No one cares about my Happiness And I Always Sacrifice my wants and needs................

Life is hard. Really hard. Finding my way takes grit and mostly means two things:

Making a distinction between what works for “everyone” and what works for me.

Finding the presence of mind to disappoint others in the name of standing up for myself.

People pleasing is disguised as generosity but really it’s avoidance. It’s constant, relentless escape from doing the hard work of not compromising myself.

The price is to not clearly understand who I am, to let people walk all over me, to feel full of bitterness and resentment and to wonder why I feel I am in the wrong life.

I am in the wrong life because if I people please I don’t understand how to set boundaries and constantly allow others to make decisions for me.

Love yourself. Love yourself enough to know you are worth not betraying yourself in the name of getting others to approve of you.

-Dushka Zapata

1. Stopping trying to make things easier. Use discomfort as a compass. See number 2.
2. Doing really hard things. I ran 50km in April. Now walking to the bus is easier.
3. Letting go trying to control things. Your organs run without a single thought being devoted to them. Rather than overthinking everything, pretend it’s like your heartbeat and let it happen.
4. Cutting out negative crap. Negative food, negative people, negative news sources (all of the news). All cut.
5. Talking to myself. I write 750 words per day no questions asked. Even if I don’t want to. Most of it is talking to myself. I’m now my own best friend.
6. Less decisions. Ever been to an ice cream shop and struggled to make a choice? That used to be me. Now the first flavour that comes into my mind is getting devoured. I also threw out my closet and bought 3 plain shirts. No one ever says anything.
7. Sleeping more. No alarms. Earlier bedtimes. More naps. It’s a superpower. My awake time is 40x better when I’ve slept well.
8. Loving myself. Another superpower. We’re too hard on ourselves. Now I remind myself each day I love myself. Bad day? Look in the mirror. Into your own eyes. Tell that pretty face how much you love you.
9. Creating. Creation is setting the ideas in your mind free. Trade a portion of your consumption time for creating and you’ll start to see the world differently. Everything is inspiration.
10. Realising no one really cares. Go for a drive. Go for a walk. You see the old lady carrying her groceries? She lives a life as beautiful and as complicated as yours. Do you think she cares what you’re going to do tomorrow? Go and do your thing. No one will care as much as you. So you better make it damn good. Impress yourself for the sake of it.

Damn I love writing. I’m charged up. Be careful with number 9, especially before bed.

Time for me to follow my own advice. Number 7 here I come baby!

Zzz

-Daniel Bourke

Try using this trick for 7 Days.........

Visualize this

Dear children,

Visualize this - you have grown up and want to buy a car. Which one will you buy?

There are many choices: Tata Nano, Alto, Honda City, Mercedez, etc.

Why doesn’t everyone buy a Mercedez? Because you have to pay a huge price for it.

But is that also not true for our life-dreams? We can have a small dream (e.g., become a clerk) or a big one (e.g., be the next Sundar Pichai - the Google CEO).

You can choose any dream you want - provided you can pay the price with your hard work.

When you are studying late at night and solving problems, you may feel exhausted. In those moments, tell yourself that you are paying the price for your ‘Mercedez dream’.

When you choose not to play video games or watch TV, and instead study or play outdoors, you are making your dream a reality, bit by bit.

Dream big. Pay the price today. Your car is getting ready to be delivered.

-Rajan Singh,IItian,Ex-IPS

---

Clarification: ‘Mercedez dream’ is an analogy for your ‘no-compromise’ big life-dreams, whatever they might be. I am obviously not talking about an actual Mercedez car or even materialistic possessions.

What you choose as your life-dream, that is up to you.

No one believes in me.....

The lecturer threw away my register and said: 'Don’t come to me for extra classes, when you fail in final exams. Look at these guys, they are students, I can give in writing they will get a distinction in this subject, shame on you people'

I replied: 'Ma’am, kindly don't compare with me with anyone else, their marks are not my business'

She said: 'Get out'

I walked away, smiling at my friends, like a celebrity.

---

The subject was genuinely tough and I couldn't get hold of it by them.

That lecturers words didn't hurt me, her words were only a symbol of her immaturity and judgmental attitude.

What did I do?

Nothing, I ignored that conversation, though didn't forget it. Also I studied the subject thoroughly, not one or two times but 5 times. Not to prove anything, but to clear the paper and to understand the subject in depth.

