Woman...........

5 Skills Every Young Woman Should Have

1. Assertiveness. This will involve two primary things…
1. Saying No. You’re going to come across a lot of people who will demand things of you - people in life, business, and dating…learn to say no without hesitation or explaining yourself.
2. Advocating for Your Own Needs. This is the flipside to “no.” You need to not only know how to say no, but ask for what you need. Need some space? To take your vacation days at work? More physical affection from your spouse? Being able to advocate & assert your needs will ensure that more of them get met. Do not grow up to be a woman who suffers in silence or always sacrifices herself to “keep the peace” personally or professionally.
2. Financial Literacy. Know how to plan, avoid debt, manage money, invest, and set yourself up for a good life now and in the future. This starts very young.
3. How to take care of your Mental & Physical Health. You may look & feel okay now when you’re young, but taking care of yourself is important as you age for the best quality of life possible. Getting checkups, getting involved in some type of exercise, and learning how to cope with stress, etc..effectively.
4. How to be Resilient. You’re going to go through rough times, but how you navigate and cope with them will decide the result you get. Having effective ways to cope and a solid mindset will determine a lot of things.
5. Developing Compassion. We are all better people if we can connect with the lives of others who may be different or less fortunate than we are. Volunteer at a senior center, an animal shelter, or find other ways of giving so that you recognize your own good fortune, stay grateful & remain connected to the larger world outside of ourselves.

-Julie Gurner

Want to Improve Yourself?

Cut back on TV time: Binge-watching shows is a big no-no. You cannot gain anything constructive by spending hours watching shows. Your brain enters into passive mode while watching TV so it’s better for your health to keep it active and occupied with productive activities.

 

Ted Talk: Watch a Ted talk daily. There is a lot that you can learn from smart people who have brilliant ideas and discoveries to share. There are talks that range between 5–20 minutes so choose one everyday. By the end of the month, you would have benefited more.

 

Research: Get into the habit of finding out about stuff on your own. Research extensively on the internet about topics that interest you and about how stuff works. You can use Google Scholar for authentic information. Learn something new everyday, dedicate at least 30 mins to it. Also, share your knowledge and teach it to others as you learn more by doing/execution/implementation.

 

Reading: As always mentioned, reading is important and healthy for your aging brain. Whether it is a book, newspaper article or articles online, for instance, Huffington Post, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, Reader’s Digest & Narrative Magazine, Success Magazine, New York Times, Time Magazine, make it a daily habit. Furthermore, look up new words in the dictionary. Download a good dictionary app and it would be less time-consuming to find the meaning of unfamiliar words/expressions. Oprah Winfrey once mentioned that she always preferred reading a book than watching TV.

 

Language: You can use the Duolingo or Babbel apps to get started. It gets you acquainted with different people, cultures and words. It opens your mind to new experiences. It also helps enhance your communication skills.

 

Online Courses: This is another way of learning about topics and developing your skills. You can browse through courses and enroll in one that interests you then move on to the next. Websites such as, Coursera, Alison, MIT open courses & Khan Academy are excellent for this purpose. Apps like Curiosity and Blinkist are also helpful in this regard. Curiosity sends 5 articles daily, related to different subjects. In Blinkist, you get to read a few chapters from a non-fiction book everyday!

 

Documentary: This is another option to replace watching long hours of shows. You can use these websites: Documentary Heaven, Top Documentary Films and National Geographic - Channel Homepage to gain a better understanding of the world.

 

People: Go out, hang out with people. Hang out with those who are smarter. Be open to meeting new people. Get to know others. Every person is coming from a different background, perspective and experiences. You can learn a lot from them.

 

     Reduce social media usage: Just like TV, limit the amount of time using social media. That time    can better be spent watching a Ted talk or reading.

 

Exercise: It can be as simple as taking a walk, helps clear your head and think. It also significantly lowers your chances of degenerative diseases. If done continually, it keeps you in shape, good health and maintains your appearance. Moreover, eat to live, not the other way around!

