Without knowing anything how we judge everything and make opinions.

Very small but big thing I realized today when I bought this jumbo size long pen from an old lady who requested me to buy this and I couldn't resist after seeing her requesting face while waiting on signal.

So what this pen made me realize?

2 days back.

I was sitting in my class with my friend when I saw a girl holding the same pen in her hand and as this pen is a little different from other pen because of its size so it caught my attention and I said to my friend.

Hey, Poorvi. Just look at her pen. Is she a kid? Who buys these long pens and brings them in class like a 2nd grade kid.

Poorvi started laughing, so did I.

Poorvi- ajeeb hai yar.. Pta ni kese kese log hote hai. Ab ye itna ajeeb baccho jesa pen lene ki jarurt kya thi..?

(People are weird, what was the need of buying such a kids type pen?

And we started cracking jokes unnecessarily on that pen and obviously on the girl who bought that.

Then today..

When I saw the poor lady with torn clothes under scorching sun going to different people requesting to buy those pens, knocking at windows of cars so she can sell them made me think a lot of things. And she came to me and I bought it and realised that the same pen I saw in class in that girl's hand and I was laughing on her even I was being so judgemental plus pseudo sophisticated that I said that “is this girl idiot or what ?” Although now I know that not that girl was an idiot but I am an idiot who was cracking jokes.

It's not only about pen and that girl. It applies everywhere. We people are very good at judging very quickly. We never even try to know and see the things from other side. From their side. Never.

Without knowing anything how we judge everything and make opinions.

-Aparna Verma

Education Will not Make You a King

2000: School dropout after my 4th class.

Worked in Agriculture field as labour. I still remember, I was paid 20 Rupees per day when I went to pluck the cotton from cotton trees and Corn field work. I Did many other daily wage jobs to support my mom when my dad was not taking care of family.

2003:Re-Joined 7th class as part of Chaduvula Pandaga, a govt scheme by ChandraBabu Naidu, CM of Andhra Pradesh to rejoin the dropout students in schools, with help of my Primary school Head Master and High school head master.

2004: Joined 9th class while staying in Govt hostel with 1 class jump from 7th class.

2005: 10th class student in a Govt school in Rural village in Telangana(It was Andhra Pradesh). School topper with 86%.

2007: Completed my Intermediate (11 & 12) in M.P.C(Maths, Physics and Chemistry) in Telugu Medium with 95%. I was college 2nd with 98% (558/570) in 1st Year of Intermediate from Vijay Junior College, Armoor. I got free education by college management with free hostel on merit basis.

2011: Completed my B.E in Information Technology from Vasavi college of Engineering with 80%, one of the reputed college in Hyderabad and got placed in CTS(Campus placement) with 3L package in Mainframe Technology as fresher working for US health care client project.

I asked my Mom to stop going for labour work and be a home maker.

Was part of few NGOs Cheyutha & BHUMI which works for improving the quality education in Govt school and help underprivileged students.

Put my brother in Corporate college for his Intermediate education and Long-term IIT coaching for 1 year.

2012- promoted from PAT to PA and got hike for 3L to 3.25L

2013-got 2nd bucket and got hike from 3.25L to 3.5L

2014-got 1st bucket and got hike from 3.5L to 3.8L

Was part of Outreach, CSR wing in Cognizant which works for improving the quality education in Govt school and help underprivileged students. Also participanted many plantation drives, blood donation camps. Try to give back to society the possible way.

2015: promoted from PA to Associate in 30 months. And package raised to 5.2L in which 40k is Variable.

2015 March: Worked hard and got 2 offers from well known Banks RBS in Chennai and JMPC in Hyderabad with almost same package(Close to 9L). Joined JPMC as Application Developer in Mainframe Technology.

Put my Sister in Corporate college for her Intermediate Education with 70K per Year fee.

2015 June: Started construction of my House in my Hometown where my parents are living now.

2016: Moved to new Technology while working in Mainframes to ETL after proving my capability to my Manager and leads.

2017: We Bought plot near Shamshabad Airport with Personal Bank loan which we are still paying EMIs

My Brother completed his Engineering and started working as Textile Engineer.

2018: Moved to small company in Pune with almost double package with no Variable pay (18L)

I asked my dad to stop going for Mesthri work as his health is not supporting.

Edit3:I used to work with my father as Mesthri Labour for construction work until I started working in CTS in 2011. Every holiday I get during my studies from schooling to Engineering final year, I worked and made money for my expenses, cloths.

Now I know full Agricultural work, can cultivate any kind of crop, know Mesthri work.. My dad Constructed my house in my Hometown.

