Emotionally Exhausted & Physically Tired Because of That?

A codependent dynamic is, by definition, a system where I give more than I have.

I constantly ignore or neglect my own limits and my own needs in a search for approval or love, hyper-focused on how the other is reacting to the point of obsession.

I eventually lose the ability to determine or articulate what I think or how I feel.

I measure my own worth through how others define me, which means I spend a lot of energy managing things I can’t control, such as what other people think of me.

I experience high levels of stress, as “ordinary statements” such as “I will see you tomorrow!” make me feel I’m being abandoned in a remote location forever.

I feel uneasy alone, which means I cancel out my own ability to recharge.

Of course I invariably end up exhausted.

The antidote - the cure - is not a quick fix. It’s a new way of life.

It’s setting boundaries. Learning to say no, despite the fear and discomfort.

It’s learning how to be alone even if in the beginning it feels painful, since this is when I can listen and put into words my needs, my thoughts, my inner voice.

It’s following through on what I say I am going to do, which involves discipline and healthy habits. This way I show myself I can trust me.

It means placing more weight on what I think of me, instead of what others think of me.

It takes practice, and coming back to it again and again.

This is the only way I know to un-exhaust myself.

 -Dushka Zapata