-Rida Khan

Everyone is Oppurtunist and Manipulator?

One of the interesting things about being a psychotherapist is that I get to hear people talk about the world from their point of view. I have worked with a lot of people who qualify for a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and one of the main things that I have learned is not to make broad sweeping generalizations about them.

So what can I say that is likely to be true about whether people with NPD think everyone is an opportunist or a manipulator?

Not all people with Narcissistic Personality Disorders think everyone is an opportunist or a manipulator.

But…some of them do say that they believe this. What is influencing this subgroup of people with NPD to say and believe this about other people?

• Their Parents’ Value System

Young children are very influenced by how their parents view the world and also by how these parents act towards the children. If the Narcissist’s parents expressed the belief that all people are manipulative and opportunistic, their child is likely to accept this as true. This belief would be greatly enhanced if the parents also acted in a self-centered, manipulative way towards the child.

• Their Own Motives

Some of my Narcissistic clients are extremely opportunistic and manipulative. They rationalize their own behaviors by telling me that everyone is out for themselves, therefore, what they are doing is okay.

• Their Life Experiences

If you hang around with opportunistic and manipulative people, it can be hard to believe that altruism exists.

• Their Ability to Make Nuanced Assessments of Other People

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder do not have “whole object relations.” This means that they cannot see themselves or other people in a stable, realistic, and integrated way. Instead there are only two categories: all good or all bad. They are like people who can recognize the number 1 and the number 10, but are missing the 2 through 9.

This gives them an unrealistic and unnuanced view of other people. They are likely to have difficulty recognizing that just because some people they know are opportunistic and manipulative, other people may not be. Therefore, they are likely to think all people are that way.

Punchline: Not all people with NPD believe that everyone is opportunistic and manipulative—unless they are that way themselves.

-Elinor Greenberg, PhD, CGP

One of the secrets not taught at school is........

One of the secrets not taught at school is that there is an entire field of self-help providing excellent information about improving yourself. Inspired by my Karate Sensei more than 25 years ago, I discovered that not only was martial arts a great way for self improvement physically and mentally, but so was listening to motivational tapes (pod casts) and reading self help books. I learned about the importance of goal setting and not leaving your future to chance. At age 30, I wrote out 100 Life Goals for myself across 10 life categories:

• Personal Development
• Health and Fitness
• Family and Friends
• Hobbies and Passions
• Financial
• Career
• Adventure
• Travel
• Lifestyle
• Leaving a Legacy

More than 25 years later, as an average intelligence person, I am living my an amazing life as a result of focusing on these goals.

This is one of the self-help books which I read which greatly influenced my life more than 20 years ago.

The following is my best advice for improving yourself:

1. Read Books - Don’t be like most people who never read another book after graduating from school. Focus on books that will help you and inspire you to improve yourself (self-help, auto biographies, education, career etc.)
2. Exercise Daily - There is no substitute for exercise and getting into shape. This will impact all areas of your life and give you the energy and vitality to improve yourself further. Keep a journal or spreadsheet and record every consecutive day that you exercise. Once, you start, don’t break the chain. Aerobics and weights are equally important.
3. Be Positive - Having a positive attitude is a must have to become a leader and develop relationships with ambitious people. No-one wants to follow negative people. Find the positive in every situation.
4. Set Goals - Spend time reflecting about what you want to achieve in your life. Think big. Why set small goals? What if you achieve them? Set target goals that are SMART goals and outrageous goals which aren’t. Assume you will achieve your target goals and be inspired by your outrageous goals.
5. Work hard - I told my kids (now adults) to “work hard” instead of “don’t work to hard” which many give as advice. Work harder on your self improvement, than you do at your job. Don’t fall into the trap of too much TV, Netflix, video games etc. This won’t lead you to your best life.
6. Learn personal Finance 101 - There are basic strategies about money that are not typically taught at school, like compounding interest, the rule of 72 and investing a minimum of 10% of your income (20–30% if you really want to be wealthy).
7. Keep a life journal - A life worth living is a life worth recording. Use the journal to record your life and capture your ideas. Don’t rely on your memory.
8. Ask questions - So many of us lose the nerve to ask questions for fear of appearing dumb. Don’t worry about what others think of you. Most people have the same questions but are afraid to ask. This is how you learn. Have the curiosity of a child.
9. Take risk - Most people on their death bed say that they wish they took more risk in their life. You won’t grow or improve yourself unless you are constantly challenging yourself to get out of your comfort zone.
10. Meet people - I once received good advice that you will the same person tomorrow as you are today, except for the books you read and the people you meet. Some of your best life outcomes will come from meeting new people.