Bought my dream Bike Harley-Davidson and started going with HOG(Harley Owners Group) every weekend rides. I believe that we should not just work for fulfilling family needs. We also needs to buy something which we dream about. Many people buy after retirement or late in the age unless they have rich parents or become rich.

2018 Oct: Got offer from Sweden Bank in Sweden. Started working as Mainframe Developer and moved Internally within 2 months as Data Engineer in Data Lake with Big Data Technologies with Good package in Europe market.

My Sister completed her Degree and started working as Jr Nutritionist.

My brother is preparing for Govt exams and doing his M.tech now.

Bought Apartment in Stockholm near to my office.

2019 Oct: Working in my free time and weekends on Swedish Start up as Co-founder and CTO which is not yet launched.

From 2015, I have done 3 Himalayan treks(Har ki Doon, Valley of Flowers, Chopta and few other North side treks, I week trek in North Sweden, 1 week Europe trip with my Partner. I have also gone many travel trips with friends in South and North India, Dubai, Singapore, etc. Still hoping to explore all around the globe.

Some of the travel glimpses

I still support some underprivileged students education with support of my ex colleagues who works in Dreams Alive NGO and students in my village whenever required.

-Nagaraju Erigi,B.Tech(IT)-Vasavi College of Engineering(completed in 2011)

{ Blogger's Note:
 Education Will not Make You a King but by education your poverty can be eliminated. Poverty of money,poverty of comfort,poverty of resources,poverty of knowledge and most importantly, poverty of Mind.

}

How Much Doctors Earn?

Not me, but my sister is a doctor.

Firstly I'll mention her earnings, then what she sacrified to become a doctor.

So, her earnings,

While she was doing her internship (2013–2014), the stipend she used to get was 15,000 INR.

Then, in 2015, she did a contract based job for 6 months and got some 70,000 INR.

And now, in her PG, MD( obstetrics and gynaecology) she's getting 88,000.

What all she sacrificed,

Ummm, not only her, but us, her family too. :)

Well we are a nuclear family of 5. Mom, Dad, Deedo (i love calling her this), Me, Brother. She was born in 1991, me in 1996 and bro came to us in 2001. So, a gap of 5-years in 2 of us lead us in 3 different stages of life always, till date, unless all of us are adults.

So, when i was in 6th standard and bro was in 1st, we had to bid goodbye to our didi to Chandigarh, 190 kms from our town, for her medical entrance exams coaching. You see, how little was he, 6.5 years old! And she was his favorite in house. He used to cry every evening missing her to be home. I used to sit beside her and chatter about my day for a long time and used to go to her taking every little problem, from personal to fights with bro to my homework and drawings, she would do it all. 

And now, i was the elder kid in home. That sucked. I barely used to talk to her on phone, as i just used to sit beside mom and listen to her conversation with Deedo, reason being, she had to study and i was an introvert. She used to visit us every 2.5 months only for 2 days, and used to cry everytime i bid her goodbye and take a promise from her that next time she would come soon. 

But no, to get something we have to lose. Papa Mumma missed her a lot, of course. Papa's favourite child. <3 Haha, and we were always happy with that. :)

Okay, time passed, 2008, with God's grace, she got a great rank in All India Medical test exams for UG, she got MBBS in Bangalore Medical College and Research Institute, Bangalore. This time, 2024 kms away, but we were happy. Didi was going to be a Doctor. She used to visit us after every year for 15 days and we grew up almost without her. She graduated in March,2014, when i passed my 12th and bro was now in 7th standard. You see, he entered in teenage and me in adulthood, almost without her.

Then she started to prepare for her MD entrance exams but luck didn't favour her for the first attempts.

Decided to try again, second time and this time, she did a job for 6 months in Government hospital, 32 sector, Chandigarh to gain some experience, and to freshen up her mind from constant studying. This time,2015, she didn't get a rank of her choice so she decided to try again. Not an easy-peasy task, only medicos know this. Hats off to them!

2016, second attempt, again, she wanted to clear for AIIMS or PGI, Chandigarh or a good government college in All India exam. Her wish, though, was to in AIIMS.

But, 2017, not yet.

3 years of her constant struggle, hard work and we had to be away from her. Why? Because in these 3 years, even when she was in home, no one from us was allowed to go her room. But we were happy, at least she was with us.

I am a naughty kid at home (officially an adult but I'm a kid at home). I just used to open her room steadily, smile like an idiot, say Hi! And come back.

Thank God🙏🏻

2018, she got AIIMS, Delhi, her dream college and now she is in second year MD (obstetrics and gynaecology) working from 7 am in morning till 11 pm or sometimes even late till, 1 or 2 am. 

