Recipe To Have a Miserbale Life

1. Closing Your Mind

I know way too many people who still operate with the same beliefs, patterns, and styles of thinking that they did when they were 18.

  

They blindly listened to authority, accepted whatever beliefs their family, friends, and society instilled in them…and never bothered to challenge any of it as they grew up.

  

The simple truth is that life is complicated. Infinitely so.

  

And no matter how fervently you believe something, there is someone else somewhere in the world with an antithetical viewpoint that is often just as valid as your own.

   

When you operate with a closed mind in your 20s, you never have the opportunity to formulate your own ideas. To create your own code for living and find your own answers to life’s hard questions.

   

And, if you create this habit in your 20s, it is MUCH harder to break later on. 

Your 20s should be a time to question everything…religion, politics, life advice, your own goals, your own beliefs about the world, your own identity as a man or woman…EVERYTHING.

  

If you were told that “success” is getting married, having a 9–5 job with a good pension, raising a few kids and then retiring and you chose to believe that (even if, subconsciously this sounds like hell), you are setting yourself up for a life of misery.

  

Question everything and don’t accept anything you were told simply because mommy, daddy, a teacher, or the government told it to you.

   

 

2. Fearing Failure

  

Let’s just get this out of the way.

You’re going to fail. A lot. Way more than you can even imagine.

This is true of everyone.

  

Failure is an inevitable part of life. But most people fear it as if it’s the end of life. And, as a result, they play it safe and refuse to take bold risks or chart their own path.

 

The way you live in your 20s will, for better or worse, determine how you live later in life.

While it’s true that people can and do change, the chains of habit tighten with time, making it harder for you to break out of your old patterns, behaviors, and beliefs.

  

In your 20s you shouldn’t fear failure…you should seek it out.

The time to fail is now.

  

Start your business. Travel the world. Write your book. Backpack around the country.

 

Do whatever you truly want to do and trust that if you do fail (and you probably will) you can recover.

 

If I’d allowed my fear of failure to paralyze me in my 20s, I would be in a miserable marriage, working a job I don’t like, and stuck in my own personal hell.

Because I was willing to stare failure in the face, I have the dating life of my dreams, built a 7-figure business, and enjoy a life I honestly never thought was possible.

   

3. Refusing to Work on Yourself 

 

If you don’t work on yourself in your 20s…if you don’t address childhood trauma, forge your own identity, look at your strengths and weaknesses objectively, and attempt to improve who you are and how you live…you will create a pattern of tolerance.

 

You will tolerate a shitty life because it’s all you’ve ever known.

 

You’ll tolerate shitty relationships, jobs, friends, and health because you weren’t willing to do the hard work when you were younger.

  

And it is MUCH harder to build a business, get in great shape, or create an abundant dating and social life when you’re in your 30s and 40s than it is in your 20s.

  

Take this decade to work on yourself. 

 

Build a bulletproof body that allows you to do the things you want to do and that you feel confident in.

Master social dynamics and learn how to make friends, find great partners, and experience authentic love and connection (and how to keep it around).

  

Learn about finances and your respective career so that you can compound your skills and accumulate real wealth.  

PUT IN THE WORK to become the person you want to be and everything will fall into place later.

  

4. Abusing Your Health

Listen…

It’s normal to party in your 20s, experiment with drugs, drink a little (ok a lot) too much on the weekends, and order late-night pizzas to cure your hangover.

But sooner or later, you need to start taking your health seriously.

   

Again, if you become overweight or injure yourself in your 20s, it’s a LOT harder to recover from this in your 30s.

Have fun, but don’t abuse your health. 

 

Prioritize sleep (7 hours minimum every night). Eat clean foods (ideally things that grew in the ground or had a face). Make a habit of going to the gym. Take supplements that are proven to improve performance.

Take care of your body and it will take care of you.

Abuse your body and life will abuse you.

   

5. Allowing Other People to Determine Your Identity

  The MOST detrimental thing you can do in your 20s is to allow other people to determine who you should be.

 

To let society, your parents, your friends, and the media dictate your goals, actions, and ambitions. 

I know too many guys who got into a job or relationship because it was what everyone else thought they should do…who now hate their lives and want nothing more than to turn back the clock and make a different decision (but of course, they can’t…because they have 2 kids, a mortgage, and an unhappy marriage they can’t end).

   

 

Don’t be like most people.

   

You and only you are responsible for your life and future.

And you and only you know what will make you happy, fulfilled, and alive.

You only have one shot at life.

And it’s up to you to make it count.

Just because your family wants what is best for you doesn’t mean they know what’s best for you.