The most important thing is that you make improving yourself a life long project. Never assume that you are finished improving!

For more reading about my 100 Life Goals: Create your life goals list before you turn 30!

-Brian Klodt

{Bloggers Note : Use Your own creativity to have some goals in different areas of your life and  be patient }

Failure after giving your 100% or not trying.....

How many times did you fall on your butt before you could even take a step?

How many times did you try to make a sound before you could even say a word?

And how many times did you fail at something before you learned to love it as much as you do today?

If you had never tried you would be crawling everywhere you went, unable speak, write, or read.

But I get it. Failing sucks.

Falling on our butts hurt. Speaking in random sounds was frustrating when no one could understand us. And having to stand up time and time again was just exhausting.

But in the end we learned to walk and run, we learned to form whole sentences and even gave speeches, and we found out what we liked and did not like in life.

All of this has only happened because we gave it a shot.

And, the thing is, you could even fail when you never try.

“You can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.” - Jim Carrey

-Lukas Schwekendiek

No Resources to Learn?

One day recently, I was wistfully thinking about how great it would be to do a Ph.D. in computer science. But then I wondered - unless I wanted to get into hardcore research, which I don't, why couldn't I learn things on my own?

In fact, I recently started learning a few skills online and I am having the time of my life doing that. The kind of learning material and content available is unbelievable, and most of it is free or very affordable. And the irony is that we take it for granted.

Just before I graduated from Wharton in 2007, I ganged up with a few 1st and 2nd-year students so that we could 'clandestinely' share some of the study material from Wharton courses via an email list. Today most of that material is available online free, and we don't even bat an eyelid.

Campus learning is a fun experience. No doubt about it. But if our goal is just to learn, the online resources available are so good that we are living in veritable heaven.

Finally, we have run out of excuses for being ignorant. If we still don't learn things, it is totally on us. Staying dumb is a choice.

  

-Rajan Singh,B.Tech-IITK,MBA-Wharton

Inspiring

Been born deaf since birth, everyone was really skeptical towards me, yet

I graduated with a Masters in Computer Science in USA recently and it is unforgettable moment. 

My college not only gave me knowledge but also access services that treats me equally with hearing peers. 

I also am glad to make friends especially deaf that help me gain confidence and be proud of my own identity.

Lastly, I can’t wait to get started as a Machine Learning Engineer at fashion industry next year and its position is luckily to align with my passion.

That is happiest moment of my life ! Hard Work pays off.

-P Priyanka

I am glad I did these.....

1. Took calculated risk in career when life was comfortable and it paid off
2. Spent time on making few good friends instead of making hundreds casual friends.
3. After leaving home always tried my best to spend time with my family. Planning to visit my home and parents each month next.
4. Invested more money on personal growth like learning new things, traveling then saving on mutual funds.
5. Planted guava and mango trees in our backyard. It makes you grateful to our ancestors who have planted so many trees of whose fruits we are relishing.
6. Hitchhiking (traveling by using minimum expense). Making friends in a new place and staying with them. Asking for lift and traveling. The best trip was from Mathura to Agra through a horse cart.
7. Tried my best to stick to the values and character taught by my parents. Often it has saved me in tricky situations.
8. Traveling with my mom each time on Mother's Day.
9. Guided four young village boys to become entrepreneurs by setting Medium scale dairy Farms.
10. Reading the book The journey Home: it opened up various dimensions in my life : spirituality, traveling

-Abinash Mishra

One aspect of being Rich that Poor People are Oblivious to....