Holidays? Doctors don't get that. Okay, once per month. Since then 2018 , she has got home twice, once for one day and this time for 2-3 days. But, since Delhi, is an overnight journey, we get to go there sometimes.

Brother is now 18.5 Years old, I'm almost 24, Missing her since 11 years. We love her like anything.

Being doctor ain't easy. Almost every doctor's life is like that.

She used to be little arrogant and stubborn but since she has been doing and completed her MBBS, she's turned into such a humble person that I'm shocked.

I think, if soldiers protect us from border, doctors protect us in the border.

-Rahat Monga

Government Official are lazy,corrupt and inefficient.

Let’s hear the other side of the story. Most of us think that Government Officials are lazy, incompetent, or inefficient. Almost everyone thinks that Government Officials just relax in the office and don’t work without taking bribes from the people. Some of you might think that Government jobs are secure heavens where you can’t lose your jobs even if you are extremely incompetent.

Here is the reality check –

1. Government Officials (especially in Central Government Offices in Delhi) work hard! - Every Government scheme is executed/monitored from Delhi. If your preferred Political Party can boast about its achievements, it is because of us Government employees.

2. The younger generation of government employees prefer working over being lazy. We get bored if we have nothing to do. In fact, most of us enjoy working, however, we don’t want to work for long hours because it doesn’t have any impact on our salaries or promotions. Plus, we don’t have to please our bosses by being a bootlicker or a chamcha as they also don’t affect our salaries or promotions much.

3. We joined Government services because we wanted to have a stable personal life and time for our families and relationships. Who doesn’t? Government jobs start with a good salary but we often earn less than our counterparts in other industries after some years. In some cases, the difference is quite large. However, we are comfortable. Also, most of us are patriots and frown upon people taking bribes.

4. However, the question was about taking away the job security of Government Officials. In my opinion, that would be a huge mistake. One, the job security was given to us as a protection from our Superior Officers. In Government Offices, a subordinate Assistant usually checks the rules and then submits the files. The Superior Officers are free to add remarks to his note or assessment of the situation and offer their own assessment. However, lots of times, the Bosses force Subordinates to submit the initial noting or assessment as per their whims or views which exonerates the Superiors from the allegations of any wrongdoings as they can claim that the Subordinates deliberately tried to misguide them. The job security protects the subordinates from the whims of his Officers and gives him some semblance of power. Secondly, the job security is one of the huge perks of the Government jobs which attracts lots of good talent to the Government jobs. Without this, many good people will opt for something else because of stagnation of salaries. Thirdly, taking away job security will lead to stress which in return will lead to reduced efficiency. In fact, it will lead to many Government employees (honest ones) to look for other sources of income for security.

5. Please don’t assume things about Government servants. I have worked 80 hour weeks, returned home at 3 am, worked more than I used to in a private company and yet, not getting recognized by people outside of Government.

Regards and have a good day everyone!

-Hitender Kumar

Got Low IQ?

High IQ isn’t correlated to success in life…personality traits are.

I’m going to tell you something most people outside of psychology don’t know. That is, that average *is* intelligent….but most people won’t even come close to using the potential they’ve got.

The average person stops learning when people stop teaching. Most don’t seek out information individually, they don’t grow on their own, and they don’t search out expansion.

It isn’t because average people don’t have the capacity for it, it’s because human nature is often to *get by* with the least possible effort.

This is why having an average IQ would never hold you back - but others things certainly will.

• Lack of motivation,
• Lack of resilience/persistence (grit)
• Lack of self-control

These are the things will hold you back.

So while it’s great to have a high IQ or an average IQ…it’s what you do with it that matters. There are people with high IQs who fail high school all the time and never do anything with their life…and there are people with average IQs who end up with an 8–9 figure net worth.

IQ is about your intellectual potential…but it’s up to you how you are going to fulfill that potential…

…and if you’ve got drive? Well, there isn’t a person in the world that can stop you.

IQ tests (and I’ve given hundreds of them), tell us about your potential, and they can be influenced by a *lot* of different things - if you’re bilingual, if you are actively depressed or anxious, etc…to me, they’re just good rule-outs for certain illnesses and disabilities.

I wouldn’t worry *at all* if scoring in the average range…most people have no idea how to use what they’ve got. You can be amazing.

-Julie Gurner

Talent

I have innate talent. There is no such thing as innate skills. Skills are something you acquire through hard work.

Innate talent does not mean anything.

I have a friend who would be good at playing piano IF ONLY she played piano. But my friend barely touches a piano.

There are also plenty of people who graduate Art University but they never pursue art. They just forget about it, or worse, start believing it is worthless. Such people have not understood a thing about life.

