Want to be extraordinary?

While moving our office, recently, I chatted with one of my office partners as we watched her TV loaded.

“I’d never have a TV in my office. It’d drive me crazy,” I said.

Though to be truthful, I’ve been told on occasion that’s a nearby destination.

“Wow, my husband watches TV constantly,” she replied. “We have 10 in our house. And another 6 at our mountain condo.”

“Yikes, we have one. And we’re not hooked to cable. We just stream a program while we eat dinner or a movie on the weekend. I can’t imagine watching that much TV.”

“Well, my husband can’t survive without it.”

Now, I’ve never watched TV much. And I clearly remember our son, when he was young, one evening curing me of even the little I watched.

We’d enjoyed dinner together and I’d gone into the living room to watch a program I enjoyed.

He came in, sat down beside me on the sofa and said, “Dad, do we have to watch TV?”

I looked over at his little loving face and replied, “No we don’t.” And I turned it off and never turned it back on in an evening again until our kids left for college.

And what did I do instead?

Well, let’s see.

I talked and played with our kids.

Talked with my wife.

Hmm, went to bed early occasionally with my wife.

Read books.

Slept enough.

And the result?

I have a great relationship with both of our now grown children.

Have a great relationship with my wife.

Learned the equivalent of several additional college degrees.

Built successful businesses.

Invested and built our net worth.

Enjoy great health.

Oh, and enjoyed a few early nights with my wife.

To live an extraordinary life you need to do what the ordinary choose not to do.

               -Doug Armey

When to walk away from a relationship?

When I dread instead of look forward to seeing you.

When I feel perpetually exhausted.

When nothing seems to get resolved without high-octane drama.

When the reasons for the relationship are internal. It’s not that I love you, it’s that I’m lonely.

When what you think I mean is not at all what I said, and this happens systematically.

Or when you say that’s not what you said, and I know that you did, and this happens systematically.

When you mistreat me: raise your voice, gaslight me, play games, twist words.

When we want different things.

When despite our efforts, we are fundamentally incompatible.

When there is an absence of trust.

When anything in our dynamic is hurting either your life or mine.

When my life is not interesting to you – or yours to me.

When I don’t like who I am when I am with you.

When the only time we truly connect is when we have sex. And that’s great but I want connection everywhere. Everywhere.

When the most you can give me is less than what I need.

After you’ve clearly stated that you cannot love me.

    -Dushka Zapata

Less than 60% in 10-12 ?

I got 59.8 percent in my 12th, not even first class. Of course, it took me time and effort to rebound. Screw the world as it will be cruel to you. “Kuch to log kahange. Kahane he unka kaam”….

I reboubded by focusing on learning Computer science as I genuinely loved the subject. I did my undergrad from one of the smallest engineering colleges. Actually I was the first batch for my college.

 I worked hard for 4 years filling my gaps in knowlegde, humbled and focussed. At the end of 4 years, I got AIR 2 in GATE and went to India's best university ( Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore) for my masters degree. The world appluaded me.

 But, I became numb to the world as I know what they say doesnot really matter in the long run. From then on, I learnt to work hard and ignore the world. My efforts and a bit of luck took me places.

Trust me, it is easy to say all of this in retrospective.

 But, it's not easy to go through those years of struggle. But, that's what made me strong. My suggestion is to ignore the world and buckle up for a few years of efforts and hard work.

I just recalled this quote from Rudyard Kipling's poem: “ If you can meet with triumph and diaster and meet those imposters the same, …., you will be a man my son.” We had this poem in our school and I still remember it vividly even today as it helped me learn some important lessons of life.

--Srikanth Varma Chekuri

#Life

‘Humare ghar ladki kyun hogi, humne koi karz nahi lie. Humare ghar toh bas bete honge. Desi ghee ke ladoo hote hain bete toh.’

‘Why will God send girls in our house. We are not debtors. We will have only sons in our house. After all sons are the richest of sweets.’

These were the exact words of my elder sister's mother-in-law to my mother, which she said sarcastically when my elder sister delivered her first born, a baby boy, 13 years back.

A little backdrop :

We are three sisters, and my elder sister is married into a house where all four children are men. My brother-in-law, his real brother and his two cousin brothers of his paternal uncle.

So when my sister delivered a baby boy, her mother-in-law taunted her indirectly that they are superior as every child born in their family has been a boy because they're not ‘debtors', however my parents are of highest degree, as they have three daughters and not even one son.

Year 2011 :

Their younger daughter-in-law was pregnant, and she delivered twin girls. When my sister told us this news, I silently asked my mother if she remembered that incident when that family compared daughters to debt and inferiority and spoke big words that God will never send daughters in their house because they were not ‘debtors' of anyone. 

My mother did remember.

My mother called my sister's mother-in-law, congratulated her, but soon realized she wasn't too happy after seeing two girls, that too at once.

Although my mother disconnected the call after formalities, I was happy that finally God broke her false pride of having only sons in their home by sending daughters. I was happy that now she won't hurt another mother just because she have only daughters.

I also wish that they won't discriminate further and would equally love them, and understand that daughters and sons are equal blessings of God.

Always remember, God is going to serve his justice at the right time. No human is superior than God. So watch out your words and actions.

   -Vidushi Gupta

Dirty Truth About Corporate World....

No company can provide a career path to every single individual in the organisation. Yet, most employees want to believe there is a beautiful story with a happy ending being scripted for them by their bosses and HR.

Those behind the glass doors know how the “bell curve” is hanging around everyone's neck, all the time. The politics gets dirtier as you climb the levels. When everyone is fighting hard to survive and find a better chair for themselves, there is no time to design a career for the subordinates.

Each year, few employees get promoted and feel like they have a career. Usually, these are the ones who make their bosses look good. A vast majority of the workforce gets frustrated to stay where they are despite many years of effort. 

And the rest join the dreaded to-be-managed-out-eventually list. Once put in this bucket, it is incredibly hard to come out of it and build a career at the same place.

Managing your career is your responsibility. Most companies don’t say this out loud because most employees can’t digest this fact and still stay motivated.

                                 - Imtiaz Mohammad