The power of the growth mindset and proven wealth creation strategies.

Most poor people assume that rich people “got lucky”.

They assume that they were born into wealth or had a “million-dollar idea” or somehow had some sort of advantage that they didn’t.

Sometimes, this is true.

Generational wealth is a real thing…

…But most millionaires (88%) did not inherit their money, they were self-made [source].

The simple truth is that most poor people don’t want to accept that getting rich is a decision.

(Unless you happen to be born somewhere without internet access or under an oppressive dictatorial regime).

Becoming rich requires a lot of things…

 

Hard work

Leadership

Self-improvement

A wide array of skills

…But everything that is required to become wealthy can be learned and developed.

And THIS is what most poor people miss.

I don’t care where you’re from, what color your skin is, what genitalia you were born with, or what your sexual preference is.

You CAN become rich….if you develop a growth mindset and follow a proven wealth-building strategy.

The growth mindset is simply the idea that the brain is malleable. That you can learn anything, change your brain, and step into new patterns of thought and behavior.

You can LEARN the skills required to become wealthy and you can learn how to become the type of person who attracts wealth into their life.

Without this belief, you’re screwed before you even begin.

However, if you believe that you can become wealthy…

If you believe that you have what it takes to learn a marketable skill, build a successful business, and manage your money effectively, you’ve already taken your first step to riches.

    -Andrew Ferebee

1. No Excuses: Be smart enough to understand we make excuses to keep ourselves safe in our comfort zone. Break free.
2. Invest your time wisely: Life is too short. Don’t take it for granted. Wasting time is worse than wasting money.
3. Travel more: Explore the world. Travel makes one modest. You see what a tiny place you occupy in the world.
4. Work on yourself: Focus on who you are becoming rather on what you are getting. Changing yourself is permanent.
5. Learn to say No: Say no to the demands of the world. Make yourself happy first and then think of making other people happy.
6. Your body is your greatest asset: A fit, healthy body is the best fashion statement.
7. Take charge of your life: You just can't let life happen to you, you have to make life happen. Don’t let others influence your life, always think your own thoughts.
8. Be self-aware. Self-awareness is key to self-mastery. It gives you the ability to break free from your patterns and grow. Look within.
9. Dare to dream big: Don’t be caged by the idea of mediocrity. Be willing to ask and work for what you really want.

-Rafael Eliassen

Passion or Profession

Passion, I believe, is a very strong and often misused word. Passion, by its very definition, is a powerful and uncontrollable emotion towards an activity. When you are passionate about something, you can go to extreme ends to pursue that activity. When you have a passion, you would spend your time doing that activity even without any goal in mind.

I like my profession. It keeps me on my toes and helps me keep challenging myself. But do I have a strong and uncontrollable emotion towards my profession? Would I go to the extreme ends just to consult more? Would I spend insane hours consulting every week even if there is no monetary incentive for me? I don’t think so.

Passion is close to madness. When you are passionate about an activity, you would look forward to that activity and keep thinking about that activity all the time.

While I consider my career as my top priority, calling my profession my passion would be doing injustice to the word. If there is anything even close to passion that I have experienced in my life so far, it is dancing. Dancing is the only activity I look forward to all the time, even without any goal in mind. I live through the week because I look forward to dancing over the weekend.

You do not always need to be passionate about your profession to perform well in your career. You can have a passion outside your profession as well, that rejuvenates you every now and then and helps you perform better in your profession.

 

-Rohan Jain

Why many Indians Want Government Job still in this Era?

Why most Indians are so much interested in investing in ‘Fixed Deposits’ which barely offer them interest rates to cover inflation, rather than investing in share market or mutual funds where they may double their money in short time?

The reasons is simple.

Indians trust banks to pay back their principle amount with interest while other investments don’t assure even the return of the principle.