In order to be good at art, your innate skills are WORTHLESS unles you show up for work every single day. No excuses, the only valid excuse is if you are dead or you are having surgery. Then, after surgery, go back to work.

Work daily on your skill. Show up. Otherwise, no matter if you are talented or not, you will end up wasting your life.

-Medicine Madison

Woman...........

5 Skills Every Young Woman Should Have

1. Assertiveness. This will involve two primary things…
1. Saying No. You’re going to come across a lot of people who will demand things of you - people in life, business, and dating…learn to say no without hesitation or explaining yourself.
2. Advocating for Your Own Needs. This is the flipside to “no.” You need to not only know how to say no, but ask for what you need. Need some space? To take your vacation days at work? More physical affection from your spouse? Being able to advocate & assert your needs will ensure that more of them get met. Do not grow up to be a woman who suffers in silence or always sacrifices herself to “keep the peace” personally or professionally.
2. Financial Literacy. Know how to plan, avoid debt, manage money, invest, and set yourself up for a good life now and in the future. This starts very young.
3. How to take care of your Mental & Physical Health. You may look & feel okay now when you’re young, but taking care of yourself is important as you age for the best quality of life possible. Getting checkups, getting involved in some type of exercise, and learning how to cope with stress, etc..effectively.
4. How to be Resilient. You’re going to go through rough times, but how you navigate and cope with them will decide the result you get. Having effective ways to cope and a solid mindset will determine a lot of things.
5. Developing Compassion. We are all better people if we can connect with the lives of others who may be different or less fortunate than we are. Volunteer at a senior center, an animal shelter, or find other ways of giving so that you recognize your own good fortune, stay grateful & remain connected to the larger world outside of ourselves.

-Julie Gurner

Want to Improve Yourself?

Cut back on TV time: Binge-watching shows is a big no-no. You cannot gain anything constructive by spending hours watching shows. Your brain enters into passive mode while watching TV so it’s better for your health to keep it active and occupied with productive activities.

 

Ted Talk: Watch a Ted talk daily. There is a lot that you can learn from smart people who have brilliant ideas and discoveries to share. There are talks that range between 5–20 minutes so choose one everyday. By the end of the month, you would have benefited more.

 

Research: Get into the habit of finding out about stuff on your own. Research extensively on the internet about topics that interest you and about how stuff works. You can use Google Scholar for authentic information. Learn something new everyday, dedicate at least 30 mins to it. Also, share your knowledge and teach it to others as you learn more by doing/execution/implementation.

 

Reading: As always mentioned, reading is important and healthy for your aging brain. Whether it is a book, newspaper article or articles online, for instance, Huffington Post, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, Reader’s Digest & Narrative Magazine, Success Magazine, New York Times, Time Magazine, make it a daily habit. Furthermore, look up new words in the dictionary. Download a good dictionary app and it would be less time-consuming to find the meaning of unfamiliar words/expressions. Oprah Winfrey once mentioned that she always preferred reading a book than watching TV.

 

Language: You can use the Duolingo or Babbel apps to get started. It gets you acquainted with different people, cultures and words. It opens your mind to new experiences. It also helps enhance your communication skills.

 

Online Courses: This is another way of learning about topics and developing your skills. You can browse through courses and enroll in one that interests you then move on to the next. Websites such as, Coursera, Alison, MIT open courses & Khan Academy are excellent for this purpose. Apps like Curiosity and Blinkist are also helpful in this regard. Curiosity sends 5 articles daily, related to different subjects. In Blinkist, you get to read a few chapters from a non-fiction book everyday!

 

Documentary: This is another option to replace watching long hours of shows. You can use these websites: Documentary Heaven, Top Documentary Films and National Geographic - Channel Homepage to gain a better understanding of the world.

 

People: Go out, hang out with people. Hang out with those who are smarter. Be open to meeting new people. Get to know others. Every person is coming from a different background, perspective and experiences. You can learn a lot from them.

 

     Reduce social media usage: Just like TV, limit the amount of time using social media. That time    can better be spent watching a Ted talk or reading.

 

Exercise: It can be as simple as taking a walk, helps clear your head and think. It also significantly lowers your chances of degenerative diseases. If done continually, it keeps you in shape, good health and maintains your appearance. Moreover, eat to live, not the other way around!

-Rida Khan

Everyone is Oppurtunist and Manipulator?

One of the interesting things about being a psychotherapist is that I get to hear people talk about the world from their point of view. I have worked with a lot of people who qualify for a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and one of the main things that I have learned is not to make broad sweeping generalizations about them.

