Instead of changing your attitude about life or reading books, consider spending time to develop better core cognitive skills

 Instead of changing your attitude about life or reading books, consider spending time to develop better core cognitive skills.

Unlike getting tutoring or just studying more, this effort improves the basic mental components that support the overall thinking process. Functions like visual and auditory processing, working and long-term memory, attention & focus, logic & reasoning and processing speed to name a few. A weakness in any single one of those areas can thwart a person's overall ability to learn. When those things get better a person has increased confidence in approaching unfamiliar things, allowing them to make more considered choices in their responses.

For example, often a person who struggles merely has a problem with properly hearing spoken language. Sure they can hear words and know their meanings but if they have a hard time processing the input fast enough they might not be able to recognize and make proper sense of them. One might say it is like not being used to a thick accent. If you can't get the words it doesn't matter how smart you are, you won't have all the data necessary to interpret the situation. Or maybe it's like not knowing enough of the slang or jargon. Incomplete or bad data can leave you confused, especially if you have an inkling you're missing something. Kinda hard to think clearly when that happens.

Anyway, that's just one example. You can imagine other ways thinking becomes difficult, like when you have poor working memory. If you can't keep track of the data you can't make consistently accurate conclusions. Again, you might be aware of that problem and anxiety & self-doubt can build over it thus inhibiting your thought process even more.

All those things I listed above work together to support higher level thinking - and they're applicable on a global level, not just being able to do math problems in your head or make snappy comments in the moment. Getting better input from all your senses gives you much better materials for your brain to work with when thinking about pretty much anything.

Another way to improve your thinking is to change your approach to listening or reading. Listening to understand rather than listening to reply is better in the long run. Geez, that sounds like a cheesy meme but it's true.

-Peter Wick, PhD in Pharmacology

Behaviors that we do repeatedly in childhood to cope with real threats can become liabilities in adulthood

 Behaviors that we do repeatedly in childhood to cope with real threats can become liabilities in adulthood. However, our brain is built in such a way that the most often repeated behaviors become encoded in our brain as habits.

What is a habit?

Habits can be thought of as something we do automatically without much, if any, conscious thought because we have done it repeatedly. For example, bringing a fork filled with food to our mouth is hard when we are two years old, but by adulthood we have done it so many times, we just do it without thought or conscious effort.

What is Neural Darwinism?

Habits are supported by groups of neurons in our brain that become connected and fire together, given a specific triggering stimulus. Gerald Edelman, the Nobel Prize winning neurologist developed the concept of “Neural Darwinism.” In essence, Neural Darwinism states that the most used set of connected neurons that fire together diminish the possibility that other, weaker neuronal networks will respond to the trigger. Eventually, the less used networks degrade, and the most used one “wins” and becomes the automatic default response.

How does this relate to childhood coping mechanisms?

By the time we reach adulthood, our childhood coping mechanisms are deeply entrenched in our brain. Neural Darwinism makes them our automatic responses. To respond differently to triggers, we have to:

• Become aware of our habitual old responses.
• Decide on what would be better to do instead as adults.
• Inhibit the old, no longer adaptive habits.
• Practice the new thoughts and coping mechanisms over and over again until they become the new winner of the Neuronal Darwinian competition.

It is all very logical and doable, if we put in the necessary efforts. That is why I know Personality Disorders can be treated. It is a bit like learning to play a new musical instrument.

The main complications are handling painful emotions from the past and being willing to question our usual reactions. We have to learn not to base our feelings about ourselves on old reactions to us by our parents (who were also working automatically from their neural networks acquired during their lives).

Punchline: Childhood coping mechanisms become ingrained habits that are supported by neural networks in our brain. We cannot simply stop them. We have to develop and practice new and better ways to react as an adult and through repetition build the neural networks to support them.

A2A

Elinor Greenberg, PhD, CGP

In private practice in NYC and the author of the book: Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations.

www.elinorgreenberg.com

Financial Failure ?

Should I be truly an expert at one thing or have competence over many things ?

 One of the common mistakes I see people making in every area of their life is to assume that most things are an “either/or” equation.

But they aren’t.

More often than not, they’re “both/and.”

And to answer your question, the BEST thing you can do with your life is to develop a wide breadth of skills and knowledge (a jack of all trades) AND devote yourself to mastering a single skill or trade.

Or to put it another way, “To build a T Shaped Life”

Let me break this down for you…

Mastery is said to require at least 10,000 hours of disciplined effort.

Which means that you can realistically MASTER one skill every 5 years (assuming that you’re mastering your primary profession and working 8 hours 5 days a week with a few holidays).

So, if you’re 30 right now and you live to be 70, it’s possible for you to become a true master of 5–8 different disciplines throughout your lifetime.

But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

To become “World Class” at something (in the top 5% of the world), you rarely need more than 250–500 hours of practice.