Indians were highly excited after the Liberalization and Privatizations that started in 1991. They used to invest in Initial Public Offers (IPOs) and Mutual Funds in a big way. However, they got cheated of their money when these companies defrauded them. So many Indians have burned their fingers in stock market that they prefer to play safe and keep their money in banks.

Indians also tried investing in housing sectors and today millions of people have lost even their original wealth in the incomplete projects after a decade.

Most Indians have little faith in private sector companies. They know that these companies exploit them to the hilt and then throw them away when they get a better and cheaper candidate for the job.

Many private companies have closed in recent years making lakhs of employees unemployed.

Even in the recent slowdown of economy, over 350,000 workers lost their jobs in auto-sector alone since April 2019 itself.

Would you like to work for an organisation where you are not sure if you would be there next month?

However, unlike the private sectors, the jobs in government is secure.

Private sectors may close or run away, but the government is there to stay.

Once you are appointed in a government jobs, you are employed till your retirement unless you choose to quit or you are dismissed due to corruption.

You also have to work much lesser and often your salaries are much better than private sectors. For example, my official driver with 30 years of seniority used to draw more than ₹50,000 salary with all government benefits, while no one would pay even ₹15,000 salary to a private driver.

Hence, it is not surprising that most Indians still clamor for government jobs.

-Awdhesh Singh

No one cares about my Happiness And I Always Sacrifice my wants and needs................

Life is hard. Really hard. Finding my way takes grit and mostly means two things:

Making a distinction between what works for “everyone” and what works for me.

Finding the presence of mind to disappoint others in the name of standing up for myself.

People pleasing is disguised as generosity but really it’s avoidance. It’s constant, relentless escape from doing the hard work of not compromising myself.

The price is to not clearly understand who I am, to let people walk all over me, to feel full of bitterness and resentment and to wonder why I feel I am in the wrong life.

I am in the wrong life because if I people please I don’t understand how to set boundaries and constantly allow others to make decisions for me.

Love yourself. Love yourself enough to know you are worth not betraying yourself in the name of getting others to approve of you.

-Dushka Zapata

1. Stopping trying to make things easier. Use discomfort as a compass. See number 2.
2. Doing really hard things. I ran 50km in April. Now walking to the bus is easier.
3. Letting go trying to control things. Your organs run without a single thought being devoted to them. Rather than overthinking everything, pretend it’s like your heartbeat and let it happen.
4. Cutting out negative crap. Negative food, negative people, negative news sources (all of the news). All cut.
5. Talking to myself. I write 750 words per day no questions asked. Even if I don’t want to. Most of it is talking to myself. I’m now my own best friend.
6. Less decisions. Ever been to an ice cream shop and struggled to make a choice? That used to be me. Now the first flavour that comes into my mind is getting devoured. I also threw out my closet and bought 3 plain shirts. No one ever says anything.
7. Sleeping more. No alarms. Earlier bedtimes. More naps. It’s a superpower. My awake time is 40x better when I’ve slept well.
8. Loving myself. Another superpower. We’re too hard on ourselves. Now I remind myself each day I love myself. Bad day? Look in the mirror. Into your own eyes. Tell that pretty face how much you love you.
9. Creating. Creation is setting the ideas in your mind free. Trade a portion of your consumption time for creating and you’ll start to see the world differently. Everything is inspiration.
10. Realising no one really cares. Go for a drive. Go for a walk. You see the old lady carrying her groceries? She lives a life as beautiful and as complicated as yours. Do you think she cares what you’re going to do tomorrow? Go and do your thing. No one will care as much as you. So you better make it damn good. Impress yourself for the sake of it.

Damn I love writing. I’m charged up. Be careful with number 9, especially before bed.

Time for me to follow my own advice. Number 7 here I come baby!

Zzz

-Daniel Bourke

Visualize this

Dear children,

Visualize this - you have grown up and want to buy a car. Which one will you buy?

There are many choices: Tata Nano, Alto, Honda City, Mercedez, etc.

Why doesn’t everyone buy a Mercedez? Because you have to pay a huge price for it.

