puller became an IAS officer and got rid of poverty.

It is due to education that Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam became a great scientist and the President of India.

There are millions of people who transformed their life due to education to become rich, famous and powerful.

Education is certainly a bridge between the poor and rich.

Benjamin Franklin said this wisely, “An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.“

Dr.Awdhesh Singh Ex-IRS,IITian -  B.Tech,M.Tech,PhD