Signs of Wasting Life

This happened yesterday.

It was a small narrow road.

Only one bus can pass through that road at any one time.

When the bus I was in turned into that road, there was another bus trying to enter the same road from the opposite direction.

When the driver of the other bus noticed this, he braked and drove the bus backwards making way for our bus.

After our bus drove down the slope, he drove up.

Both of them saved time and went ahead with their journeys with a good peace of mind.

Happy end.

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Now assume, the bus driver felt that going backward as a form of defeat. He thought ‘Why should I go backward? I also have equal right. I will go forward. Let him go back’ and continued accelerating.

Strangely the other bus driver also felt the same thing.

Both reached the centre of the road and kept honking at the other to go back.

Each felt that they were giving a tough fight to the other and wanted to win.

However, the reality was,

• By doing this both of them lost lot of time.
• Due to the constant honking and abuses, they lost peace of mind.
• Someone recorded this and put on Quora, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. It went viral and both of them lost jobs.

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So when do you waste your life?

When you focus only on your fighting skill and keep fighting for hours, completely forgetting about what you are going to win by doing that fight.

It happens in our everyday lives.

• Someone ridicules your elemnentary French. You want to prove to him that you are stronger than him. You practise for weeks, forgetting your work and learn a language that is going to be of no use to you.
• Someone insults you. You spend months planning to pay him back and make him suffer.
• Someone says you don’t have knowledge in particular topic that is going to be of no use or interest to you. You keep studying it for hours and finally prove him that you know it.

All these are illusory wars that start because your ego is hurt and your thinking is numbed. You are dragged to the war-field and you keep fighting.

And finally after long sweaty-and-bloody war, you sit down and realise what you have earned. Strangely, Nothing.

In fact, you have only wasted a lot of your valuable time and energy for that one person who was of no importance to you.

Sometimes, it is good to let go of it.

Sometimes, it is good to not bother about things that are only going to halt your progress.

What you win is more important than whether you have fought for it or not.

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Vijay Sethupathi said in one of his famous interviews—

If I get hurt, I know where to show my ego.

I tell people around me. If someone hurts your ego, don’t show it to him. He is going to die some day. What is the point in proving your ego to him. Instead show it in your work. If you do that, you will grow. Once you grow, he will automatically be invisible to your eyes. He will get lost in the crowd that looks at you in awe.

Instead, if you keep fighting with him, you are going to be at his level forever. You are only wasting you life in this process.

    -Srinath Nalluri

I am 45 & just had a $8M Exit in All Cash Without Much Talent

Ok good, you have had a generous exit from your career — 8 million all cash!  

First of all — Don't tell anyone. I really mean it. Do not tell a single soul. This is because you will have friends popping up out of nowhere — you never knew you had before.

This causes all kinds of problems and heartache. You start giving people money — and it’s never enough!

You help someone with money, they spend it and they come right back around for more. Someone comes to you in need, you help them and then someone else gets wind of it. Your house is robbed in the middle of the night, with you in it.

The other bad thing you will find out quickly; the old cliche — money doesn’t buy happiness. Yes, this is a thing. It’s really hard to be rich. So it helps to zip it and throw away the key.

Now, that part is done. The other important cliche is A fool and his money — soon parted! So then, let’s protect your money and cover What not to do:

• Don’t buy a Ferrari: I mean it. Whatever you spend on a fancy exotic car, you will spend twice again maintaining it.

No, this isn’t you. You don’t even have a garage to park this thing, much less maintain it.

This includes a Lamborghini. The girl is only there for temptation; she won’t stick around when all your money is gone. No. Stop!

• Don’t go to Vegas (Don’t Gamble):

You didn’t just win at life so you could lose it right back in Vegas. Don’t!

• Don’t buy a big house:

As nice as it looks, don’t! It’s easy to spend millions on a house on the West or East Coast. And did you know just the property taxes on a $4,000,000.00 home are $52,400 a year. It’s 1.31% of the value of your home — every year!

As a mentor, I advise not to spend one dollar of that new money. I advise to invest it properly and to only spend the fruits of the investments. So here’s what you can do:

1: So let’s drop one million into a good dividend stock: IEP, Icahn Enterprises: It pays about 12% dividend per year. That's $120,000 income on $1,000,000. Not Bad. I combed through 1,000 stocks to get you IEP so don’t feel like I’m just giving you a random stock.