But is that also not true for our life-dreams? We can have a small dream (e.g., become a clerk) or a big one (e.g., be the next Sundar Pichai - the Google CEO).

You can choose any dream you want - provided you can pay the price with your hard work.

When you are studying late at night and solving problems, you may feel exhausted. In those moments, tell yourself that you are paying the price for your ‘Mercedez dream’.

When you choose not to play video games or watch TV, and instead study or play outdoors, you are making your dream a reality, bit by bit.

Dream big. Pay the price today. Your car is getting ready to be delivered.

-Rajan Singh,IItian,Ex-IPS

---

Clarification: ‘Mercedez dream’ is an analogy for your ‘no-compromise’ big life-dreams, whatever they might be. I am obviously not talking about an actual Mercedez car or even materialistic possessions.

What you choose as your life-dream, that is up to you.

No one believes in me.....

The lecturer threw away my register and said: 'Don’t come to me for extra classes, when you fail in final exams. Look at these guys, they are students, I can give in writing they will get a distinction in this subject, shame on you people'

I replied: 'Ma’am, kindly don't compare with me with anyone else, their marks are not my business'

She said: 'Get out'

I walked away, smiling at my friends, like a celebrity.

---

The subject was genuinely tough and I couldn't get hold of it by them.

That lecturers words didn't hurt me, her words were only a symbol of her immaturity and judgmental attitude.

What did I do?

Nothing, I ignored that conversation, though didn't forget it. Also I studied the subject thoroughly, not one or two times but 5 times. Not to prove anything, but to clear the paper and to understand the subject in depth.

I scored one of the highest marks in that subject, but I didn't go to the lecturer to show her down, because she was irrelevant to me, giving her importance would mean that I would was a bigger fool than her.

---

A year later, the same lecturer came to me (didn't call me) and requested me to select a group of students from our class to give interview in her husband's company, including those students whom she judged to be intelligent earlier, her husband was a senior Director there.

All this because I was the first to be placed, scored good marks, and was heading the placement committee as well.

It was then that I realise that people can easily lose and gain back hope in you, their views are not fixed.

---

I will give just one tip-

When people lose hope in you, it's their problem, and their way of thinking and analysing things.

Never give them over-importance.

-Anubhav Jain

This Type of People will not Succeed in Life. Are You One of These?

Once upon a time a daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable and that she didn’t know how she was going to make it.

She was tired of fighting and struggling all the time. It seemed just as one problem was solved, another one soon followed.

Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire.

Once the three pots began to boil, he placed potatoes in one pot, eggs in the second pot and ground coffee beans in the third pot. He then let them sit and boil, without saying a word to his daughter.

The daughter, moaned and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing. After twenty minutes he turned off the burners.

He took the potatoes out of the pot and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. He then ladled the coffee out and placed it in a cup.

Turning to her, he asked. “Daughter, what do you see?”

“Potatoes, eggs and coffee,” she hastily replied.

“Look closer” he said, “and touch the potatoes.” She did and noted that they were soft.

He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. Its rich aroma brought a smile to her face.

“Father, what does this mean?” she asked.

He then explained that the potatoes, the eggs and coffee beans had each faced the same adversity-the boiling water. However, each one reacted differently. The potato went in strong, hard and unrelenting, but in boiling water, it became soft and weak.

The egg was fragile, with the thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior until it was put in the boiling water. Then the inside of the egg became hard.

However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were exposed to the boiling water, they changed the water and created something new.

“Which one are you?” he asked his daughter.

“When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a potato, an egg, or a coffee bean?”

---

What kind of people will not succeed in life?

People who blame the everyone and everything for their situation. They blame the government, the technology, the weather, their family, the politicians, they blame their boss, their college, their teachers. They blame everyone and everything.

In life, things happen around us, things happen to us, but the only thing that truly matters is how you choose to react to it and what you make out of it. Life is all about leaning, adopting and converting all the struggles that we experience into something positive.

-Seth Oteng