I scored one of the highest marks in that subject, but I didn't go to the lecturer to show her down, because she was irrelevant to me, giving her importance would mean that I would was a bigger fool than her.

---

A year later, the same lecturer came to me (didn't call me) and requested me to select a group of students from our class to give interview in her husband's company, including those students whom she judged to be intelligent earlier, her husband was a senior Director there.

All this because I was the first to be placed, scored good marks, and was heading the placement committee as well.

It was then that I realise that people can easily lose and gain back hope in you, their views are not fixed.

---

I will give just one tip-

When people lose hope in you, it's their problem, and their way of thinking and analysing things.

Never give them over-importance.

-Anubhav Jain

This Type of People will not Succeed in Life. Are You One of These?

Once upon a time a daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable and that she didn’t know how she was going to make it.

She was tired of fighting and struggling all the time. It seemed just as one problem was solved, another one soon followed.

Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire.

Once the three pots began to boil, he placed potatoes in one pot, eggs in the second pot and ground coffee beans in the third pot. He then let them sit and boil, without saying a word to his daughter.

The daughter, moaned and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing. After twenty minutes he turned off the burners.

He took the potatoes out of the pot and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. He then ladled the coffee out and placed it in a cup.

Turning to her, he asked. “Daughter, what do you see?”

“Potatoes, eggs and coffee,” she hastily replied.

“Look closer” he said, “and touch the potatoes.” She did and noted that they were soft.

He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. Its rich aroma brought a smile to her face.

“Father, what does this mean?” she asked.

He then explained that the potatoes, the eggs and coffee beans had each faced the same adversity-the boiling water. However, each one reacted differently. The potato went in strong, hard and unrelenting, but in boiling water, it became soft and weak.

The egg was fragile, with the thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior until it was put in the boiling water. Then the inside of the egg became hard.

However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were exposed to the boiling water, they changed the water and created something new.

“Which one are you?” he asked his daughter.

“When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a potato, an egg, or a coffee bean?”

---

What kind of people will not succeed in life?

People who blame the everyone and everything for their situation. They blame the government, the technology, the weather, their family, the politicians, they blame their boss, their college, their teachers. They blame everyone and everything.

In life, things happen around us, things happen to us, but the only thing that truly matters is how you choose to react to it and what you make out of it. Life is all about leaning, adopting and converting all the struggles that we experience into something positive.

-Seth Oteng

How to enjoy life when you are young

We are Blind

We all - every one of us - exhibit patterns of behavior that are obvious to everyone but that we ourselves cannot see.

We will deny that they exist.

These are our "blind spots". Carl Jung calls them our "shadow".

Have you ever noticed how you are often involved in situations that are similar across different aspects of your life?

Why does everyone leave me?

Or how you have the exact same fight with different people in different relationships?

Have you ever said - or heard a friend say - things like "why does every person I date end up cheating on me?" or "why does everyone betray me?" or "why doesn't anyone understand me?" or "why do I always end up in long distance relationships?"

These are all the consequence of our blind spots.

"Until you make the unconscious conscious" said Jung "it will direct your life, and you will call it fate".

-Dushka Zapata

You should remember this.....Ask yourself this Question Often...............

Some day, you will walk into your bathroom.

And there standing in the mirror will be an older you looking back.

Imagine that older self looking at you in the mirror today.

Would he or she be proud of the life you are living right now?

Time is a precious resource.

I doubt that older self would wish you’d procrastinated more, watched more TV, played more games.

Make sure you are using your time in a way that supports your own happiness and definition of success.

-Sean Kernan

How To Enjoy Life When You are Young

Just after graduating from IIM Ahmedabad, I was going to Sri Lanka for our post B-School trip.

As I stood in line and instinctively showed my institute card for verification (I had got used to it for the past year and a half), the security guard looked up at me and said in Hindi “Are you from IIM Ahmedabad?”

When I said I was, he looked at me and said:

“Sir, you have stayed awake for the last twenty years so that you can sleep peacefully for next fifty. We slept peacefully for the last twenty years and now will have to stay awake for the next fifty”

As he handed back my card and requested for my passport, I stood numbed by his deep insight. Focus on working hard when you’re young, rather than enjoyment, so that you can live well for the latter part of your life.