So…

Assuming that you’re only willing to devote only 3 hours a day to secondary skills—whether it’s reading, writing, playing the guitar, doing yoga, or training jujitsu—you can become highly competent at 2–3 MORE skills every year.

In a given decade, you can master two skills and become world class at 20–30 more.

Pretty crazy, right?

The trick is to become more disciplined in the way that you use your time.

Most Americans waste 6+ hours a day on social media, porn, TV, and video games.

And if you’re willing to cut back on these vices and invest those extra hours into more fulfilling pursuits, you can quickly build your own T shaped life where you are a master of 2–3 AND a jack of all trades.

Hope this helps.

Stay Grounded,
Andrew

{Bloggers' Note : By Top 5% Author meant that being in top 5% of total population of the world  in that skill which if you calculate is pretty much accurate. I will even go as far as to say that you can be  in among Top 1% of world population  in many skills but sure enough you will be among top 5% of world population in that skill if you dedicate & practice 250-500 hour. Do Try it, Pick One Skill & Learn & Practice it for 250-500 hours and then see }

Are you like this?

Five years ago, I was a.......

 Five years ago, I was a lazy kid who wasted his time playing video games and watching TV.

I dreamed of success, I dreamed of changing myself, I dreamed of making my parents proud!

One day, instead of dreaming, I began to act. I studied. I practiced. I left home at 8 AM and returned at 10 PM. I got obsessed.

Since then, I have

• 6 International Science Olympiad medals.
• 5 National Basketball Championship gold medals, being a starter.
• been admitted to the University of Cambridge

As I think of the moment when I transformed from the lazy guy to the hard-working one, I recall that I never read an advice from a stranger.

I never read a self-development article. I never asked how to change. Do you know why?

Because you, and I, and every single person on earth, knows what to do.

YOU know what you have to do! I KNOW what I have to do!

GET UP! FIGHT! WORK HARD! CHALLENGE YOURSELF!

Get up from your bed! Pick that toothbrush! Brush your teeth!

All you have to do is that little twist when you tell yourself “no, enough is enough! I WILL CHANGE! I WILL NOT STAY IN THIS PIT!”

It’s not easy. I have been there. Changing habits is difficult. Changing a lifestyle is even harder.

But look yourself in the mirror, ask yourself who do YOU want to be?!

Whatever your answer is, fight for it. Push yourself to do the necessary things.

BE THE DIFFERENCE-MAKER IN YOUR LIFE!

Stop saying “I can’t”. Of course, you can’t when you say it like it.

You can! You can! You can!

Unless you are suffering from depression or other psychological disorders, then you bloody can!

Don’t lie to yourself.

-Ara Mambreyan

If a cab driver makes more money than an IT professional, why should I study?

How to Stop Being Average/Mediocre ?

 The answer to this is known by all, provided you have the courage to ask your inner self.

I am not the best. But I have myself observed in my inexperienced life that the path to being the best or the ‘different’ or the ‘ground-breaker’ lies in the road of ‘averageness’.

You just need to work hard for it. There is no substitute for it. the moment you start working hard, you are on your road to ‘bestness’. the moment you get satisfied and start living like ‘the other guys’, you lose it all. You become one of the many ‘other guys’.

You don’t need to do anything different, just follow what your job is with cent percent sincerity. And give your maximum. You lose the track towards ‘bestness’ the moment you think of relaxing(relaxing here means leaving the work you are doing for some other activity, and not related to sleep or whatever).

See all the distinguished people in the world. They didn’t do anything special. They led a normal life with full devotion, and ended up being special. When I see people who are awesome at Computers, or whatever, they have just been working hard for years.

I, like almost everyone(again, as I said above, everyone knows the answer to the question asked) have seen many ups and downs in my life. After observing myself and many others, I have come to the above realizations. I am fortunate enough to have seen the best and the worst of me at a young age. I have seen how sincerity towards a job can do wonders, even if others have a better affinity towards the job than you, and I have also seen how you can get left behind if you lose the zeal.

I am yet to discover what the ‘best’ is, but I am sure it hasn’t come yet. I am young and inexperienced. But I know somewhere inside that the road to ‘bestness’ passes through towns called determination, hard work, and focus.

 

-Kalpit Veerwal, 360/360 in JEE Mains - AIR 1

I am a high achiever

 

I am a high achiever. Since early age, I have been ambitious and over the years I have developed a mindset that feeds my big appetite. Some people think that I am just a rat in a rat race. But, believe me, I know too well that life is not about ambition. To me, goals and achievements are like a video game levels which I pass and move on to the next ones.

That being said here are 7 THINGS THAT I LIVE BY TO REACH MY GOALS (when and if I have any):

N1) PUT WORK

No secret here. No bullshit. If you want to succeed you have to put work. Anyone who says otherwise is either a liar or won the lottery.

So unless you are one lucky fella, you have to put sweats and tears into your goals. That’s the only way you can truly succeed.

