Be nice to people

Be nice to people. Make connections with people genuinely. Work hard and smart. Be sincere in whatever you do. Put time and energy into the life you want to create. If you are wasting your time on playing video games, don't expect to make billion dollars the next month. Anything worth pursuing in life requires work and perseverance. Don't give up easily.

-Sowmya Sridharan

Think through your relationship even if you are head over heels in love. Talk about everything. Expect hiccups in the relationship. Learn coping strategies to deal with problems together. Talk to people who have had failed relationships and successful ones. Success is not a secret. It leaves behind clues. Learn each others flaws and talk about how to accept each other as they are. Don't go into a relationship thinking the other person will change or you will change them. Expect that they will change invariably though on their own terms. Be ready for that change. Talk about your philosophy, your expectations, goals, financial values. Explore together, have fun together. See if you are compatible, not perfect.

-Sowmya Sridharan

Save up. Don't spend everything you make on things that you probably don't need.
If you want to buy something, wait for a few days before buying it. Many times you won't want it after a few days.

-Sowmya Sridharan

Have fun. Create memories.
Take tons of photos that you will relish when you are 50, not cringe.
Don't share your entire life on social media.
Everything you post online will most likely be there forever for anyone to see.
Be wise.

- Sowmya Sridharan

If you are investing in your education, make the most of it and learn. Don't waste your years drinking, doing drugs and partying.
I have never seen anyone who doesn't regret that.

- Sowmya Sridharan

 "You don't marry a man, you marry a lifestyle."

Who you marry has the largest impact not just on your emotional life, but also on your lifestyle.

Both the large and small things in your daily life and long term plans will be impacted by your significant other's likes, dislikes, habits, schedule, health, personality, moods, job stresses, financial security, family, and situation.

For instance, where will you live, and how clean will the house be? Who will be expected to clean up when it gets messy? What type of food will you eat, and who will cook it? How often will you go on vacations, and where will you go? What TV shows and movies will you watch, and how often? When the toothpaste or toilet paper runs out will your partner get more or expect you to run the errands?

How much sleep will you get? How many cars will you have, and will you lease or buy? Will you be in debt or have a large savings? How many children will you have and how will they be raised?

This decision on your lifestyle is only compounded once you have children. Will your partner chose to share in the child rearing, and what type of parent will they be? And expect you to be? Will your partner want you to stay home with the kids or work? Or let you make the decision? Will they expect you to make all the money or will they also share in the finances?

The only thing that changes your life, and your lifestyle more than your choice of life partner — is your choice to start a family with that partner.

Cornell University published a study with similar findings, and found that the most important elements of a successful marriage includes this knowledge of your partner and yourself:

Understanding what lies ahead for you and your partner is vital to charting a successful life together…But one of the most important types of knowledge, according to the survey, is an intimate understanding of the person you’ll be marrying. How they think, what they love and what they want from life can all be make-or-break issues for compatibility. That’s why it’s so important to know exactly who you’re marrying.

“Their strongest recommendation is to marry someone who is generally similar to you,” they explained elsewhere. “Marriage is difficult for anyone, but it’s much easier with someone who shares your interests, background and orientation.”

Ultimately, your partner’s values and expectations, both for themselves and for you, will make a bigger difference on your life and lifestyle than any other choice you make. Trust your gut, and marry someone who makes you feel better, and brings out the best in you. Choose someone who you enjoy being around, and who makes you a better person

This might hurt, but it's better that you know.

No one has the answers to your pressing life questions.

No one can help you.

No one has the fix you need.

No one will come save you.

And if someone does, and tells you things that sound like answers, they will lead you down the wrong path, not because they have any ill intent, but because they are not you.

When it comes to figuring out who you are and where you want to go, you're on your own.

If "on your own" sounds sad to you, one day it won't be.

You will soon come to see that it in fact means your life is in the very best hands.

-Dushka Zapata

Please hear me out on this. This is so important

I don’t see myself getting married anytime soon (if ever.) But I’ve experienced this first hand.

If you are a woman who is married, about to get married, or even dreams of getting married, please make sure you have an education or a means to make money.

I understand if you want to be a stay-at-home mom or not be the main source of income. Feminism is about giving you that choice, and if it’s what you truly want, have at it.

But please for the sake of your future-have a side business, or an education, or some form of a career you can jump into if need be.

So many marriages start out great and progress into something completely different.

Maybe the man you wouldn’t dream could hurt a fly has no trouble taking his anger out on you.

Maybe he cheats on you.

Or maybe after 20 years you two have grown so far apart you no longer see a future together.

This is where your education and career is important.

If you have no career or money prospects, you’re essentially betting your entire livelihood on one man.

I’ve seen women who stay in horrible, abusive situations and relationships, simply because they have no other option. They feel trapped and extremely unhappy…but it’s all they’ve got. They’re living out a nightmare.

And I want you to be able to leave a relationship if that’s what you need.

I don’t want you to feel trapped within your own life. Suffocated. I don’t want you to have to put up with anything less than what you are worth.

So please, Find a way to make money if need be.

And if your relationship is going well, you’re still not exempt from a similar horror. Maybe he becomes extremely ill and is unable to work or passes away. How are you going to provide for yourself and your family?

Life has many ways of falling apart. I want you to be prepared for a it.

So please, Find a way to make money!

This goes without mentioning the stress this puts the man under. Honestly I feel as though this is a huge reason why men have a shorter life-span. With the man being so pressed to make a living, he may continue in a job he despises, stay away from a career that has high earning potential because of the low starting income, or worse yet completely give up on his dreams in life. It has a cost for all within the family.