I've been with IEP for 15 years and they always paid the nice dividend. The stock is a rollercoaster, but stay with the dips and peaks to eke out that dividend income. IEP is hard to beat.

2: Put down one million into an apartment rental: (3–4 units California/USA): It will take some looking but you can find a 4 Unit Apartment rental in Los Angeles California that makes a small profit in monthly rent. Expect to pay about $1,000,000 (one million).

Each rent can fetch about $1,750 a month plus. That’s $7,000.00 per month and $84,000 per year income. Put %10 management company fee and %10 costs for upkeep = 84,000* .80 = $67,200 a year income. I’m just going to round that down to $60,000 per year. You may have more costs. Take this deal.

Add the $120,000 income from your dividend stock and we are bringing in about $180,000 with #1 & #2 above, combined — per year. Can you handle that?

We just invested two million dollars; the rest is up to you. Notice, we didn’t actually spend any of that precious eight million; only spend what comes from the investments; never spend the original amount.

“Cut the fruit from the tree. Never cut the tree.” — Wiseman.

You will need to pay taxes. Don't complain. Keep humble with your new-found money and keep your investments private. Your financial future depends on it.

I’m also telling you a lot about what Not to do. Don't do anything risky. When the in-law comes to you with a wonderful investment idea — you will promptly respond with NO! This is not the shark tank — You are not a shark!

Also — you are not a bank! Do not think you can just loan out your new-found money; it’s unlikely to return. Your new big word is NO. Practice that. Practice that and practice keeping quiet. Don't flaunt your money; people will take it from you. Be smart. That’s my advice. Best of luck.

  

-Eric Rodriguez

You Need High IQ, Being Intelligent From Birth & Super Smart to Succeed in Life

Stanford University’s professor of psychology Dr. Carol Dweck changed my life through her extraordinary book called Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.

In her book, Dr. Dweck explains how some believe that success is based on ability and intelligence while others find success through hard work, learning, training and persistence.

In her thesis she proves that our attitude towards challenges is what ultimately leads to success in life. She differentiates between what she calls the fixed mindset versus the growth mindset.

So, to answer your question, how smart do you have to be to succeed in life?

Being smart won’t guarantee any success in life.

Success STARTS with the correct mindset!

How to identify your predominant mindset? Identify it with your reaction towards failure:

• Fixed-mindset individuals grieve failure because it’s a negative statement about how “smart” they are.
• Growth-mindset individuals don't mind or fear failure as much because they realize they can improve and learn from failures.

Even the late genius Albert Einstein relied on his growth mindset:

Was Einstein a natural genius or a stubborn genius? Maybe both!

Dr. Dweck concludes that the growth mindset will lead a person to live a less stressful and more successful life. Read the book. It’s well worth your time.

-Hector Quintanilla,Founder at BeBusinessSmart.com (2019–present)

I can’t Live a Day Without Wishing I Could Change My Past

 

The most foolish thing in the world is to wish that you can change the past.

Changing-the-past is a type of wish which even God can’t fulfill, let alone human being.

• Your misery is not due to the mistakes committed by you in the past, however grave they may be.
• Your misery is due to your wish of changing your past, which is impossible to be achieved.

When you aspire for a wish that is impossible to be achieved, you can only hope to get pain, suffering, frustration and anger in your life.

Learn from your past, start living in present and start planning for a better future.

We all commit mistakes in our lives because ‘to err is human’.

However, a wise person learns from his mistakes and become successful in life as evident from the following.

A reporter once asked a bank president…

“Sir, what is the secret of your success?”

The banker replied… “Two words.”

“And, sir, what are they?” the reporter asked.

“Right decisions,” the banker answered.

“And how do you make the right decisions?”

“One word.”

“And, sir, what is it?”

“Experience.”

“And how do you get experience?”

“Two words.”

“And, sir, what are they?”

“Wrong decisions,” the banker answered.

Don’t allow your past mistakes to ruin your life.

Instead, learn from the experiences of your past mistakes to achieve success and happiness in your life.

 

-Awdhesh Singh,Ex-IRS | IITian | Educator | Author Essay & Ethics book for UPSC

{ Blogger's Note : You Dont Need to Commit All The Mistakes Yourself. Learn from the mistakes of others also. Learn from books (non-fiction). Learn from the experience of others. Try to Learn about biases & heuristics & defense mechanisms & some psychology so that you can appreciate and distinguish fact from fabrication.                  " Above All, Be True To Yourself " }

The 6 Games In Life You Play

“How do you know what to optimize your career for?”