N2) I NEED PLANS

If I don’t know what I am going to do after 30 minutes, then my day is a waste. I need a strict plan which I have to follow. It makes things so much easier and I do not waste time on “imagining” how my day will turn out.

Instead, each night I put on a schedule for the following day. That way, I know what I am going to do and I do not waste time throughout the day.

N3) GOODBYE SOCIAL LIFE

People ask me how did I manage to achieve success while also being social. The sad truth is I didn’t. Social interactions absorb my mental energy.

When I am having an argument with my friend, and after an hour I sit down to work, I can’t be productive. All I do is analyze what my friend said, why he said it or how I should have reacted. I can’t do that if I want to concentrate on building skills.

Yes, sometimes I invest time in friends and people from whom I can learn. Sometimes I hang out with old friends whom I missed or with my family. But my time is usually limited and I generally don’t hang out frequently.

N4) SACRIFICE SHORT-TERM DELIGHT

In 10th grade, I had the opportunity to study astronomy and possibly participate in International Olympiads. However, I did not study for them as I believed that it was better to concentrate on some theoretical components before rushing into problem-solving.

People thought I was making a mistake, including my mum, teachers and friends. I did not participate in any International Olympiad in 10th grade.

The next year? 4 International Science Olympiad medals in a single year.

This brings me to my next point.

N5) OTHERS DON’T KNOW YOU

Hello others, I am Ara Mambreyan and you have no idea what goes inside my head.

In 9th grade, I heard how one of my teachers said that I wouldn’t succeed in science; 6 International Science Olympiad medals since then. “The dumbest person in that basketball team”; 5 National Basketball Championship gold medals while being a starter. “I don’t think writing is yours”… decent writing skills now (or so I would like to believe).

People don’t know you. Yes, it’s important to hear every advice and weigh each opinion. But it all comes down what works for YOU!

N6) FORGET PRIDE

My teacher says that I am dumb. Who cares?

If he thinks so, it’s because I left such an impression. It’s not personal. It’s either my idiosyncrasy or his. Either way, you do not have to lose the opportunities someone provides — be it partnership, knowledge or advice — just because they don’t like you.

Pride is not a good nothing. Yes, it’s important to know your worth. But people are… well, people and you have to understand everyone.

There is nothing personal…

N7) OH, BUT TAKE IT PERSONALLY

The only way you can succeed is if you really, really, want something. Motivation is like the fuel that you have to drive the road of success. If you don’t have it, you better settle.

But to have motivation, you have to take things personally. You have to want to prove the world your worth, prove that people were wrong about you, prove that you are great…

Take it personally…

-Ara Mambreyan

It is easy to succeed...

I am in my late 20s and realized that I wasted a lot of time

 Two kinds of people would be reading this answer:

1. Who want sympathy and assurance that you still got time left.
2. People who genuinely believe they have wasted their time and want to make a genuine effort to achieve something.

If you are the 1st person then I’m sorry, this answer is not for you.

If you belong to the 2nd group then this answer might help you.

Lets go by facts and logic rather than blindly saying “ohh, you have a lot of time still left”.

No matter if you are in your 20s, 30s or 40s. If you feel like you have wasted past X years of your life means it’s a fact and cannot be changed.

The good thing though is that you have a realisation of the time you have wasted, unlike other people who are still delusional.

The very first thing you would need to do is to accept the fact and later analyse the cause of why exactly have you wasted X precious years of your life.

1. Analyse what went wrong:

Were you lazy? or were you engaged in some activities which consumed your time?

What exactly was the thing which made you waste your time.

Were you spending all your time on social media or were you in a relationship which took all the time away from you.

Once you are done finding the culprit, half your job is done.

2. Find a way to fix it:

Once you know what’s holding you back, you need a way to fix it.

If you feel you waste time because you are glued to phone all day, you cannot simply change that by saying “ohh, from tomorrow I will spend less time on my phone”.

We all know that never works, there needs to be some serious action taken against the thing which is wasting your time.

Like switching off your phone or using a dumb phone instead of a smartphone.

Extreme times call for extreme measures.

If there is something which has wasted years of your life then you won’t get rid of it unless you take extreme measures.

3. Keep track of your time:

Get a wrist watch and a journal, track your activity by every hour.

Note everything you have done in your journal by every hour.

I know it sounds silly but you won't be able to tell if you have improved unless you have some metrics to measure your performance.

Review your time journal at the end of the day to see how you did.

Once you do it for about a week you will realise how well you did and it will give you a sense of satisfaction and you will feel in control of your time.

4. Achievement comes from efforts:

People tell me, I’ve invested X months on gaining a skill or X years working on my business yet I am not successful.

The reality of the situation is they are tracking the wrong metric, what really counts are the efforts.

You can achieve more than other people in the same about or even less time by putting in more effort.

To sum it up:

Realise, analyse, fix, track and put in the effort and you should be good.

Hope this helps.

  -Saurav Sharma

It is easy to succeed