    

And just because society says you should be a rich, handsome billionaire with 6-pack abs doesn’t mean that’s what you should actually do. 

     

Figure out who you really are and who you really want to be and then put in the work to make your goals a reality.

Everything else is bullshit.

  

Stay Grounded

 
Andrew Ferebee

Successful People

My friend Kshitij is a very good coder. He wanted to set up his own start up. So in college from third year onwards he involved in various projects in search of opportunities.

After seeing his dedication his mentor funded for a project under him. But unfortunately it could not kick off. He did not take it as a failure, rather a learning experience. More or less this positive attitude is common among all successful people.

His coding skill and that experience in project fetched him a good paying job after graduation. Remember hard work always pays off directly or indirectly.

Though he had taken a job, but his hunger for start up was always there. Burning deep inside of him. After working for few months he got both: experience in corporate sector and some financial saving. In the mean time, he was working on his start up product as well. It was ready. Now he could take calcuated risk. When you know when to take risk and when to back out.

He founded his start up and worked on it. Day and night. Yet failed. How can he fail!! When everything was right, how can someone fail! He put his effort, he is intelligent, his strategy was right. One will think like Years of effort and sacrifice went waste.

But No. Efforts never go waste. He got a job in JIO which was offering him huge pay due to his experience as a Start up cofounder.

Meanwhile he worked at JIO to come back stronger. He cofounded another start up in a short span and this one is a big success. Recently he won the Y combinator programme and Tech stars Start up competition and got big time funding.

Three golden rules of successful people :

1. They do not complain or blame their parents, luck, career, college
2. They know when not to give up and when to.
3. They are smart workers. They work hard, but with a strategy which is continuously evaluated. 
   
   
   
   
   
   -Abinash Mishra

Money and passion .................

Money and passion rarely go together.

• If you are seeking money, you can’t follow your passion.
• If you are seeking your passion, you can’t make much money.

Passion is an emotion, which seeks gratification in following your heart and doing what you love to do.

However, when you do what you love, it can hardly earn you good money.
 

For example, over a million book are published in a year globally and hardly a few hundred books are sold enough to provide enough royalty to the author to live a dignified life.
  

Most authors earn negative royalty since they can’t even recover their cost of promotion from the royalties.
  

Even the most bestselling authors earn income that is not more than the income of an average professional in any field.

Only one in a million author earn income that makes news and inspires millions to follow them.
   

It is common for most writers to work in an alternate job where they can get an assured income till they become so popular that they can survive on their royalties.
 

And unfortunately 99.9% of the authors never reach to that stage.
  

The same hold good for almost all passions like painting, singing, playing etc.
   

Only in exceptional cases, people make good money by following their passion when they reach on the top of the chosen profession.
 

It reminds me a picture posted recently by Neha Kakkad, who has become now perhaps the top singer in the HIndi movies. She shared her inspiring journey of living in a one-bedroom house to buying a lavish bungalow. (see pics below)
  

  She may thus inspire millions of males and females who sings well to follow their passion in the hope of becoming as rich and successful.
 

However, let them not forget that unless you reach in the top one dozen singers in India, you may perhaps be singing in a party or in hotel earning a meager income just to survive.
 

It is not to say that passion should not be followed.

However, you must not follow your passion for the sake of money inspired by one-in-a-million success story.
 

You must follow the passion because it gives your soul a deep satisfaction and gives you a purpose of life.
 

If you get money too while following your passion, treat it as a gift of God or a bonus for pleasing the world.
 
-Awdhesh Singh

You can easily cultivate a burning desire to do the things that you don’t like doing

It’s quite simple really.

 

Just relate the outcome of something you don’t like doing to something that you truly desire.

During the JEE preparation, I sacrificed all parties and outings with friends and gave my everything to JEE studies. This was not because I had a burning desire to study. It was because I really desired the outcome of the JEE preparation - a good IIT, which would improve my career.

 

I did not find myself interested in computer science during my B.Tech, but I still ensured my grades never suffered. This was not because I had a burning desire to code, but because I could relate good grades in my mind as a pathway to good foreign internship opportunities to explore the world, and a good MBA college.

I don’t work hard as a consultant now because I have a burning desire to consult, but because I desire a successful career. I want to be good at what I do.

 

Whenever you pick up an activity which you don’t like doing, just think about why you picked up that activity in the first place. If there is absolutely no desirable outcome of that activity, then you are probably wasting your time doing that activity anyway.

 

But if there is an outcome that you desire, then you are not spending time doing an activity you don’t like, but you are spending time working towards an outcome you want. That thought should be enough to generate a burning desire in your mind.

 

Desire is, after all, just a trick of the mind and the heart.

-Rohan Jain,IIM,IIT