So what can I say that is likely to be true about whether people with NPD think everyone is an opportunist or a manipulator?

Not all people with Narcissistic Personality Disorders think everyone is an opportunist or a manipulator.

But…some of them do say that they believe this. What is influencing this subgroup of people with NPD to say and believe this about other people?

• Their Parents’ Value System

Young children are very influenced by how their parents view the world and also by how these parents act towards the children. If the Narcissist’s parents expressed the belief that all people are manipulative and opportunistic, their child is likely to accept this as true. This belief would be greatly enhanced if the parents also acted in a self-centered, manipulative way towards the child.

• Their Own Motives

Some of my Narcissistic clients are extremely opportunistic and manipulative. They rationalize their own behaviors by telling me that everyone is out for themselves, therefore, what they are doing is okay.

• Their Life Experiences

If you hang around with opportunistic and manipulative people, it can be hard to believe that altruism exists.

• Their Ability to Make Nuanced Assessments of Other People

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder do not have “whole object relations.” This means that they cannot see themselves or other people in a stable, realistic, and integrated way. Instead there are only two categories: all good or all bad. They are like people who can recognize the number 1 and the number 10, but are missing the 2 through 9.

This gives them an unrealistic and unnuanced view of other people. They are likely to have difficulty recognizing that just because some people they know are opportunistic and manipulative, other people may not be. Therefore, they are likely to think all people are that way.

Punchline: Not all people with NPD believe that everyone is opportunistic and manipulative—unless they are that way themselves.

-Elinor Greenberg, PhD, CGP

One of the secrets not taught at school is........

One of the secrets not taught at school is that there is an entire field of self-help providing excellent information about improving yourself. Inspired by my Karate Sensei more than 25 years ago, I discovered that not only was martial arts a great way for self improvement physically and mentally, but so was listening to motivational tapes (pod casts) and reading self help books. I learned about the importance of goal setting and not leaving your future to chance. At age 30, I wrote out 100 Life Goals for myself across 10 life categories:

• Personal Development
• Health and Fitness
• Family and Friends
• Hobbies and Passions
• Financial
• Career
• Adventure
• Travel
• Lifestyle
• Leaving a Legacy

More than 25 years later, as an average intelligence person, I am living my an amazing life as a result of focusing on these goals.

This is one of the self-help books which I read which greatly influenced my life more than 20 years ago.

The following is my best advice for improving yourself:

1. Read Books - Don’t be like most people who never read another book after graduating from school. Focus on books that will help you and inspire you to improve yourself (self-help, auto biographies, education, career etc.)
2. Exercise Daily - There is no substitute for exercise and getting into shape. This will impact all areas of your life and give you the energy and vitality to improve yourself further. Keep a journal or spreadsheet and record every consecutive day that you exercise. Once, you start, don’t break the chain. Aerobics and weights are equally important.
3. Be Positive - Having a positive attitude is a must have to become a leader and develop relationships with ambitious people. No-one wants to follow negative people. Find the positive in every situation.
4. Set Goals - Spend time reflecting about what you want to achieve in your life. Think big. Why set small goals? What if you achieve them? Set target goals that are SMART goals and outrageous goals which aren’t. Assume you will achieve your target goals and be inspired by your outrageous goals.
5. Work hard - I told my kids (now adults) to “work hard” instead of “don’t work to hard” which many give as advice. Work harder on your self improvement, than you do at your job. Don’t fall into the trap of too much TV, Netflix, video games etc. This won’t lead you to your best life.
6. Learn personal Finance 101 - There are basic strategies about money that are not typically taught at school, like compounding interest, the rule of 72 and investing a minimum of 10% of your income (20–30% if you really want to be wealthy).
7. Keep a life journal - A life worth living is a life worth recording. Use the journal to record your life and capture your ideas. Don’t rely on your memory.
8. Ask questions - So many of us lose the nerve to ask questions for fear of appearing dumb. Don’t worry about what others think of you. Most people have the same questions but are afraid to ask. This is how you learn. Have the curiosity of a child.
9. Take risk - Most people on their death bed say that they wish they took more risk in their life. You won’t grow or improve yourself unless you are constantly challenging yourself to get out of your comfort zone.
10. Meet people - I once received good advice that you will the same person tomorrow as you are today, except for the books you read and the people you meet. Some of your best life outcomes will come from meeting new people.

The most important thing is that you make improving yourself a life long project. Never assume that you are finished improving!

For more reading about my 100 Life Goals: Create your life goals list before you turn 30!

-Brian Klodt

{Bloggers Note : Use Your own creativity to have some goals in different areas of your life and  be patient }