I have never forgotten his wise words.

-Aviral Bhatnagar

My 96-year-old grandmother's memory is failing.

She thinks I'm her cousin and asks me about long-gone relatives in pre-war Poland. Or that she's in Europe. Or that she's still in her sixties.

She asks me multiple times if I've eaten already.

But more than anything, she expresses love.

She looks me in the eyes, smiles tenderly, and says, "I love you!"

And when I tell her "I love you" back, she says, "Not as much as I love you!"

It's as if the cognitive and mental frameworks that have held her life together are falling away, and what remains behind them is the bare, foundation.

Which is clearly made of emotions.

Love, warmth, and a strong desire to see the people she cares for happy, thriving, healthy.

I feel immensely fortunate to be able to share these moments with her before she passes on.

But I also see this as a profound lesson in human psychology.

It's emotions that give meaning to life.

A feeling of belonging and security at home.

A feeling of purpose and appreciation at work.

A feeling of self-actualization and progress within.

And, of course, love.

If you haven't done so already, please tell someone close to you how much you care for them.

Ask my 96-year-old grandmother.

She'll tell you that that's what matters when all is said and done.

-Ben Wise

Dont Look Rich.Be Rich.

1. Don’t spend more than what you can earn.
2. Salary you earned can’t make you rich. But the way you spend it will determine your future.
3. If something costs $1,000, and it’s on sale for $750, and then you decide to buy it, you did not save $250 but you spent $750.
4. Don’t buy that $300 bag to have nothing in it, buy that $20 bag and have $280 in it. Don’t go broke trying to look rich.

These are some of my favorite quotes (some are from famous businessmen and some random people) that my husband taught me and really changed my mindset when it comes to earning and spending. I am not millionaire but I’ve reached most of my goals when i hit 30. It’s all about wise spending. Saving as much as you can and most of all initiative to learn investments.

-Donna Leong

Cornell Experience

I graduated 7th from the bottom of my high school class (of 173). Got married young, had two boys, worked outdoors. Mowed lawns, cut trees, worked on draggers and lobster boats. Even pumped septic tanks for extra money on Saturdays After observing the older guys around me that were doing the same sort of work, they all seemed bent, busted-up and spent way too early. I remember asking myself as I was mowing a lawn on some expensive waterfront cottage, what did they have that I didn’t? I worked hard, I thought I was fairly intelligent, I was motivated, a good husband and parent. What set them apart? I decided that the answer was a college education.

So, I started a plan to get one. I attended a community college in the evenings, got some experience in learning under my belt, got some mediocre SAT scores, applied to a bunch of colleges and got turned down by every one. By now I’m 23 or 24. Took some more night courses, an SAT prep course and got a better score. 1450 I think? Applied again…This time I got accepted to every one. I was thrilled and terrified. 

Cornell was my first choice, but Purdue, Penn State, or University of Oregon would have been fine. Cornell was willing to take me, but I needed to pass Summer courses in Chemistry, Biology and Calculus first. Night courses again, struggled but made the grade. Started at Cornell just after I lost my father in an accident. A year and a half later, I lost my mom in another accident.

So, there I was. Traumatized. Two young kids, a wife, some income from part-time work from both of us. The courses were kicking my ass. I was way over my head. Everyone was smarter and a better student than me. Looking back on it, the pressure was unbelievable. But failure was not an option. Not after I worked so hard to get there. I think I managed a 2.5 GPA.

The upside was meeting so many people who would be friends for the next 40 years. Cornell continued to open doors for me. I went on to a start-up biotechnology company and made enough money to go back for a Ph.D. I landed a job with a small European biotech company that grew 10 fold ( more Cornell contacts!) I traveled all over the world and became somewhat of an expert in my field.

I finally retired at 58 and my wife and I have traveled the country for 6 to 9 months of the year with an RV and a motorcycle. It’s been 8 years now and we’re still doing it.

We passed thru Ithaca on our travels a few years ago and I felt genuine terror. The place was so big and intimidating. Don’t know why they picked me. Don’t know how I got through it all. But it has been there for me my entire career. And I am so proud to be a graduate of Cornell.

So proud…

Oh, and my high school class? I’m the only one with an Ivy League degree and a Ph.D.

-Rob Everich