I asked, genuinely curious.

I had thought about it, of course, but I never had a satisfactory answer.

“Well, you see, you must first know what game you’re playing,” David Fallarme explained.

“There are 6 games (there are more) that people usually play.

They are:

1. Security Game, for e.g salaryman
2. Money Game, for e.g hedge fund managers
3. Mastery Game, for e.g artist
4. Freedom Game, for e.g nomadic freelancer
5. Influence Game, for e.g politician
6. Altruism Game, for e.g social worker

To know what you want to optimize your career and life for, you must know what game to play.

The maximum you can do is a combination of 2 games, for e.g Mastery & Freedom.”

“And,” he continued.

“Most people are unhappy, or find that their careers are off because of several reasons:

1. They are playing the wrong game.
2. They are trying to play all the games.
3. They get forced by society to play the most popular game, which is the Money Game.”

I paused.

I had never thought of my career in this manner.

And yet, it seems so clear to me now.

The game I want to play is Freedom + Mastery.

Freedom to make my own choices, and Mastery to excel at something.

How about you?

What games are you trying to play?

-Si Quan Ong

Everyone Has a Special Purpose

I was an average student in my school days. I scored just 65% marks in Class VIII Board Examination, but 92% marks in Maths.

However, when I joined class IX, I discovered that I liked Maths and Science (particularly Physics).

I then started enjoying my studies and I got 1st rank in my School in the Xth Board.

I thought then that I was going to be a scientist.

However, in Intermediate classes (Class XI & XII), everyone was preparing for Engineering Entrance Examinations as the career in Engineering secured the job.

I followed the rat race, wrote the IIT-JEE and other Engineering Tests, scored 1331 rank in IIT-JEE (now JEE-Advanced) and got admission in IIT BHU (then IT-BHU) for Mechanical Engineering based on my rank and choice.

I spend the next four years doing my B Tech. Then I joined L&T in 1987 and realized after a year that I don’t like corporate jobs.

I then decided to do M Tech in IIT Delhi to ensure my career in academics and also try my luck in Civil Services Examination (CSE).

I got success in my first attempt in CSE and allotted IRS (C&CE) which was my third choice (after IAS & IPS) based on my rank.

It was after working in IRS for 10 years, I realized that love learning and doing research.

Hence, I joined PhD in IIITM Gwalior in 2002 in the area of E-Governance.

It was while doing my PhD that I discovered the writer in me.

I then realised that I actually love writing and doing research.

I published 7 research papers in course of my PhD work in less than 2 years, which convinced me that I have the potential to write.

It was in 2004, I decided that I wish to be a writer.

I wrote my first book in 2005 and send it to a dozen publisher and all rejected it.

Yet I was sure that I wanted to be a writer and I kept writing on different forums and wrote almost 500 articles between 2005–2011, while being part of IRS.

I wrote my next book on Spiritual Intelligence only in 2011, which was sent to almost a dozen publishers and finally accepted by Wisdom Tree in 2012.

I was finally a published writer in 2013.

I wanted to quit the job and become a full-time writer, but I had a family to support and two daughters who were studying in colleges. I could not have run away from responsibilities.

I waited for the children to be settled in jobs and then I quit from IRS in 2016, after spending 25 years in a government job.

Now after four more years, I have seven books already published.

And now I believe that being a writer is the special purpose of my life.

It took me more than three decades to figure out who I am and what my purpose of life should be.

I sometimes think that I have wasted 8 years in my Engineering education and 25 years in IRS, because today I write mainly about the philosophy of life.

Could I have made my discovery easier?

How great it would have been if there would have been a test which could predict what the purpose of your life should be?

Unfortunately, there is no such test and no such shortcut.

We all have to discover our own special purpose in a hard way, usually by hit and trial.

If you are able to discover your purpose of life early, you are lucky.

If you are able to discover it within your lifespan, it is not too late.

The only requirement is that till such time we find ourselves, we have to keep exploring.

I do believe that everyone is born to serve a special purpose in this world.

I also firmly believe in the wise words of Socrates, “An unexamined life is not worth living.”

  

  -Awdhesh Singh