I wish money didn’t rule the world…but it truly does.

(Sorry for the depressing read, I just really think it’s something that needs to be said. And sometimes, the things we need to hear are not what we want to hear. But they are still important.)

Genius doesn’t exist

Genius doesn’t exist.

I, like many people, just believed my brain wasn’t wired to do certain things or think certain ways. I thought I was just naturally bad at coding, thermodynamics, and learning languages among other things. I thought other people were more gifted than me in certain areas. A book I read changed that belief in me forever.

When human babies are born, we’re kind of idiots compared to the rest of the animal kingdom. A baby horse can walk, drink, and eat all by itself an hour after its born. Meanwhile, human babies can’t even stop themselves from drooling. This is actually really cool because we’re born to adapt to literally anything! If humans were born with the ability to dog sled, that’d be really useful in Alaska but pretty worthless in Thailand. If we were born with the ability to program computers, that’d be a super useful skill today but worthless 100 years ago. A horse is born with almost everything it’ll ever need to know in its lifetime where we’re hardwired to learn everything. We are the only species designed to adapt to any environment and any time period.

The way we learn skills is through something in our brain called myelin. Myelin acts as a sort of insulation. When we do something correctly, like swing a golf club well for the first time, neurons in our brain fire and signals myelin begins to wrap around those neural pathways. This myelin can wrap up to 50 times and it increases our processing power by 3,000 times. This is why when you begin to golf, you have to think of every step (raise the club over your head, keep your eye on the ball, keep your arms straight, etc) to swing correctly and your movements are awkward and slow. But two years down the road, after you’ve practiced a long time, you step up to the ball and swing without thinking, it’s natural. In fact you are thinking, you’re just thinking at 3,000 times the speed you used to because myelin insulated that circuit. You’re thinking so fast you don’t even know you’re doing it. This is how skills are made.

The implication of this is incredible. We’re all born as blank slates, therefore we’re all born at the same level, therefore we’re all capable of anything. Genius is a myth. Mozart, often called a musical genius, was estimated to have been exposed to 3,500 hours of musical training by his composer father by the time he was 6 years old. This puts his first composition at the realm of impressive but not unobtainable skill. Michelangelo trained under a master artist for ten years before he himself was allowed to create masterpieces. Savants, known for their ability to perform astronomical calculations in their heads, are able to practice calculations ceaselessly in their heads while appearing to be in a conversation or doing nothing. None of these people had or have superior brains, they just all had astronomical amounts of practice.

Well what about that person who just seemed to naturally learn calculus better than you? Myelin transfers. Neural circuits useful in one skill transfer to others. So though you both may have never studied calculus before, that person has learned a related subject that helped him pick this one up easier. That naturally athletic person has played a sport their whole lives that developed hand eye coordination which transferred to many sports. Nobody was naturally born better than you mentally, they just practiced in some way you haven’t.

I can learn anything and I know that now. I wasted too much time not trying things because I believed I couldn’t do them. This knowledge changed the way I approach everything. The question is no longer “Can I do it?” but rather “Am I willing to put in the time to learn it?”

-Charissa Enget

Don't try to live someone else's life. If your friends are drinking into the wee hours and getting fired from work, you don't need to follow their footsteps. Learn to cut out people who are a negative influence on your life. Don't be jealous of your wealthy friend.

Live your life on your own terms.

-Sowmya Sridharan

Attrition in Software Companies........

Your Value.........

Education, especially awareness is very important.

Let me tell you an incident of what happened at our hospital during orthopedics posting.

A woman, 56 maybe, fractured her tibia ( leg bone) while climbing trees. She fell and landed on a hard surface causing this accident.

Being in immense pain, she decided to treat it at HOME. A fractured tibia treated at home…

Anyways, she did some kind of paste, massaged it with hot oil and what not. The pain didn't go (obviously, that's not even surprising).

So she visited some local quack, who gave her some kind of cream (probably steroidal cream) and few tablets of betamethasone( once again, a steroid). That quack knew that steroids have a good effect on pain, but little did he know that steroids kill the immune system, and if the patient is diabetic, then God save her!! She is going to develop serious infection.

Which is what exactly happened..

The pain subsided, but.. She developed high fever and a dirty abscess over that area(we call it acute osteomyelitis) , sign of sepsis turning to septic shock.

The day she was admitted, she had a fever of 104 degrees, which wasn't coming down even after repeated acetaminophens.

The TLC was 35000 ( normal is 4000–11000)

She was passing no urine, sign of kidney failure ( sure sign of septic shock).

It looked something like this.

Became delirious after few hours and breathless too. Had to intubate her.

Our orthopedician decided, that only amputating the leg can save her after she became a bit stable ( performing such big surgeries when the patient is in such bad condition is wayyy to risky)

Sadly she passed away that night only.

Cause if death :- sepsis with septic shock, dyselectrolytemia and Acute kidney injury.

It's was surprising for us, as how can someone die of just a fractured tibia.. That too a closed fracture.

Now, obviously people are going to comment that she couldn't afford going to hospital where X Ray costs 1000 and doctors visit is 2000.

Now let me tell you this.

The thing is, the PHC ( primary health center) was just 15 mins away from her home, and there, everything is done for FREE. A PHC treats these cases for free. Even they would have referred the patient to the nearby Govt Hospital for operation.

She could have gotten better if she knew not to trust quacks. She could have gotten better, only if she was aware of the facilities she could avail. She could have survived if she went to the free PHC.

Someone dying of a fracture is very rare and should never have happened.

That is why, awareness and education is necessary..!!

-Pallab Roy Chowdhury